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Empires: Dawn of the Modern Badly Made Game by laudablepuss 02/13/2005, 5:44pm PST
After announcing they were way too busy working on Empire Earth II and couldn't possibly be bothered to work on any patches for this deeply flawed game, lo and behold they came out with two more patches. I happened to notice this weekend that they were up to 1.3, so like an idiot, I downloaded the patch and gave it a go.

Still broken: epoch up to WWI with 8 players and a population cap of 2500 or more and the game becomes unplayable. I get 1 frame per minute, roughly. It takes three minutes to select a unit. Fantastic. Maybe in 30 years I'll have good enough hardware to run this POS? I only have a 128 MB Radeon and 1.5 GHz Athlon XP. Sure, I could get a way better CPU nowadays, but this thing came out over a year ago.

Wildly fixed beyond belief: the SAS guys. Now they're GODS. I watched in amazement as these guys SWAM OUT TO MY BATTLESHIP and started doing I don't know what to cause it to sink. They looked so ridiculous, like this was a crappy mod that someone had made. Incidentally, my subs were firing torpedoes at these guys as they swam. An individual guy could take a torpedo and live. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or unplug my computer. I know frogmen can damage warships, but I was way the hell out to sea fighting bombers and surface ships. In real life, a warship pretty much needs to be in harbor for this to work. Why did the genii game developers feel this was a good addition to the game?

Meanwhile, on land, the SAS guys were magically causing all my guys to die and my equipment to explode. Tanks just turn black and fall apart. AA guns go away so fast I blink and miss them. Are they ninjas? With sniper rifles? And magic spells? WTF OVER?

I was looking forward to Empire Earth II (note to Jonesy: should be out in a month or two if you want to create a forum for it. Or re-create the Dawn of the Rise of Mythology of Nations or whatever forum) but now I'm expecting the worst. Whatshisname the guy whose baby this franchise is loves magic and craziness thrown into his meticulously historically accurate games. So we get King Tiger tanks getting blown up by precision guided Tunguskan Meteors. Okay, fine, I'm used to that now. But the SAS guys are an unexpected kind of stupidity. Like they've contracted Dawn of War disease and are now tweaking their games into unplayability. Very sad.
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Empires: Dawn of the Modern Badly Made Game by laudablepuss 02/13/2005, 5:44pm PST
    People still play that game? by Quentin Beck 02/13/2005, 9:05pm PST
        Re: People still play that game? by laudablepuss 02/13/2005, 10:03pm PST
            Three times? Of course it's fixed! by Dawn of War team 02/13/2005, 11:44pm PST
    how did the previous non-broken version compare to Rise of Nations? by FABIO 02/13/2005, 9:07pm PST
        Re: how did the previous non-broken version compare to Rise of Nations? by laudablepuss 02/13/2005, 10:02pm PST
    Re: Empires: Dawn of the Modern Badly Made Game by laudablepuss 08/26/2011, 9:34pm PDT
        Ha, I see I bitched about this two and a half years ago, too. NT by laudablepuss 01/24/2014, 9:05am PST
    Re: Empires: Dawn of the Modern Badly Made Game by laudablepuss 01/24/2014, 9:03am PST
 
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