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| Prey is the most Star Trek: Voyager game I ever played. by Jerry Whorebach 08/20/2014, 9:44pm PDT | ||||
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| And that includes the official Star Trek: Voyager game by Raven Software, which didn't EVEN have any pseudo-mystical Native American bullshit in it! And just like Star Trek: Voyager, there's something pathetically comforting about the regressive nerdy blandness of Prey, which is probably why I spent my thirtieth birthday finally finishing it on the unlockable and culturally sensitive Grand Cherokee difficulty.
As far as I could tell, the only difference on Cherokee was they removed all the healing items, while leaving your death walk ability untouched. So instead of backtracking to find a Nali healing fruit after every firefight, you just move on to the next set of baddies, die, spend a minute shooting down transporter phantoms in the lands of your ancestors (the first-person hunting/wolf-attack minigame from the original '79 microcomputer version of Oregon Trail*), then resume the battle exactly where you left off. I can't believe they went to the trouble of implementing two entirely separate difficulty settings for this game and they're both equally fucking pointless. *Looking for video online taught me the first-person hunting minigame was excised from subsequent graphical versions of Oregon Trail, apparently because blasting wolves in first-person was too obviously fun to be educational. They ditched the bandit attacks, too. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME I GREW UP IN THE STONE AGE, MECC :( 
Did the later versions still let you decide how many wives you wanted to buy? Tommy Hawk is the most realistic protagonist in video game history, because all his one-liners sound exactly like something a real person would come up with if they were scared shitless inside a giant alien digestive system, and his APTN-famous voice actor delivers them with precisely the right lack of conviction. (APTN-famous is something I'm trying to make happen. It refers to guys like Adam Beach who are king shit of fuck mountain on APTN, but can still walk down the street completely - maybe even mystically? - invisible to white people.) Also, Art Bell is the most realistic supporting character in video game history, because he tells it like it is. Prey really has a lot going for it if you can overlook the gameplay and graphics and stuff. |
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