Caltrops - Rants





	[quote name="Bill Dungsroman"][quote name="Ray, of Light"]Owing to the handiwork of a brilliant rhetorical tactician, I'm hesitant to announce that I don't watch TV. But I don't. Except for last night, that is, when some people came over and insisted they see the Simpsons' 300th episode. After a scuffle with the basement's coaxial empire, I got things "rigged up", and looked forward to being entertained in the same manner as ordinary people. Would everything make sense? Would my ignorance be obvious? I would find out. And find out, I did! The shows are familiar, but what in hell happened to advertising? One commerical, for tiny tampons (o.b., if you're wondering) was set in adjacent bathroom stalls and stopped (just) short of clots-into-water sound effects. The ladies in the audience felt it "went too far". A second ad, for DoA:XB/VBall, had a room full of teen boys and pillows demonstrating how the game can give you an errection. On what level is all this necessary? I was a teenage boy once, and in need of many things, but <i>more</i> errections? No. I once waited an hour for a subway car with room to sit. That ad sells pillows more than a video game. Equally, if I had some medical condition that grew me a vagina and required I place things inside it, it would be enough to say: "Hey! Those things in your vagina? <i>We</i> make smaller ones." End of commercial, sale closed. These ads <u>do</u> get attention, however, and attention is the chocolate-covered, nicotine-salted, liqueur-centered crack rock that defines an advertiser's existence. The trend is as unstoppable as it is unneccessary, much like advertising itself. You can steel yourself for newer, <u>edgier</u> ads, for everything from high-fibre cereal: "You gotta fill the bowl, to <i>fill the bowl</i>" ... to automobiles: "The Dodge Bicep, with Trunk-in-Front™! Assuming <i>you</i> don't take it in the rear, why should your car?" ... to beer: "No fooling this time! We <i>will</i> get you laid!" Then, when we think we've hit bottom, the tampon people will take it to the next level -- "The o.b. Blood Wraith is our <i>Wickedest</i> tampon yet! It stops flow dead, and leaves your camel-toe intact! Look for the limited edition crimson-foil box (<i>Box!</i>), and <b>Get It In Ya</b>!" -- and the vicious cycle begins again. Where does it end? I'll tell you: here, on the internet, where we already see stirrings of realization that "ad-supported" equals "crap," and demand for ad-free content. I pray we'll show the same sound judgement in the coming wave of Edge, and demand product with some measure of dignity. Should we fail, it will be <i>Japan</i> making jokes about <i>us</i>. Funny ones. Ray![/quote] Yeah, look what grass-roots interent efforts did for the film, music, and oh yeah, gaming industries. We'se gwinter change d'world! Or get free pr0n, whichever comes first. Although I do agree with you <I>in part</I> about retarded advertising (I've had enough of married or dating couples gleefully fucking each other over for a beer or snack cracker - that's funny?), obnoxious efforts appeal to the LCD, and allow the LCD to remember them when they go to the store. INC pointed this out quite well. And it works on those of us who like to think themselves more enlightened. Example: I just acquired a moderate case of Athlete's Foot. I go to the store, I buy TOUGH ACTIN' TINACTIN BOOM! (a joke you may not get, it seems). Is it more expensive than Smith's brand foot powder? Yeah, but it comes in a spray can and maybe it will work better. Whatever, it's only a buck more, who gives a shit? And Tinactin wins over even us diploma-carrying snobs WHO KNOW BETTER. Or not. Also: not all ads completely suck. BDR [/quote]