Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy
 
This was forgettable by fabio 08/07/2014, 11:19pm PDT
Like Dues Ex: HR, this was the story about a man wounded in the line of duty and rebuilt as a cyborg by a Steve Jobs stand in, with a scattering of decent points but a story mostly headed by the retarded C team. Imagine DE:HR without the emails! This wasn't so much a Robocop movie as it was Regarding RoboHenry.

The Bill O'Reilly spoofs were Daily Show fan fiction quality satire. OPERATION TEHRAN FREEDOM. Why do people keep casting Sam Jackson in low key autopilot roles?

Michael Keaton as Jobs was the only decent thing in here (but still not as good as the Sarif voice actor in DE:HR).

Robot drones are banned in the U.S., so Robocop is the legal loophole to introduce automated law enforcement in the U.S. Even though he's legal, he has to pass some combat trials, graded by OmniCorp's own employee, before he will be allowed into the U.S. OmniCorp, who wants Robocop to enter the U.S., not only agrees to this pointless test, but is fine with it being ridiculously stacked against Robocop. The entire point of Robocop is to allay fears of an unfeeling machine enforcing order, so the entire aim of the trials is to eliminate human feeling? No drone gets approved for release until it can take on dozens of other drones at once, plus one human soldier, and only the human soldier's hits count? These scenes had one of the only good points that soulless corporate types only care about arbitrary goal numbers, but the entire half hour act made no sense.

The action scenes embody everything wrong with modern action movies. Overly lengthy videogame cutscenes with nothing engaging going on. Not since Halo has dual wielding been made so lame. The movie establishes that the drones have perfect accuracy, yet turn into imperial stormtroopers when pitted against Robotcop in a trial. It reaches such comical heights (dozens of drones firing full auto from ten feet away) that I honestly thought the exercise was using blanks. For some reason, PG-13 means you can't show bullets ricocheting off Robocop (only when it's total darkness!). The entire appeal of the original movie's action scenes was watching hails of gunfire bounce off this ungainly robot before he unloaded with that awesome gun. Now it's just Equilibrium with all the over the top charm sucked out. The only time Robocop can use a real gun on humans is when the lights are turned out. If you ever want the ultimate example of how clueless modern action is, you can point out how the 5 minute action scene of Robocop fighting dozens of drones isn't even a fraction as engaging as the 1 minute scene from the original movie where he takes apart a paper target at the shooting range.

I can't even remember the Clarence Boddicker stand in's name he was such a non-entity. I think he had 50 seconds of total screen time.

While Keaton is good, the chick who plays his junior executive is the worst actress to ever appear on screen since the lawyer from 88 Minutes. Someone should have told her that portraying a soulless corporate suit isn't the same thing as emotionless monotone.

There isn't a single engaging or memorable thing to found here. Maybe it will make some otherwise clueless FOX news fans think for a second? In the same way that The Campaign was a movie for people who had never heard of the Koch brothers? Despite the corporate jabs being the best part of the remake, the sum effort still falls short of the single line "Anyone can buy OCP stock. What could be more democratic than that?"
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The RoboCop remake looks like the worst shit imaginable by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 09/05/2013, 7:32pm PDT NEW
    The satirical element is going to begin and end with Keaton's performance, init? NT by MM 09/05/2013, 7:59pm PDT NEW
        ^ this was the most accurate prediction NT by fabio 08/07/2014, 11:23pm PDT NEW
    Movies that should have been re-released into theaters by Fullofkittens 09/05/2013, 8:45pm PDT NEW
    Yeah, it does. I sense pg-13 NT by Eurotrash 09/05/2013, 10:27pm PDT NEW
        They said that a couple of months ago by Siskel and Ebert 09/05/2013, 11:10pm PDT NEW
            Re: They said that a couple of months ago by E. L. Koba 09/06/2013, 12:47am PDT NEW
                Like HELL the original Robocop wouldn't be rated R now by Eurotrash 09/06/2013, 10:32am PDT NEW
    No way this isn't going to be a steaming pile by fabio 09/06/2013, 12:33am PDT NEW
        Re: No way this isn't going to be a steaming pile by MM 09/06/2013, 5:52am PDT NEW
    Fuck NT by E. L. Koba 09/06/2013, 12:46am PDT NEW
    Might be good by Vested Id 09/06/2013, 12:56am PDT NEW
        Re: Might be good by Mischief Mandarin 09/06/2013, 7:10pm PDT NEW
            You said what I was getting at in your other comment up there by Vested Id 09/07/2013, 12:14am PDT NEW
                I was being sarcastic. NT by MM 09/07/2013, 6:30am PDT NEW
                What? The Tron sequel? by Eurotrash 09/08/2013, 4:05am PDT NEW
        Re: Might be good by Eurotrash 09/06/2013, 11:04pm PDT NEW
            Me: "Sam Jackson needs to be in way fewer movies." by Fullofkittens 09/07/2013, 7:07am PDT NEW
                Why do you think his full name is "Samuel L 'Motherfucking' Jackson"? NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 06/01/2014, 4:28pm PDT NEW
    The planned February release confirmed shitpile status a while ago by Bodybag 09/07/2013, 2:39pm PDT NEW
        Get back on Skype NT by fabio 09/07/2013, 2:52pm PDT NEW
    Re: The RoboCop remake looks like the worst shit imaginable by Mysterio 09/14/2013, 2:30pm PDT NEW
    Here's a script that could redeem that trailer by Mischief Maker 09/14/2013, 6:20pm PDT NEW
    The Remake will be nothing compared to the original Robocop 2: pure shit NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 10/15/2013, 3:13pm PDT NEW
        go fuck yourself NT by go fuck yourself 10/15/2013, 5:49pm PDT NEW
            go fuck yourself by Dick Cheney 10/15/2013, 6:49pm PDT NEW
    Hahaha, oh man, I hope you guys enjoy being wrong. And awesome RoboCop remakes. NT by Jerry Whorebach 05/13/2014, 11:20pm PDT NEW
        FAGGOT by FAGGOT 05/14/2014, 11:19am PDT NEW
            That was the most consistent post I've seen in a year. NT by Mr. Kool 05/14/2014, 8:43pm PDT NEW
        Robocop Remake is excellent. by Gutsby 06/03/2014, 3:04pm PDT NEW
            The old RoboCop needed a human brain, the new one just needed a pretty face... by ...the brain was a liability. 06/03/2014, 5:08pm PDT NEW
                "There were... A FEW... flipper babies." by Fullofkittens 06/03/2014, 6:17pm PDT NEW
    I liked it. NT by Shredder 06/03/2014, 9:20pm PDT NEW
        So who hated it NT by Vested Id 06/03/2014, 9:36pm PDT NEW
    This was forgettable by fabio 08/07/2014, 11:19pm PDT NEW
        Wow! I guess I laughed a lot more than you did. by Jerry Whorebach 08/08/2014, 1:15am PDT NEW
            The brilliant thing about this movie is how every part of it defeats itself. by Jerry Whorebach 08/08/2014, 1:46am PDT NEW
        Hey, this was good!... ish. by blackwater 08/14/2014, 11:25pm PDT NEW
            They hamfistedly established with the amputee musician that strong emotion by interferes with bionic controls. 08/15/2014, 12:19am PDT NEW
                Again underscoring Murphy's lack of agency - it was a confluence of the Dr.'s NT by shoddy tech and CEO's rushed releas 08/15/2014, 12:23am PDT NEW
    Finally saw it. by Mischief Maker 06/13/2015, 8:16pm PDT NEW
    Finally watched it also by Eurotrash 09/12/2015, 6:23am PDT NEW
        It was one of the most non-engaging movies I've seen in years by fabio 09/12/2015, 10:49pm PDT NEW
            Every superhero movie would be better without any superheroes in it. by Look at Wonder Boys! 09/13/2015, 12:49am PDT NEW
                WARNING the above contains spoilers for FF #236, The Matrix, and unless I'm NT by explicitly contradicted Wonder Boys 09/13/2015, 12:57am PDT NEW
            Guardians of the Galaxys is bad? Huh? NT by I hate Caltrops 08/16/2018, 3:43pm PDT NEW
    The cast of Robocop doesn't know what The Oregon Trail is by I hate Caltrops 08/16/2018, 3:44pm PDT NEW
    Did anyone ever post the Harmontown ED-209 improv? by John Smith 11/22/2021, 9:27am PST NEW
 
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