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| Other ways to commit career suicide. by Jhoh Cable o_O 03/28/2007, 3:53pm PDT | ||||
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| Be Tom Cruise.
Be Dakota Fanning. Be in a movie with Dakota Fanning or Tom Cruise especially if you ARE either of them. Be in a movie with at least Dakota Fanning. Baldwin anything. This includes even being seen with whoever that psycho is that Alec Baldwin married. I can't remember her name and I'm not even going to look it up even though I could just type in LA Confidential into IMDB. For the sake of clarity I'll just call her Sharon Stone (same rules apply). Mel Gibson (just Mel Gibson). Pay It Forward. Reveal in your "fast food is bad" movie that you and/or your girlfriend are vegan, deservedly destroying your credibility and your life. Your career can only be revived for 10 seconds when you die from some vegan lifestyle based health problem and people laugh about it. Star in a movie with a main character whos first name is Bo. Hahaha Bo. Meth. Be a cast member of Lost who drives drunk (career ends on character death). "Drunk" in this case does not involve guzzling a friend's piss as Evangelinsdfsd Lily (or Kitsune from QT3) has done. I guess it doesn't involve giant cumgut inducing sprays of jizz either which I'm sure she's also had some part of. This means that Kitsune could be a cast member of Lost and not be written out. Scientology. Even Jennifer Lopez turned it down, and she sucks. Being in Date Movie or Epic Movie or Boring Movie or whatever they're coming out with next that has parodies consisting of a scene directly ripped off from a popular movie a year earlier played completely straight with no actual parody or satire content. Catwoman. Unless they come out with a Catwoman movie with Halle Berry where she goes from nerdy to fuckin cocksuckin jizz gargling hooker, and that's like her special catwoman power, also there would be a 10 minute scene of her masturbating. Oh yeah and she's mute so she can't kill any boners by screaming MAKE ME FEEL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD and just reducing what should be really hot to a bunch of people saying "what is wrong with Halle Berry (the person)?" And Nicolas Cage would respond by saying "my first guess would be......... a lot. 8(" Also his career is basically over as well although somehow there seems to be the possibility of him being in a good movie in the future. How'd it get burned? Either be Sean Penn or star in a movie with Sean Penn. Marrying Sean Penn and getting the holy dog shit beaten out of you by him when he's on a roid rage (or cocaine, I'm not sure so I won't pretend to know because that would be wrong of me) probably won't affect your career but it probably won't help either. Write, make, or star in a movie about how the death penalty is bad. Everyone knows the death penalty is totally awesome. I used to not think the death penalty is awesome, but The Chamber (the book and the movie) has made me question myself. If those things try to say that death penalties are bad, then maybe they aren't. Bruckheimer. Dane Cook and/or Jessica Simpson. "Carlos Mencia." And finally, be involved in any way with Aaron "like animu but live action and without violence and nudity" Sorkin. If you are involved in any of these things, you really deserve what's coming to you. |
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If the Flaming Lips had a career, it would be over now. by 03/28/2007, 2:03pm PDT  Other ways to commit career suicide. by 03/28/2007, 3:53pm PDT You can't kill the undead. by 03/29/2007, 2:43am PDT Re: Other ways to commit career suicide. by 03/29/2007, 4:06am PDT |
