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by fabio 12/17/2015, 10:07am PST |
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On a haunted house binge after The Others, I stumbled across the same damn movie 3 times in a row: Haunted, The Awakening, and Red Lights.
Haunted- A 1920s British paranormal debunker debunks a supernatural hoax followed by an offer to travel and debunk his greatest challenge yet! One big bonus is one of Kate Beckinsale's only full nude roles before the stretch marks. Loses major points for a third act that borders on "it was all a dream".
The Awakening- A 1920s British paranormal debunker debunks a supernatural hoax followed by an offer to travel and debunk her greatest challenge yet! The best of the three for being more subdued and not going full retard, reminiscent of The Orphanage. You get to see Vicky Barcelona's tits. Losers a couple points for ghosts looking like cheap youtube jump scares.
Red Lights- A modern paranormal debunker debunks a supernatural hoax followed by an offer to travel and debunk her greatest challenge yet! Well, they don't actually show her debunk the opening hoax. She just leaves then they cut to her in a lecture hall explaining common sleight of hand techniques relating to the hoax. Tell, don't show, and then tell some more. In a further bid for originality, they ditch the haunted house setting for evil spirit TED Talks? This movie is obsessed with lecture halls. Sigourney Weaver plays a university professor teaching an entire course on bogus psychics, saying lines that no woman academic would say ("and watch the table legs fly up like a schoolgirl's dress") in a setting that would shitcan or heavily reprimand her for saying it during a lecture. She has a rivalry with another paranormal physics department for funding? This is so fucking retarded it makes How to Get Away with Murder seem smart. Robert De Niro reaffirms what a joke his career became after Analyze This. |
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