Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="Ice Cream Jonsey"][quote name="laudablepuss"]<a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2221155">This is the best review ever.</a> She hits all the high points of the other (incredibly stupid) reviews I've read. It's too LOUD! It's just a commercial for TOYS! It's too LONG! But then she unveils her previous complaint from the first movie: she can't tell the robots apart. [quote name="Dana Stevens"]the simplest thing Bay could have done to clarify the stakes of the robot wars would be to visually distinguish the robots from one another in some way.[/quote] Also, she's very upset about the blackness of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. I don't recall this complaint in her first review about Jazz, but whatever. How many monocles does she bring with her to the theater? 50? And by the end she has none.[/quote] Haha, that piece of shit is two and a half fucking hours? Jesus fuck. At least one Caltrops contributor is working on the video game for this thing, and that genuinely looks awesome although yeah, the way Bay imagines the robots looking is retarded (therefore not the dev team's fault or problem). My friends had asked me to see the first one (my reply: No NO no No n-n-n-n-no NO) and look, I love the Transformers. But two and a half hours for something Michael fucking Bay made is asking a little too much. I'd go 140 minutes for Zork: The Great Underground Movie, and I guess I rolled over for the Watchmen, but that's about it. Again, I credit her for writing 600 words on that nonsense. This post is all I'll ever write about the second Transformers movie, and I'm padding the word count in this very sentence. [quote name="Dana Stevens"]The cacophonous final showdown between Jetpack and Camshaft, or whatever the last robots standing are named, takes place in some abstract dimension of pure blockbusterdom, impervious to human identification or emotion.[/quote] Right on. C'mon, I know you guys give her a hard time, but this is pretty good. [quote]It isn't my war, and if it rages on into the summer of 2010, I plan on defecting to Canada.[/quote] Okay, let's reel it in a bit, honey. ICJ[/quote]