Our CREDENTIALS

I am the number 1 videogame and art theorist in the world, and the game will adhere as strictly as technology will presently allow us to all of my theory's conclusions.

Our REQUIREMENTS

We need every kind of game developer under the sun — and as many of them as possible. If you've ever sat through the credits of a game like Deus Ex 3 and Far Cry 2, you'll know what I mean. There is simply no theoretical limit to the number of individuals from whose contributions such a game can profit. The only limiting factor, indeed, is the skill of the director — how capable is he of motivating the team to deliver the right content? of appraising and vetting that content so that only the best of it makes it through? of integrating that content within his grand design so that it ends up performing precisely the function which he had envisioned for it instead of getting out of control and ruining the whole thing? When a subhuman says "that director's team was too big", you should translate it as "that director's skill was too low to handle a team of that size". If you've been reading Insomnia for a while you might have realized how good I am at getting the best out of people: from the numerous reviewers who started out regurgitating the same bullshit as everyone else ("this game has no gameplay!"), and who after my coaching are now able to churn out unmatched articles and reviews in a couple of hours on a regular basis, all the way down to forum contributions from individual people who come and go and leave only a single post behind them — a single post which, due to my unmatched value-appraising skills and ruthless moderating style is better and more valuable than all the hundreds and thousands of posts they have scribbled in their lives in every other forum.

Note that, once I've invited you to join, you will have to subscribe to the site if you aren't already a subscriber. This is for two reasons. 1) There will be a (hidden) subforum on the site where we will work on the übergame, because this method is superior to trying to exchange emails between dozens of people. And 2) I want to know your real name (which PayPal will give me) because I don't want to allow anonymous people to join in and take a peek at the game before I am ready to unveil it. If you prefer to work pseudonymously — via a handle, like zinger, for example — that's fine, and I will not divulge your personal information to anyone. But I will still need to know who you are because I don't want my game design leaked ahead of time, if I can prevent it. (It won't be a huge deal if it's leaked anyway, because everyone else is too lazy, untalented and incompetent to do anything with it even if they had it, but I still want to try and keep it under wraps for as long as I can.)

As regards the financial issue, there will not be any money changing hands on this project for a very long time. However, money WILL eventually come into the equation — either in the form of a major publisher taking us on and funding our project (the preferred solution, since as every real gamer knows the best games are always funded by the biggest publishers), or of an eventual Kickstarter campaign, or Steam Early Access, or episodic release of the game via Insomnia's online store, with each chapter funding development of the next one. All of this will be discussed in the game's forum at the appropriate time, as will the issue of compensation for the various contributors. The more, and the more valuable, your contributions end up being, the bigger the slice of the pie you will eventually receive.

The big prize though will always be the work itself — making NOW, what is BOUND to be made by someone at some point. Giving a swift kick to the present, and propelling it that little bit faster into the future. Creating art history, and showing the rest of the world how great art is made. With unbounded ambition, and unfettered enthusiasm.