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| double and triple fuck this movie by fabio 07/10/2015, 10:33pm PDT | ||||
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| The opening is a straight up rip off of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Did Indiana Jones dance around to Jimmy Buffet music while booting and strangling the local Spider Monkeys for kicks? This is how the movie tells us the protagonist is a "lovable scoundrel". 2 minutes later, they remind us of this by having him not remember a one night stand's name and telling her he thought he kicked her out already. Less than five minutes into the movie and I already hate it: sappy cancer scene, blatant lifting from better movies, obnoxious soundtrack of shitty music, (cgi) animal cruelty for laughs, and humiliation porn for the BangBus crowd.
Then there's 2 other major action movie peeves: This movie has no balls. The heroes use nothing but non lethal weapons and have shootouts with taser guns, except when they're shooting robots. Lethal guns always miss, except when shot at robots or invulnerable treants. Can't they even show Star Wars PG level blaster deaths? The fucking 80s G.I. Joe movie, based on the series that started the trope of insisting that they show everyone not get killed, wasn't this afraid to show violence. 100 pound super model spin kicking 200 pound MMA fighters through plate glass. The characters get thrown into space prison, mostly so they can rip off the prison escape from Chronicles of Riddick. Why a movie with no balls decided to try and show a hardcore prison full of psychopaths I have no idea. They take extra effort to show that the inmates have no sexual interest in the green chick; they don't want to rape her, only slit her throat so it's cool and kid-friendly ^_^. Call me crazy, but is it really less misogynist to portray hardened prison inmates as just a touch rapey when a hot woman is thrown into general population than it is to make the "lovable" protagonist's endearing character trait that he treats women like shit? The movie can't go 15 minutes without reminding us that he's fucked lots of women (he's got the cum stains all over his ship to prove it!) and they all hate him for treating them like shit afterwards. Objectively you could say this is a better action movie than Transformers, but it pissed me off way way more. |
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Guardians of the Galaxy by 07/10/2015, 4:02am PDT  There's no such thing as a Pulp Fiction reference, because everything in that NT by 07/10/2015, 4:33am PDT double and triple fuck this movie by 07/10/2015, 10:33pm PDT "is it really MORE misogynist" NT by 07/10/2015, 10:36pm PDT She has super human strength because she's alien and this is a comic book. NT by 07/11/2015, 7:22pm PDT Just saw this and the sequel. The main character is NOT supposed to be lovable. by 04/15/2018, 11:35pm PDT But the sequel is just rehashing inter-personal conflict from the first one NT by 04/16/2018, 6:24pm PDT They defeat the villain with a Care Bare stare NT by 07/11/2015, 6:55pm PDT Re: Guardians of the Galaxy by 04/16/2018, 8:45pm PDT |
