Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="Jhoh Cable o_O"][quote]Going to see Spiderman 2 by myself, I get a seat fairly high up, a quarter of the way in from the seats. There are a couple seats between me and a kid who looked to be around my age. The entire time, he was bouncing his knees and constantly rocking back and forth in his seat. When a woman came in carrying her baby, he exclaims, "OH, WHAT, BRING A BABY IN HERE," in the most incredulous voice. I didn't hear that baby once during the entire movie, but you know who I heard? As soon as the lights go down, he started giggling. When the Warner Bros. logo came up, he steepled his fingers and said in what he thought was a low voice, "Oh, how I have waited for this..." While he does this I think to myself, "What the FUCK?" But it goes on. Throughout the movie, he's talking obnoxiously loud, making stupid remarks and speaking back to the screen. Finally, in cafe scene between Snaggletooth and Pleasantville, he's talking to Mary Jane. He. He, being in the audience. To her. Her, being in the movie. I leaned over and said to him, "Fucking say it LOUDER next time, maybe she'll hear you." He gets this surprised look, doesn't know how to react. "Huh...? Wha?" "You HEARD me, didn't you? I've heard YOU the entire damn movie. SHUT THE FUCK UP." That elicited a whoop or two from a group of younger kids sitting further down the row from me. But it doesn't end there. I've told the story to a couple friends, and every time it's retold the story gets more outlandish. It went from me telling this kid to shut his fucking mouth, to me saying this to a retard. From there, me cursing out a retard. Then a retard in a helmet. And finally to me PUNCHING a helmeted retard.[/quote] [quote]I went to one of the Serenity preview screenings, and i found out that Firefly fans are all selfish arseholes, leading to me sitting in the front row of the theatre. Anyway, once the movie started it all got better, and at the part when Wash gets impaled, the air was literally sucked out of the theatre from all the gasps. I swear i heard some people yelp, "nooo!"[/quote] [quote]I went to see X-men 3 the theater was packed "I'm the juggernaut bitch!" I laughed so fucking hard b/c I didn't expect it I was the only one who laughed[/quote] [quote]Saw the Escaflowne movie on a date because of vague interest, and nearly no one going to see it. There were only three other people in the theater. Some middle-aged guy towards the front row, and two girls who sat in the row right in front of me, directly in front of my seats and talked through the whole movie. They were the kind of girls who use Gaia. Glasses, black clothing, candy jewelry, annoying voices. They talked the whole time about how so and so characters were bishis, and how they should make out and pointing out plot holes, and going "awwww" everytime the catgirl came on screen. They were just really loud, but I mostly just ignored it. I got dragged to that crappy Adam Sandler animated movie about Haunukka(sp?) Packed theater, me and a date and again I end up sitting behind four retarded teenagers. They came to the theater high, or drunk. Everyone else didn't laugh once. The whole theater was in dead silence the whole movie, except for a couple scenes where a few people went "Ewwww..." Other than that, dead silence. Except for the four kids right in front of me. They laughed at every line, every scene, they were laughing at their own jokes unrelated to the movie. Saw one of the Matrix movies the second or third, I can't even remember which. I just remember there was a gay couple sitting a couple rows ahead of me. Two middle-age men holding hands. One is REALLY into the film, the other has no idea what's going on. Anyway, point is the whole movie I sit through the guy who's really into it explaining the entire plot beginning to end to the other guy, very loudly trying to talk over the sound on screen. "AND THEY'RE IN A VIRTUAL WORLD, AND THIS GUY NEO BECOMES VERY GOOD AT MANIPULATING THE ENVIRONMENT, SO HE'S LIKE GOD IN THERE."[/quote] HAHA THEY'RE GAY [quote]This thread is dissapointing. At least lie and say you beat the shit out of someone, anon.[/quote] [quote name="Jsoh"]heres a story someone else told on /tv/ that Im totally ripping off: two bulldykes are in line for the 300, theyre all dyky and fuck ugly making out (like they are making a political statement about how much they are dykes HEH) and then when we get to the seats they realize they are in line for the wrong fucking chick flick movie (theyre stupid) so I shout "THIS IS SPARTA" and kick them down the stairs and I get arrested and they go to the hospital and have their uteruses removed THE MOTHERFUCKING AWESOME END[/quote] [quote]My mother's a real religious nut, so she begged and pleaded for me and my brother to take her to see Narnia. It's not like it's a horrible experience with her or anything, she's really mellowed about it over the years, and can take a joke now, just saying something like "You boys are terrible!" and laughing along with us. Anyway, she did start to get a bit preachy at some points, and as a result we sort of ended up MSTKing the movie unintentionally, just in jokingly replying to her comments. Which caused us to laugh quite loudly, and try and stop ourselves from laughing which just made us laugh more. It culminated towards the end of the movie when the two sides culminate for the big battle, and during the charge my mother says "Everything that is good against everything that is evil!" and my brother sees the ice witch pulled on her chariot and replies "Yeah, polar bears are fucking evil!" and we just kept cracking up, and we got loud enough that some lay in the row in front of us turned and hissed "shhhhhh!" at us, and we felt bad but just couldn't stop laughing at different scenes and lines. Anyway, after the movie we were still laughing, and I ended up laughing so hard I fell down the stairs, and sprang my ankle. They gave us free movie tickets and snacks for the next visit, and we just kept laughing all the way home about the movie.[/quote] [quote]Watched Minority Report baked off my face, about 20 minutes into the movie shouted ' HOLY SHIT I'M WATCHING A FILM!' Got some fucked up looks, but it quite frankly scared me that I ended up there.[/quote] [quote cite="a screenshot of an old post replying to Jso's"]I haven't seen it yet because I was banned from my cineplex. We had all lined up in front of the theater for about 30 minutes, and then they brought us in. I had to stand right beside these two fat, horse-faced lesbians eating each others tongues like they were making a political statement or something. So, like 30 minutes later, we end up shuffling in the theater and these fucking bitches start bitching about having to wait when the movie is about to start, mind you, it was 11 and it was a midnight showing. It turns out they were going to see that stupid Jim Carrey movie 23 and they were missing it. So, the ugliest of the two bitches just exclaims like no one's there "This is the wrong fucking movie!" I just had to do what I did next. I shouted at the top of my lungs "This is SPARTA" and kicked her in the chest, causing her to fall down about 8 steps to the floor. Most were shocked, but about 80% of the theater started to cheer, and I was forcibly thrown out by 2 officers. Charges are going to be pressed against me apparently, but it was worth it.[/quote] [quote]I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 in the theater, and if you've ever done that you know what the crowds are like, there's always at least 10 people who go OH MY GOD at every SHOCKING scene of buhs letting the bin laden family go, or on September 10th buhs had a glass of water and people are going YEP, MM HM, OF COURSE and visibily nodding very hard so that everyone can see that they are nodding at this movie. Big laughs when they have the Bonanza opening with Bush and Blair's heads in there, silence when Moore is like MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THE PATRIOT ACT and then there's a clip that I guess shows him riding around in an ice cream truck reading the Patriot Act, yet they don't even go over a single second of what is REALLY in the Patriot Act, not even the part where our civil liberties are ended and freedom is over paving the way for V for Vendetta to free the world from oppression. They didn't even have any examples of the Patriot Act being used to silence free speech dissent or anything. All they had was one old guy at some gym in Nowhere, California, getting questioned by (apparently incompetent) Homeland Security agents, and one border guard who's alone with no backup against the soulless horde swarm of terrorists pouring in from Canada. All of this gets a loud "of course!" from people in the audience. Near the end of the movie, everyone is shaking their heads sadly at the fatty mother who's son died in Iraq, and the camera stays on her as she sobs for like a half hour, and it keeps going on and on, and stays that way, then a woman walks into frame and says THIS IS STAGED THIS ISN'T REAL, then walks away and 10 more minutes of showing fatso crying in front of the white house and she's on her knees callying to the heavens and why god have you forsaken me and all that. I wing my half ice half empty (or half full) delicious fountain drink right up into the air, it hits the ceiling (which was low, plus there was stadium seating and I was all the way in the back), and the cup practically explodes, spraying the entire crowd with ice chips and coke and my backwash. It really erased the grief quite well. <font color="black">I didn't actually do that but it's the made up part to make my story more interesting.</font>[/quote][/quote]