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Bangai-O Spiwwits (DS) by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/08/2008, 1:44pm PDT
some dude, whoever does the action buttan site wrote:

I hope you guys had fun reading this website, because I’m probably not going to bother writing on it anymore!


So I asked craet, who says he knows this guy (psh whatever), and he says that the game is indeed good.

So I finished it in about 10 minutes, and I was like that was fun. You're a tiny tiny mech, you fly around a single screen that is populated by tiny obstacles and some enemies. At first the enemies just stand there, or are stationary objects, and later they'll be spraying missiles at you. You collect fruits to charge up special attacks, like there's one that freezes time, and one that sprays about a hundred missiles that can block all incoming fire and destroy enemies. So you do that about 15 times, and then the credits roll.

Since the game is in Japanese, I have to assume that it features a bunch of extra shit, like making your own levels and sharing them with people either over a local wifi or internet wifi, I don't know, IT'S ALL IN JAPANESE. I assume there were some other "skills" in the game I haven't even learned yet. I didn't notice that L and R do super attacks until a mission that I think required it maybe. Each stage/screen is prefaced by an incredibly long chat session with apparently some older dude doctor(?) and a couple of young teens. They seem to have nothing to do with the game.

this guy again wrote:

The reason would be Treasure’s Bangai-O Spirits, a game so perfect and so deep that when it comes right down to the wire, I’d probably rather be sealed in a sensory deprivation tank playing it against my best friend for millenia than working, vacationing in the Bahamas, or even having pseudo-violent sex. That’s the sign of a good game, right there — if you’d willingly give up an opportunity to let a girl live out her fantasy to rape a man just so that you could deflect projectiles for a couple more hours. I get this feeling, playing this game — if I keep deflecting projectiles, eventually I’ll be so good at deflecting projectiles that I won’t even need to close my eyes or tense my knees to ejaculate. I will simply be. I will flow.


I didn't know you could make a review site based entirely off the concept of writing penny arcade blog entries, right down to use of italics for SO DEEP abstract concepts, when it's clearly all about bold these days if you're really hip and with it. Good job [person] whoever you are, it says your name up there somewhere WELL WHATEVER let's move on. ^_______________________^

I'm not sure what the spirits are in this game either, aside from maybe the unmentioned holiday spirit, like Andrew Dice Clay when he's like why do we gotta go see a big fawkin tree when we can watch it on TV? And someone will say like a baby, BECAUSE IT'S THE HOLIDAY......... SPIWWIIIIIIIIIT. And so he'll say SHUT YOUR FUCKIN HOLE AND GET ME DINNA YOU DUMB FUCKIN DUNCE. That's the impression I get from playing this game anyway, with the shooting and sword slashing through tiny balls that are obstructing your path.

So anyway yeah, the game is like one of those games that's comprised entirely of single screen mini games, where this one is 100% twitch get blasting as soon as you start and do things.

The reason why I might keep this on my DS forever is that it's only 8 megs, the smallest DS game I've ever seen. My previous smallest was 16 megs for what was apparently just a demo of a game, that Metroid Prime Hunters thing which was supposed to be some kind of local wifi deathmatch with Samuses or something.

a dude wrote:

In addition to teaching you how to use weapons, the commander also manages to enrage the cool youth: as the tutorials get more complicated and wordy, toward the end, the kid literally says that he didn’t realize he signed up for “an actual robot anime” — he just thought the robot and the anime characters on the box were there to draw in anime fans. The professor then gets defensive, insinuating that the end of Evangelion was “the best part”. Not making this up! When you beat the tutorial, the commander says, “We’ve defeated the Tutorial Army!” And the kid says, “That was fast. If we sell this game back now, do you think we can get at least 3,500 yen for it?”


I remember this, thinking I could just hit start to skip all this stuff, which appears to be a language, made up entirely of squiggles (THAT AIN'T NO LANGUAGE TO ME, I'M AN AMURRRRRRRRICAN).

who wrote:

The professor — and the girl — are quick to point out that the game has over 160 stages in the “Free play” mode, and that you can edit your own stages and play multiplayer, if you want. The kid shrugs this off, says that “stage-editing is for losers”.

And just like that — you’ll never see those three anime stereotypes again.


Okay I guess I didn't finish the game yet. But I think I got the gist of it. This guy's review goes into more detail of what the game is like. He also goes into a LOT of detail about other things until I instinctively close the page on accident realizing that I was going to try to read more to see if there's other shit about the game that I didn't find out yet. Oh well I guess that's the end okay bye.
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Bangai-O Spiwwits (DS) by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/08/2008, 1:44pm PDT NEW
 
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