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by Jerry Whorebach 11/22/2008, 5:15pm PST |
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I was on kind of a lot of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds at the time (possibly still not enough?), and I heard that taking too many of them would kill you, so I that's what I did. I swallowed a month's supply of each and made my way down to the river. Once there, I kicked back, smoked some cubans, and waited to die. Now, in hindsight, it would be easy for you to say that I should have gone into the river to make sure, but I don't believe I was thinking too clearly at the time, so I just waited. And waited... and waited...
Hours passed, and the sun started to come up, and not only was I not dead, I wasn't even unconscious. As you can imagine, I was pretty frustrated and perplexed. So I went down to my psychiatrist's office and asked him what the fuck was up with these shitty unregulated Canadian drugs he's been prescribing, that they don't EVEN work. That's when he explained that they totally would kill me as advertised, but they'd do it by causing my kidneys to shut down, which is a long and agonizing process and not at all what I signed up for. I told him they should probably put that on the warning label and he excused himself and called the paramedics.
Long story short, I ended up spending a few days in hospital hooked up to a big bore IV needle, getting my kidneys flushed out. One of the nurses told me that everyone with an IV was supposed to wear an IV gown, but in my case, they'd make an exception. I could tell that was a crack about my bum but I kept my mouth shut because I really do look better in pants. That was a long time ago, though, like late September, and I figure that if there were any long-term effects they would've shown up by now. I guess that means I'm in the clear? |
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SMOKERRRRRRRRRRS!!!!! by Entropy Stew 11/21/2008, 11:18pm PST 
HEAT SEAKING CONCRETE NT by Rafiki 11/22/2008, 12:22am PST
SEEKING TOO NT by Rafiki 11/22/2008, 12:23am PST
We should probably get an achievement for dragging BombMexico through DeadAir NT by Fortinbras 11/22/2008, 11:37am PST
REVIEW: Left 4 Dead by bombMexico 11/22/2008, 4:28pm PST
I tried to kill myself once, not over Left 4 Dead tho by Jerry Whorebach 11/22/2008, 5:15pm PST
tl;dr 888 shitposters local 888 I didn't read SHIT NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 11/22/2008, 5:38pm PST
fag NT by Worm 11/22/2008, 5:45pm PST
how's my posting call 1-800-SHACKTOWN NT by gruman 11/22/2008, 5:45pm PST
why didn't you read that really good post? NT by Concerned 11/22/2008, 6:57pm PST
gruma, you are not getting the "full caltrops" NT by Extra concerned 11/22/2008, 7:24pm PST
He's not going into overdrift. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 11/22/2008, 9:27pm PST
the D dimension is just totally beyond me NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 11/22/2008, 9:59pm PST
Imagine Jsoh not reading a suicide post! Mention the SNES for him next time. by Fussbett 12/11/2008, 9:16am PST
Wait'll your friend sees "Lost in Translation!" NT by Mischief Maker 12/11/2008, 9:35am PST
It's taking bom long enough to reveal he's playing on a dialup. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 11/22/2008, 9:29pm PST
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