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Even chess grandmasters are now controlled by computers via anal beads
[quote name="blackwater"]At least, <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2022/09/14/the-internet-thinks-a-chess-grandmaster-cheated-using-anal-beads-17370756/amp/">that's what Elon Musk is tweeting about</a>, and he is going to be the owner of Twitter soon. <img width=400 src="https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/SEI_116344756-1.jpg"/> [quote name="Metro"]The world of chess has been rocked by the biggest scandal in years and it involves artificial intelligence and anal beads. Last week, world chess champion Magnus Carlsen, withdrew from a major tournament with a $350,000 prize money after his unexpected defeat by underdog Hans Niemann. Norway’s Carlsen announced his withdrawal in a cryptic tweet with a video implying that Niemann had cheated. The tweet was accompanied by a video of Portuguese soccer manager, José Mourinho, saying, ‘I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble.’ Other big names in the sport declared Niemann’s play ‘sus’, suspicions were raised further when Niemann admitted to cheating twice previously. Chess.com issued a statement that it had banned Niemann from its site over his alleged cheating. Chess enthusiasts online have since gone on to speculate that Niemann may have been cheating with computer assistance and anal beads. [quote name="MagnusCarlsen"]I’ve withdrawn from the tournament. I’ve always enjoyed playing in the @STLChessClub, and hope to be back in the future https://t.co/YFSpl8er3u— Magnus Carlsen (@MagnusCarlsen) September 5, 2022[/quote] As the chess world debated whether it was possible to cheat in chess with vibrating anal beads, Twitter’s favourite troublemaker Elon Musk, joined in on the debate. The Tesla CEO reacted to a clip shared by another Twitter user, which showed someone discussing the possibility of anal beads being used. SpaceX founder and Tesla CEO Elon Musk waded into the debate – before deleting his tweet (Credit: Reuters) ‘That’s probably a good one right, an anal bead would probably beat the thing, the engine. I don’t know, I really don’t know,’ said the person in the video. Musk reacted to the video with an adapted version of a quote from philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. He tweeted: ‘Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt).’ [quote name="HansMokeNiemann"]The silence of my critics clearly speaks for itself. If there was any real evidence, why not show it? @GMHikaru has continued to completely ignore my interview and is trying to sweep everything under the rug. Is anyone going to take accountability for the damage they’ve done?— Hans Niemann (@HansMokeNiemann) September 7, 2022[/quote] Chess fans speculated that anal beads could transmit messages from an accomplice who was watching the game being broadcast live online and consult an AI to transmit the perfect move. However, it’s unclear if Niemann could be beating the tournament’s anti-cheating precautions, which include a 15-minute delay in the broadcast of moves and radio-frequency identification checks. Apart from the ridiculous anal beads theory, people suspect that Niemann got his hands on Carlsen’s game plan ahead of time, thereby anticipating his surprise opening. Niemann has vehemently denied that he cheated against Carlsen and even went so far as to say that he would play fully naked to prove it. Other chess pros have defended Niemann, calling the allegations a ‘witch hunt’. Among the 10 players participating in the Sinquefield Cup, Niemann was the lowest rated and the least likely to defeat the world champion who was on a two-year unbeaten streak. While we might not know if anal beads are a liability to the integrity of chess, advances in material science and artificial intelligence could mean checking for ingenious inventions like ‘smart clothes’ that transmit messages through the fabric. [/quote] So, TL;DR don't bother learning chess. Just learn how to stuff computers up your butt.[/quote]