Forum Overview :: Article Submissions :: You alone get it, fucking newbie

[quote name="Mischief Maker"][quote name="fucking newbie"]I look for decent 4xes and grand strats, so I mostly avoid indie shit. [...] Everything else has been too asian, loud, stupid, and badly designed, too flash over substance except the flash in it's blinding rather than titillating. Do you have anything that plays as well as your favorite of that bunch but looks better than Guacamelee? That'd be a real help. Hell, another one like Hammerfight would be a real help.[/quote] When I decided to write this big article on PC brawlers and started coming up with good titles to include in the list, I thought to myself, "Hey waitaminit! What about that ONE game? That game that's better than all 8 other games on the list? The one with gameplay better than Devil May Cry and God Hand combined, but with fantastic graphics that aren't too asian, not too loud, not stupid, and with flash that titillates instead of blinds, LORE that you can lose yourself in for days, and above all else is an action game designed with 4X strategy gamers in mind? Should I at least mention that game?" I sat for several moments stroking my chin before pounding my fist on the desk and declaring, "Fuck no! Caltrops is unworthy of hearing about that game. <I>Unless,</I> someone replies with a comment of <A HREF="http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=148680">Rock Paper Shotgun-level cuntiness</A>! Only <U>then</U> would I reveal the very greatest brawler that has ever graced the PC. You're in luck, fucking newbie! It's called "Captain 12-year-old's homeroom daydream adventure" and it is RADICAL! Alas, for the life of me I can't find a working link to it anywhere. It's almost like the game doesn't exist![/quote]