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by fabio 12/18/2016, 2:11am PST |
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Rafiki wrote:
10:58 AM - Me: chillax sista you're hella paranoid
10:58 AM - Me: fo shizzy
10:59 AM - Me: video game writers shouldn't be allowed to write dialogue for teenagers
It quickly became something amusing to make fun of, unlike...
11:34 AM - Friend: meanwhile i saw one of the best pieces of game writing ever when i made a huge mistake and started up ff13-2
11:35 AM - Friend: like in the first actual area where you can explore, one of the two main characters seriously says something like "if we learn more about it we'll know more" about some meteorite
Completely pointless and worthless Final Fantasy plot, the worst writing this side of Blizzard.
It's fair to say it's overly quirky and potentially annoying, but I'll take that over programmers cramming endless Monty Python and Hitchhiker's GttG references into older adventure games.
This game is brimming with interactive things to look at that serve no functional purpose other than to pad out the time played. Then there's things that seem like they might be relevant but aren't, like walking around Chloe's house turning on all the lights and TVs and unlocking doors and leaving them wide open. Will other characters acknowledge this with consequences? Nope!
WHAT IS YOUR FUNCATION, HOO-NAM?
This problem extends to shooters. Sometimes I shoot or explode something and a random background object goes flying. What is this irrelevant bullshit?! More relevant in games, action scientists!
Then there's the adventure game staple of retarded puzzles. Oh shit, I was trying to get a case of precision screwdrivers and they fell under a shelf. I can't just squat down and reach under the shelf because....my....degenerative bone disease.....I have to rewind time and slide some cardboard underneath so they'll land on that and I can slide it back out. Later I have to wander around a junk yard and find 5 bottles hidden in plain sight, only I have to move a board to reach one. Such thrills!
Figuring out a logical way to use items at hand and Prince of Persia time powers to retrieve screws is still better than 99% of adventure game puzzles.
I can take photos and I get achievements, but is there a payoff other than filling up my diary?
Optional minigames? Why I never! RELEVANT ONLY PLZ *beep* *boop* *beep*
I get text messages, but who gives a shit? Are they ever relevant? I get threatened by a kid and his dad via traceable text message, but I'm careful to never ever bring it up to anyone ever.
>OPEN MAILBOX
The mailbox is open.
>LOOK MAILBOX
There is something relevant inside.
>TAKE RELEVANT
There is no relevant here.
>FUCK THIS GAME
I don't understand 'fuck'
I can have Solid Snake call people and have crazy conversations, but who gives a shit? Is this relevant to cardboard boxes? And who EVEN enjoyed reading emails in Deus Ex?
This is such a step back after playing Dropsy.
This is probably being too mean, but is Dropy's appeal in playing an autistic teaching everyone the beauty of simple joys? What if Dropsy had a quest on how to enjoy optional background story and instead of an achievement, the game gave you a HUG?
Besides Dropsy, what exactly are we comparing Life is Strange to in terms of competition? Why are you playing adventure games?
Here are a list of adventure games I would choose to replay Life is Strange over ever touching again:
-Every single thing that has slithered out of Telltale's asshole since The Walking Dead.
-The hot art student chick protagonist of The Longest Journey endlessly complaining how she can't get laid.
-The ridiculous pixel hunting and alien crane game of The Dig
-Grinding out insults for insult duels in Monkey Island
-Fran Bow's missing the entire point of the Silent Hill dark world
-Primordia, trying to recreate old adventure games like Beneath a Steel Sky, but just being fucking dull.
-Gemini Rue's forgetting that you still need to make the audience care when you go with an in medias res opening.
-Motherfucking Oxenfree, which of course made Tom Chick's game of the year list. What if Life is Strange was made up of nothing but the conversations with ugly retro sprites and there was nothing to do but press "forward" on a linear path with platforming that made the wall climbing of Twilight Princess seem fast paced? |
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