Caltrops - Lively: Google Creates Something Terrible





	[quote name="Rafiki"]I have a 1st or 2nd gen Nest, I don't remember which. It's worked fine for 10+ years or however long I've had it. Google sent me an e-mail a few weeks back announcing they're shutting down network connectivity for the old Nest thermostats. The company with one of the largest, most complex, and robust networks in the world and one of the largest IT and engineering staffs in the world finds it too cumbersome to maintain the servers for some old tech. Even though it pretty much just works and they don't need to do anything except not turn the servers off. They told me that as a valued customer they'd be able to give me a discount on a new model, so I laughed and then deleted their e-mail. I had a work anniversary, and they let me pick a "gift" from some catalog of cheap garbage. I saw they had a new model Nest thermostat and seeing as how it was free and everything else sucked, I ordered it. Here are the steps to install the new thermostat. <ol> <li>Open the box and remove the thermostat from its packaging.</li> <li>Per the insert containing setup instructions, download the Google Home app. The existing Nest app does not support newer models.</li> <li>Open the Google Home app and connect a Gmail account, real or throwaway, to the Home app.</li> <li>When prompted to enter an address, type "Fuck You" into the address line, pick a fake state, and enter a fake zip code (they are crafty and validate the zip code actually exists in the selected state, so make sure you look up something that matches!)</li> <li>Per the setup instructions insert, tap the + button to add the thermostat</li> <li>Except don't do that, because it doesn't exist. Instead, tap "Devices" at the bottom of the screen. One of the most valuable companies in the world can't update their printed instructions.</li> <li>Tap "Add device" on the devices screen.</li> <li>Select "Google Nest" from the list of options.</li> <li>Say, "how 'bout eat shit," when prompted to allow Google to know your precise location in order to "find devices on your local network." Somehow they must know your exact geolocation to scan for WiFi signals.</li> <li>Look at the instructions insert and see that step 3, after the erroneous step 2, is to scan the QR code on the back of the thermostat to add it to the Home app.</li> <li>Look up online that you have to give Google your precise location, wait for it to fail to find a network to connect to, before it will allow you to scan the QR code. No option to skip.</li> <li>Return the thermostat and other contents to their rightful places in their packaging.</li> <li>Take the box outside and throw it in the dumpster.</li> </ol> Why does Google need to know my address, longitude, and latitude to let me turn my air conditioner on from my phone? They don't, they are just assholes.[/quote]