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| Indie rock: awful because no niggers? by Zseni 10/16/2007, 7:29pm PDT | ||||
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| This article promises much innate comedy: New Yorker, Firey Furnaces, Fab 5 Freddie, and of course it can't fucking shut up about the Beatles and the Stones. The laffs don't stop there! Baroque touches, like:
But, in the thirty years since hip-hop became widely available, there have been only three genuinely popular white rap acts: the Beastie Boys, whose biggestselling album sold to kids who were more taken with the Led Zeppelin samples and the lewd jokes than with the rap music; Vanilla Ice, an anomaly who owes much of his success to his vertical hair and the decision to rap (in “Ice Ice Baby”) over “Under Pressure,” a song by David Bowie and Queen that has proved immune to destruction; and Eminem, the exception who proves the rule. ONE SENTENCE! Featuring two tautologies and one delightful paradox. And now nigras have been more effectively isolated than ever: they get to sing about booty or rap about how fucking great they are, and that's it. White people, as usual, get to plunder both domains freely, but their sacred white temples - indie rock, alt-rock, adult contemporary, etc. - are not to be touched! AND WHO WOULD WANT TO TOUCH THEM? Let's shove aside all the cultural muckety muck and ask ourselves: no, seriously, does indie music suck because there are no niggers in it? Consider the last tragic Black Monday of white pop: Hootie And The Blowfish. There are measurably more niggers involved in metal than in indie rock, even though there were no black Vikings. (Even though lots of black people have unpleasant childhoods.) But more importantly, the author totally ignores that nigras have been getting kicked off whitey radio since time began. Elvis got popular playing nigra music because 1. it's good and 2. he's white. White people adopted and sanitized black music for a white audience right up till MTV, at which point Michael Jackson basically said "put nigger music on or I'm AUDI" to MTV, and that's when MTV allowed niggers on the air. The miscegenation that Sacha is so hot for still occurs with breakneck frequency out on the edge of the dance/electronic scenes, but rather than follow the battle to where it's being fought, she (he?) puddles about his (her?) loft wondering why rock is so BORING now and why there's no black dick on the party scene. |
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