Caltrops - Star Trek: A Final Unity





	[quote name="Fortinbras"]I suffered through about half of it. Mr. Plinkett already covered most of everything, but here are a few more things that were really annoying the shit out of me. 1. In the far future, we will listen to Beastie Boys Sabotage while making a phonecall on a Nokia car phone and driving vintage Mustangs. Only to be pulled over by a Cylon. 2. For being made in 2008, this movie doesn't even bother to try and cover up the fact Uhura is useless. And a whore. How did Zoe Seldana talk about this character with a straight face as an important part of the plot? Same with Scotty. Apart from useful cliches making them pertinent you would never have noticed them missing. Can we get some postmodern feminists to analyze just how transparent their roles were? It's not like the writers did anything else respectful, would cutting them both out as useless really have been much worse? Same with Doctor McCoy, though that's the first time I've seen Karl Urban act aside from Lord of the Rings. 3. Shields? What shields? I didn't see a single fucking shield. Up, down, or otherwise. 4. Forget the engine room on the Enterprise being a water plant, the most embarassingly transparent scene was where everybody piled into space school buses at the construction site of the Enterprise, which looks very similar to a 20th century oil refinery! Even the fucking jumpsuits the workers were wearing screamed roughneck oil rig workers! 5. The arbitrary plot ploint of the majority of Starfleet being away doing something important. What the fuck was that about. 6. The Redshirt really wasn't a Redshirt. Somebody went in and replaced him with one of the Space Marines from Aliens. Redshirts are disciplined hard motherfuckers just as capable as any enlisted on a modern navy ship, slaughtered mercilessly to prove the superior alien technology of whatever the threat of the day was. This guy was more like a fratboy. "WOOOHOOO YEAH GONNA KILL ME SOME ROMULANS", followed by him getting so highly exciteable that he forgets to pull his fucking ripcord. The only way this could have been worse is if he was wearing a Beerhat and clutching a Budweiser in each hand as he came down. Redshirts don't get themselves killed, their Captains do! This wasn't a homage, it was a child with a big book of cliches and a good IP. 7. Maybe they should have brought along a couple of phaser rifles to begin with instead of a single sword and a pair of fists if they were just going to shoot the goddamn drill-bit like they were in a game of Quake II. 8. Captain Kirk acting like a smug little fucking asshole eating an apple in your simulation and barely reacting to the events around him, correcting people, etc., and your Vulcan mind ABSOLUTELY BOGGLES at how he did it? Also this scene is probably the worst in the movie and completely symbolic of where Abrams is taking this franchise.[/quote]