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by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 03/31/2016, 5:56pm PDT |
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This is one of the stories about Tam O'Shanter, a "businessman" who'll get into any legal scam as long as he can make a profit and can't go to jail.
Window: 6th Street Church of God, Inc. Rev, Tam O'Shanter, Pastor
Man (off camera): Reverend O'Shanter, I understand this is one of the few churches that will solemnize a gay marriage.
Tam O'Shanter (off camera): Yes, my son. We also do rites for people who have chosen to live together but are not quite sure if they should make the full commitment. We even have the appropriate certificates for the purpose:
________________ ______________________
Man Woman
[ ] Were united in holy matrimony
[ ] Are shacked up and living in sin
[ ] _________________ _______________________
Man Man
[ ] _________________ _______________________
Woman Woman
Are living in a perverted, unholy and Godless arrangement, leading to eternal damnation
Tam (all dialog between Tam and the visitor continue off camera): Now, that is part of the $100 ceremony.
Man: This is really offensive.
Tam: True, but it allows the religious bigots to feel superior.
Man: I see.
Tam: We also have this one, which is the same except it doesn't indicate sex and the bottom boxes are different
[ ] Were united in holy matrimony
[ ] Have agreed to live together as proof of their love and commitment which may or may not lead to marriage
[ ] Are a couple of gays/lesbians who unfortunately must live with their inability to be normal
Tam: That one is part of the $150 ceremony.
Man: It's hardly better.
Tam: Or this one, as part of the $200 ceremony, which just has this box at the bottom
[ ] Have chosen to express their love and commitment, secure in the knowledge that God loves them,
and as Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn thee." - John 8:11
Man: I like this one. When can you schedule the ceremony?
Tam: How about tomorrow? What's the lucky guy's name?
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