The Typing Contest

Ray of Light 12/13/2008 

Editor's Note: It began with an innocent question.

Ray: does sassy type faster than you
Creexul: I dunno. :(
Creexul: No, I guess.
Ray: she types pretty fast but then I saw how long your mmo concept was and concluded you must type fast too
Ray: we were going to play mavis beacon head to head when she came here but never did
Creexul: I doubt she types really fast.
Ray: I've heard her type (but not seen it). Surprisingly fast.
Creexul: For a wastoid I guess.
Creexul: I could outtype her any day of the weak.
Creexul: I'm sure I would destroy her in a typing competition.
Creexul: Literally destroy her, as in she would be so emotionally devistated by it that she would just sort of explode and splatter across a wall.
Sassy: wow :-(
Sassy: okay i'll have a typing competition with him
Sassy: i could kick his little faggot ass any day of the week ~_~

Editor's Note: Although the contest was between Creexul and Sassy, the contest was open to all. A three-minute typing test from Finland, the land of typing, was used. Caltrops contributors had 24 hours to respond. We fast-forward to the results!

Exhibatory Match: Entropy Stew vs. Ray of Light "Cheater Division"

I was pleasantly surprised to receive an entry here.

Due to a bug in the applet, if you type all of the sample text in under a second and click next, your speed is incorrectly recorded as 0 (zero). The key to my winning result was AutoIt v2 and careful timing to secure a click between the 1st and 2nd seconds. I also added an error to make the results more believable.

In fairness to Stew, I must disclose that I am an official of the match and knew his result before I attempted mine. Fortunately for me, I judged this to be "in bounds" for the cheater division.


- Gross Speed: 10392 WPM
- Errors: 0
- Accuracy: 100%

- NET SPEED: 10392 WPM


- Gross Speed: 20880 WPM
- Errors: 1
- Accuracy: 0%

- NET SPEED: 20820 WPM

Exhibatory Victor: Ray

Undercard Match: Ice Cream Jonesy vs. I need clarification "I-verb-noun Division"

Contributory "God of War" writer INC brings his game to ICJ, a veteran of Interactive fiction.

Have modern development tools made the "new school" soft? Two acclaimed writers square off in this clash between epochs.


- Gross Speed: 77 WPM
- Errors: 30
- Accuracy: 87%

Sassy: you were actually serious about the typing test?
Ray: I don't joke about typing tests.
Ray: So far the only submission is from INC, at 67wpm.
Sassy: hahaha woah seriously?
Sassy: that is so low
Sassy: it's like almost depressing
Sassy: Was he raised by forest animals?
Sassy: Aren't jews supposed to be well-educated?
Sassy: How many errors did INC get?
Ray: INC had 30 errors.
Sassy: hahahah holy shit


- Gross Speed: 89 WPM
- Errors: 14
- Accuracy: 94%

Fussbett: A lifetime of text adventures.

Undercard Victor: Ice Cream Jonsey

Main Match: Sassy vs. Jhoh "Turbo Division"

Our headlining competitors require an introduction that simply will not fit in this space.

Ray: "Your natural ability vs. sassy's hard work" would make a good theme for this match
Creexul: Sort of like the snooty hotshot (me) vs the poor kid who has a lot of heart (sasy).
Ray: Yes, right. I hope you like being pushed into swimming pools.
Creexul: But I hate water oooo. ~_~
Creexul: Was there a bad guy in Rudy?
Ray: Himself
Creexul: Hm. :(
Ray: He wanted to quit but the black man saved him from it
Ray: No the doubters were correct, he wasn't very very good at football
Ray: The black man said so

Sassy: so far i seem to be at 108
Sassy: with an accuracy of 97 or better
Sassy: but i haven't practiced since i last chatted you
Sassy: i just tried again
Sassy: i'm gonna try again and turn the tv off
Sassy: and take a bong rip because that seems to improve it
Sassy: my eyes are really tired right now
Sassy: i'm going to sleep on it, restore my arm strength
Sassy: and i'll wake up and do it

Creexul: Maybe if she put a bag over her head.
Ray: It's funny you mention that, her mom used to put a towel over her hands for typing practice (so that she couldn't look)
Ray: Incidentally, a similar training method led to Van Damme's victory in Kickboxer I
Creexul: That sounds kind of stupid. :(
Ray: Van Damme's Asian bad-guy final opponent ALSO made fun of his trainings.
Ray: What next, will you kill her best friend then throw blinding powder in her eyes to win?
Creexul: Yes, except she doesn't win in the end. :(
Ray: That is to be decided in the arena of... a typing speed evaluation tool!!


- Gross Speed: 93 WPM
- Errors: 7
- Accuracy: 97%



- Gross Speed: 115 WPM
- Errors: 16
- Accuracy: 95%


Main Victor: Sassy

Encore: Worm By Himself "Worm Division"

Biology tells us that a division of worm is equivalent to TWO worms, and also I received an odd number of entries. Worm beat everyone's ass.


- Gross Speed: 116 WPM
- Errors: 6
- Accuracy: 98%


Encore Victor: Worm

Ray of Light