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by Quétinbec 03/30/2009, 7:54pm PDT |
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It's illegal to publicly charm snakes in Delhi. It happens, but they're very secretive about it. I didn't want to pay for a photo (I arrived in India with only $US1700) so I thought I could sneak up behind this guy and my friend could pretend to be taking his picture, when in fact he would be taking mine with the snakes! But his Cobras started snapping at me and gave me away. I fled when the charmer asked me to come closer but he bagged his snakes in seconds (the second basket had a bigger Cobra and a baby Cobra) and chased after me demanding in his loudest, fiercest whisper that I give him 500 rupee. I offered him 30 rupee but he refused. I walked as fast as I could to a populated area where he'd be too afraid to harass me because of his illegal concealed snakes. The sidewalks are fucked in Delhi, though, and he had to jog to keep up with me and I was freaking out he'd trip on a pothole and his snakes would fly out all over me. He left without me noticing and without getting any money off me at all.
Here's a cool city where everyone's agreed to paint their house blue, except for the one flashy asshole who painted his orange, ruining the entire city for everyone.
This was a school for children whose parents had a combined income of less than $US100 a month. I was commissioned to make a website for them. I came in to take some photographs for the website. Then I went to cybercafe to try and learn how to make a website. Eventually, I got frustrated after a few setbacks and decided to give up on them and all my other clients without any notice at all and travel the country with a Gypsy. Sorry India, but that's how we roll in the West.
This was my favourite girl.
Gypsy scum! They'd try and pull off one of your sandles (thongs, jandles, flip flops whatever you call them) and sell it back to you, knowing it takes over 20 seconds to dismount a camel which is more than enough time for them to escape. Don't try and kick at them; they anticipate this. Put your feet on your camel's neck and wait for the guide to beat them off with a stick.
When I didn't have anything better to do, I'd go exploring on my motorcycle. When an Indian is walking on the side of the road and sees a single person on a motorcycle heading in their direction, they try and thumb a ride, so, not having any better objectives, sometimes I would give them rides GTA taxi style.
Once, there were two big guys in their late teens who thumbed me down quite deep in the 'country'. As they boarded, I noticed one of them had painted nails (Gypsy scum) which kind of freaked me out. They were heavy as fuck and every time we went over a bump, the exhaust would scrape the ground which further freaked me because bike renters take your passport as deposit and use any new damage to extort money out of you (I crashed a motorcycle once and was FUCKED by one). The Gypsies were directing me deeper and deeper through their villages and I was running out of petrol and it was getting dark, so I was frightened.
As we rode through the villages, children would roll tires and throw sticks onto the road in front of us. They were doing this while I had two of their guys on the back, so what would they do when I came back through by myself and it was darker? Frightening. When the two guys finally told me to stop at a tiny bus stop in the middle of nowhere, they got off and then asked me to give them some money! And some of the other people waiting at the stop started crowding around me also wanting money. One asked to have a look at my camera. I freaked out, smiled, and drove the fuck away like they were about to explode.
On the way back, the little cunt gypsies threw more shit at me. One of them stood in the path of my bike and played chicken while his friends cheered (and threw shit) from the side of the road. I was like, there's no way I'm swerving for this stupid little cunt, and just as well because he jumped out of the way at the last second so if I had swerved I would have wiped us both out in the middle of his village and fuck knows what they would have done.
Anyway, I got lost but escaped via directions from some old men who were playing a game of something.
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India Part 1 by Quétinbec 03/30/2009, 7:54pm PDT 
I read about the blue house phenomenon in a book about tipping points. by Jerry Whorebach 03/31/2009, 2:39am PDT
Samanes-seki, eemee sheemee pek poejee dah NT by Lee Myung-bak 03/31/2009, 3:07am PDT
Klop Jabba poo pah. Goo paknee ata pankpa. 8( NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/31/2009, 3:34am PDT
India Part 2 by Quétinbec 03/31/2009, 7:55pm PDT
Always so good. NT by Zsenitan 03/31/2009, 8:20pm PDT
Haha Salad (Western Style) *one sliced onion* NT by Fussbett 03/31/2009, 9:11pm PDT
With a sprinkling of curry powder as dressing! NT by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 12:54am PDT
Cuba's Western Salad was mixed cubed veggies from the freezer bag + oil. NT by Fussbett 04/01/2009, 2:58am PDT
You can't fuck up a fruit salad, though. What fruit combo doesn't work? NT by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 3:41am PDT
the slicked-back old guy with the iron: tailor, seller of clothes, or..? NT by up with pod people 03/31/2009, 9:51pm PDT
He was mearly an 'ironer'! by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 12:53am PDT
Your photography is also getting much better by I need clarification 04/02/2009, 3:29pm PDT
Re: Your photography is also getting much better by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:41pm PDT
Is making a lot of money an art? Or just a lost art? NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 11:14am PDT
It's a scam. When you sell photos, you steal from people. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 4:50pm PDT
Their souls? NT by Ansel Adams, mountain soul stealer 04/03/2009, 5:13pm PDT
That's not how I make money. I marry rich people. You should try it (and fail). NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 5:16pm PDT
Hey Jerry, how much would you have to be paid to marry INC's wife? NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 11:38pm PDT
How much just to Skype with her? NT by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 1:06am PDT
Hmmm, wanking to someone as ugly as your wife on Skype... It's possible. by Quétinbec 04/04/2009, 2:09pm PDT
What if she was a guy? You probably came just reading that. NT by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 2:19pm PDT
Now Jerry, you take INC's wife seriously! by Quétinbec 04/04/2009, 2:01pm PDT
You've really found my weak spot! If only I could find yours. :( by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 2:32pm PDT
orion the russian diver NT by gruman 04/04/2009, 3:27pm PDT
I wish I could quit you QB! NT by Smoke Manmuscle, Diver for Hire 04/04/2009, 4:04pm PDT
Hey, don't horn in on my "QB dead by 2015" long bet. NT by Fussbett 04/04/2009, 4:22pm PDT
Sounds like he actually might have - that's the longest INC post in years. NT by Choson 04/04/2009, 4:36pm PDT
The only way to win on Caltrops is to not post. This is why Caltrops is dying. NT by You're part of the problem. 04/04/2009, 10:37pm PDT
So... Caltrops dying is a bad thing? NT by Choson 04/05/2009, 8:43am PDT
If you want Caltrops to die then you're doing everything right. NT by You're part of the solution 04/05/2009, 11:40am PDT
Thank you. by Choson 04/05/2009, 12:14pm PDT
gentlemen, such barbarianism is unseemly NT by this is india 04/04/2009, 9:42pm PDT
He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Quétinbec 04/05/2009, 4:51pm PDT
Speaking of long bets here's one Canada goes bankrupt and collapses in 10 years. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 5:57pm PDT
Why is Canada getting splash damage in this INC/QB war?! Hate the game, not Can NT by Fussbett 04/05/2009, 6:03pm PDT
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture is by far etc. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 6:07pm PDT
that is it. I am unleashing the fleet of beavers. NT by up with pod people 04/05/2009, 7:24pm PDT
LOL hilarious beaver canada joke NT by still laughing 04/05/2009, 7:32pm PDT
fine, they are ninja beavers. you guys fucking love ninjas. NT by up with pod people 04/05/2009, 7:39pm PDT
yes link to dr. ninja webcomic again. we all love ninjas. NT by still laughing 04/05/2009, 8:39pm PDT
Smart enough to eventually make something work by Fussbett 04/05/2009, 6:02pm PDT
Re: Smart enough to eventually make something work by Quétinbec 04/06/2009, 2:56am PDT
Haha "maybe sew or write or do something great" *one sliced onion* NT by Fussbett 04/06/2009, 3:15am PDT
a common misconception by Ray of Light 04/05/2009, 6:57pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/05/2009, 7:22pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 7:46pm PDT
Really? And what did you say yours was again, Creexyls? NT by Charity Man 04/05/2009, 7:49pm PDT
WELL IT'S 476 HEY WAIT A SECOND NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 8:25pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Quétinbec 04/06/2009, 3:01am PDT
Of course not. My first suspect would be Irene, herself. NT by Mischief Maker 04/06/2009, 5:24am PDT
Holy shit look at that pancake face! NT by I need clarification 04/05/2009, 9:42pm PDT
why hellow there sleeping hideo kojima NT by gruman 04/05/2009, 10:09pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Entropy Stew 04/05/2009, 10:22pm PDT
India Part 3 by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:28pm PDT
Don't wear a bikini in that restaurant, QB! NT by Mischief Maker 04/02/2009, 6:37pm PDT
India Bonus Material: Nepal by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:39pm PDT
Look at how much cuter Nepalese children are than Indian children. NT by Fussbett 04/02/2009, 6:43pm PDT
They're the best kids in the world. Better even than white kids! by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:34am PDT
were those people worried that you were 'stealing their soul' with your camera NT by Mysterio 04/02/2009, 11:40pm PDT
So long as it's using Fujifilm's anti-soul filter, the Neps are OK with it. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:35am PDT
Waldo by Waldo 04/14/2009, 2:41pm PDT
Re: Waldo by bombMexico 04/14/2009, 4:20pm PDT
Divers do not strike me as people easily fooled or misled. Russians neither. NT by Ray of Light 04/02/2009, 11:10pm PDT
It's easy to fool someone who doesn't give a shit, Ray. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:35am PDT
Russians thought Communism was a good idea. NT by N 04/03/2009, 5:38am PDT
Yeah, and look how well capitalism's working out for us right now. by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 8:10am PDT
Capitalism (western style) NT by 1 sliced onion 04/03/2009, 9:41am PDT
it's not being used right now, that's how it's working out NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/03/2009, 9:52am PDT
Whoa, there's no more capitalism in the world? I'd love to see that LGF post NT by Fussbett 04/03/2009, 1:53pm PDT
Just search LGF for "Obama." NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/03/2009, 2:30pm PDT
I did this. Nearly every post is about Obama! Couldn't find capitalism ones. NT by Fussbett 04/03/2009, 3:54pm PDT
Try "socialist nightmare." NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/03/2009, 4:23pm PDT
Seven years of tertiary education and that's your reply? Nice, Keith Olbermann NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 9:59am PDT
My Bad: by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 10:17am PDT
NICE ONE RACHEL MADDOW >=( NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 10:20am PDT
How about this? by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 11:29am PDT
The problem is we put too many regulations on our most greedy criminals. NT by What Republicans actually etc 04/03/2009, 11:24am PDT
what liberals actually believe that republicans would actually believe (the left NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/03/2009, 11:38am PDT
Just in it for the shirtless dudes. It turns out they were soldiers! Bonus wank! NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 11:19am PDT
Nothing says not gay like hanging around ex-military diver Buff Hardchest NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 11:32am PDT
conundrum: if everybody noticed him, is everybody gay? NT by up with pod people 04/03/2009, 12:18pm PDT
Now taking auditions for the Caltrops Men's Choir NT by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 12:19pm PDT
I wasn't going to say anything but then INC spoke up so I thought it was safe NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 1:36pm PDT
okay so some of us are gay COWARDS NT by Ass cancer 04/03/2009, 1:57pm PDT
with ass cancer ;( NT by up with pod people 04/03/2009, 1:58pm PDT
"If ass cancer should enter my ass, let that cancer destroy every closet door." NT by Harvey Milk 04/03/2009, 2:00pm PDT
I only saw the boat and ocean but read into the negative space OH NOOOOO!!! NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 5:17pm PDT
Shoe Shit by Quétinbec 04/28/2009, 4:49pm PDT
Shoe? SHOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE NT by Murray from Space Mutiny 04/28/2009, 4:58pm PDT
the computer problems of joe and murry make for gripping cinema NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/28/2009, 5:01pm PDT
Those Formica monitors don't get a lot of resolution. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/28/2009, 5:03pm PDT
Arriving by Quétinbec 07/05/2009, 7:32pm PDT
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