Forum Overview :: Rants

Some people don't like some stand up comedians! by Creexul :( 06/19/2006, 11:15am PDT Stolen from my own livejournal full of musingly musing musings like I am some kind of Gil Grissom where I'M ON THE CASE AND HM WHAT ABOUT THIS? LET'S RUN AN EXPERIMENT 8( It seems like a bunch of stand up comedians these days really resent Dane Cook, especially now that he is banging howars like Jessica Simpson who comes to his show and laughs 90 times louder than everyone else in the place. And this is most likely related to most of Dane Cook's fame coming from women getting his album and going to his shows not because they think he's funny but because they think he's hot, much in the same way wimin liked The Who not because of their music but because of the CRAZY clothes they wore on stage, because women are just big phonies and can't appreciate something of value until like 10 or 20 years later when some gay magazine talks about how THIS ALBUM HAD A VERY IMPORTANT IMPACT ON MUSIC (EDDIE VEDDER'S LYRICS SENDS CHILLS DOWN OUR SPINE, HE'S SO MEANINGFUL BLAH BLAH BLAH GAY SHIT). And having women think you're funny doesn't mean much, since women probably think that woman stand up comics are funny too, and they never are. Louis CK got an HBO show deal after his One Night Stand special. The 50 women on the following One Night Stand episodes didn't. Coincidence? Maybe, because it's hard to make a 30 minute show about leaving toilet seats up or talking about your ex-husband like you mistook a comedy club for an Oprah's book club meeting. Well I guess you can make a show like that. A billion of them even. What I am really saying is that if you know any girl who says she likes Dane Cook, feel free to make fun of her for being a woman. It's basically the same thing as the GRRL'Z NIGHT IN VEGAS where they drink jello shooters from condoms with penis-shaped straws and other retarded shit like that thinking they can be JUST LIKE THE GUYS, while carrying tiny pets around like fashion accessories and then getting AIDS and dying ha ha HA. Having the biggest selling comedy album of many many many years doesn't mean Dane Cook is the funniest comedian ever. There are plenty of great stand up comedians out there who aren't selling nearly as much. They just aren't hot like Dane Cook. GET IT??????????? I note a connection between those two things. I am not complaining though because I think Dane Cook is hilarious and deserves it. However, it's probably going to completely destroy his act and he may not be able to be funny anymore. He's definitely not going to be able to make jokes exploring the mysterious question of whether Jessica Simpson is more annoying than she is dumb or what. Or her annoying dumbass sister Ashlee. Can you imagine how much it would suck to not be able to make fun of Ashlee Simpson? No one even wants to anymore because no one gives a shit, they've moved on to hoping she just goes away forever. I'm sure you'd want to make fun of her if you couldn't though. What I'm saying is Dane Cook has become Jimmy Fallon. Except funny. :( I figured that some other stand up comedian would've been jealousfully bitching about Dane Cook somewhere on their blog or myspace page, but some google searching didn't come up with anything. I dunno, maybe their myspace entries about him are PRIVATE. ~_____________~ HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME, I MADE FIVE MISTAKES Fussbett (3:37:06 AM): David Cross had a small Dane Cook diss during his open letter to Larry the Cable Guy. Juh-howh Cable (3:37:20 AM): Zing. :( Juh-howh Cable (3:37:23 AM): Where was that again? ~________~ Fussbett (3:37:24 AM): But I've heard comedians hate him too. They call him a joke stealer. Juh-howh Cable (3:37:39 AM): I'm pretty sure Doug Stanhope doesn't like him. Fussbett (3:37:45 AM): And then Dice Clay said THIS IS LIKE WHEN I GOT HUGE AND EVERYONE HATED ME. Fussbett (3:37:54 AM): Ugh, Doug Stanhope is the worst. Juh-howh Cable (3:38:02 AM): DAT DAT Fussbett (3:38:17 AM): DAT DERE IS LIKE DUH TIME... MUH! Fussbett (3:38:46 AM): HE'S A BUTTSLAMMING CUM GUZZLING COCK SUCKING FAGGOT-TUH! Juh-howh Cable (3:38:48 AM): Has Da Dice been on Howard Stern again recently? Fussbett (3:38:56 AM): OH I MEAN BUH-LIND! Fussbett (3:39:10 AM): Yeah, just this week. Fussbett (3:39:17 AM): Maybe the 14th? Juh-howh Cable (3:40:25 AM): Hahaha. Juh-howh Cable (3:40:47 AM): Hey I hear Joe Rogan hates Carlos Mencia. Juh-howh Cable (3:40:58 AM): And trying to out him on Carlos Mencia not even being his real name. Fussbett (3:41:22 AM): Yeah, comedian hate him too... Especially That Mexican comedian. Fussbett (3:41:29 AM): Paul Rodriguez, I believe. Juh-howh Cable (3:41:48 AM): Carlos "The Jackal." Fussbett (3:41:49 AM): Accusing Mencia of being half German, half Puerto Rican and shit. Juh-howh Cable (3:41:50 AM): Or something. Juh-howh Cable (3:41:58 AM): Half Ecuadorian and half German. Fussbett (3:42:04 AM): Sure Fussbett (3:42:10 AM): Plus joke stealing, as usual. Fussbett (3:42:20 AM): The stolen joke is horrible too. Juh-howh Cable (3:42:26 AM): http://www.joerogan.net/main.php?archives=1&article=44170 Fussbett (3:42:27 AM): Both should be ashamed to have said it. Fussbett (3:42:52 AM): Something about a burrito having sex with soem other mexican dish... and then a chalupa is born. Juh-howh Cable (3:43:04 AM): He sells himself as being mexican, but the reality is his real name is Ned Holness, and he's actually half German and half Honduran. Juh-howh Cable (3:43:18 AM): I was close. ~_~ Juh-howh Cable (3:43:37 AM): Here's some more audio, this time of George Lopez from the Stern show yesterday talking about what a thief "Carlos" is Fussbett (3:45:12 AM): Oh yeah George Lopez, not Paul Rodriguez. Juh-howh Cable (3:45:16 AM): Wutev. Fussbett (3:45:24 AM): Oh of the TWO possible mexican comedians, I guessed the wrong one. Fussbett (3:56:07 AM): http://www.howardstern.com/rundown.hs?month=June&day=14&year=2006&x=43&y=6 Juh-howh Cable (3:59:06 AM): Cool fist logo for Stern's site. Juh-howh Cable (3:59:09 AM): He's fighting the powers that BE Fussbett (4:10:25 AM): Why is Dice wearing fingerless weightlifting gloves all the time? Juh-howh Cable (4:11:32 AM): I just don't know. :(

Some people don't like some stand up comedians! by Creexul :( 06/19/2006, 11:15am PDT