Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="Fullofkittens"]It doesn't work as a standalone movie. It only works because it bolts directly onto the front of Ep IV like sko emo plague mask. If you were someone that had never seen a Star Wars movie before you would walk out of there going UM EVERYBODY DIED TO FIND OUT HOW TO BLOW UP THE DEATH STAR AND <i>NOBODY BLEW IT UP?</i> The protagonist (Jyn) felt really badly written to me, particularly because she spent 75% of the movie going "fuck off everybody, this is not my war," and then she sees her dad for one second and suddenly she's Thomas fucking Paine speechifyin' before Congress. The supporting characters: also badly done. I really wanted more of the blind Jedi fanboi (Donnie Yen) and his shooty shoots friend; the way they went out was dumb. It would have been way more effective if they had been just outrageously successful and lucky (because the Force was with them) but then they got nuked like everybody else, going out shoulder to shoulder with with their little chant about how they're with the Force. Other things I found disappointing that were surprising: <ul><li>Who the <b>fuck</b> gave the green light to XCOM Tarkin and Leia??? God it was so terrible. It takes a shit on the entire acting profession to presume that a cartoon can stand in for Peter Cushing.</li> <li>The score was pretty bad! I was surprised because Michael Giacchino is one of the best film composers working nowadays, and he had the Star Wars themes to work with...but when the time came for big moments in the score, the score was just lame. Sad!</li></ul> Mainly, though, I'm just not looking for a dark gritty space opera out of Star Wars; I liked TFA more because Star Wars movies are fun fantasy movies with adventures n' shit and this wasn't that. If you're looking to spend a lot of time watching space battles - and I'm not knocking it if you are - it does really provide a lot of space battles. One thing I did like was that there seemed to be a bit of conscious self-parody about the Empire being just really really bad at designing things. No matter what you want to do in an Empire base it involves either running to a console on the other side of the parking lot or climbing across a treacherous ledge. My favorite was when their record system would automatically make the hard disk you want light up, but to get it you still had to use a finicky set of game paddles to surgically remove the disk from its enclosure. That all fits the mindset of a military organization that designs tanks that walk on stilts, and battleships that put their command centers behind a big windshield, right next to a big explodey-ball dodecahedron.[/quote]