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Carcassone (XBLA) by Jerry Whorebach 12/17/2007, 6:08pm PST
Carcassone! is a German boardgame about the French. As you might expect, it's not especially flattering. You play a smelly Frenchman and your opponents are a fat guy and a bitch in a stupid hat. The core game is like dominos, but instead of numbers each domino has a lovely pastoral setting painted on it. You match up fields to fields, clearings to clearings, and roads to roads. The object is to humiliate yourself by placing tiny farmers where you think they would be happiest and marching them off to church whenever someone rings the bell.

Strategy comes into play when someone is trying to build a barn but you won't stop ringing the church bell. If there is a hobo on a nearby road he may try to live in their half-finished barn. There's not much anyone can do about it if he does. You get points for accomplishing feats, like building the most modern road or convincing the travelling carnival to stay in your clearing the longest. You lose points for suffering shames, like if one of your bridges collapses in disrepair or one of your farmers marries a pig. There's a river but it's too shallow to drown in.

The Bottom Lion: I think a better name for Carcassone! would have been Gayball, it's pretty descriptive and you wouldn't sound like such a fruit if you ever have to say it out loud. I give it one "paw" out of "roar."
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Carcassone (XBLA) by Jerry Whorebach 12/17/2007, 6:08pm PST NEW
    So basically it's an indictment of DeGaullist domestic policy by Fortinbras 12/17/2007, 6:25pm PST NEW
    Any points for harboring gnostic secs from bloodthirsty deceitful inquisitors? NT by Mysterio 12/17/2007, 6:25pm PST NEW
        No, is this something from Babylon 5? NT by Jerry Whorebach 12/17/2007, 9:43pm PST NEW
            Yes, the episode where the Huguenots came to the station NT by Fortinbras 12/17/2007, 9:47pm PST NEW
 
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