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hey I'm published now it feels so good, ROYALTIES PLZ by bombMexico 03/31/2009, 5:05pm PDT That the Post A Reply button links to and spoiled for me the BSG finale is barely even worth mentioning. In fact, just to make you feel less guilty I'm going to spoil April 15th for you. You buy OutRun Arcade and sit in the lobby with everyone eager to play a 20 year old racing game (the lobby is empty). As you shoot Jerry a quick WTF MAN he informs you that unless it comes out of a cereal box Live Gold isn't really something he can afford, but he appreciates the effort and now you can both share thoughts on how much fun the single player is. This will take a few moments to sink in before the anger washes over you and you run over to the computer and delete Caltrops as hard as you possibly can. There's a reason this nightmare scenario seems so eerily realistic, replace OutRun with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and ICJ with a slimmer more handsome man and that fool is me, and i didn't even have the power to delete Caltrops for revenge. On April 16th when people are midly put off or kind of indifferent to the disappearance of Caltrops, this guy will be nodding his head wisely, calling people cunts and bemoaning the state of affairs on neogaf or something :) ALSO, if i can continue writing a longer complaint than the actual article, certain people might question whether a post that is at least 3/4 in-joke is appropriate for new (heh) posters cruising the front page. Certain people who thrived less on attention that is! I guess, psh, if you wanted, you could replace the part of the first sentence with slow spiral of self destruction, That would provide a quick crash course on Jerry Whorebach and also make the whole thing less of a fun post and more of a personal attack, which was my original intention before i got sidetracked.

The Caltrops 100,000 Post Contest by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 9:47am PDT     Man, that guy can't STOP winning. NT by Fussbett 03/18/2009, 9:50am PDT         HE'S WINNIN ANY FUCKIN WAY *lights up menthol* NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 9:52am PDT     I think Jerry is the best person to give that to. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 10:18am PDT     100K, now out of curiosity ~how many were lost in the deletion NT by up with pod people 03/18/2009, 11:33am PDT         All the good ones NT by CALTROPS PEAKED IN 2003 03/18/2009, 12:31pm PDT             But we have the 2003 posts. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 1:42pm PDT                 HOORAY, THEN! NT by CALTROPS PEAKED IN 2003 03/18/2009, 1:48pm PDT         Re: 100K, now out of curiosity ~how many were lost in the deletion by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 8:00pm PDT     Awesome. I had a feeling not buying Braid would pay off for me! by Jerry Whorebach 03/18/2009, 5:44pm PDT         Well $15 I mean come on, that's stupid, what dipshit would pay that? by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 5:53pm PDT             >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( NT by Bald 03/18/2009, 7:15pm PDT     How the fuck do I gift Braid to Jerry in Xbox Live? THIS IS BULLSHIT NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 8:20pm PDT         You can gift him the points, but not the game itself. NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/18/2009, 8:24pm PDT             Xbawcks should learn from Meast. O_O by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 8:50pm PDT                 Sorry, I need all my points for those sweet sweet Rock Band DLC tracks. NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/18/2009, 9:29pm PDT                     I wonder if ICJ has spare points. O_O NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 5:41am PDT                         GOT SOME POINTS MAN? I GOT THESE CHEESE BURGERS, I WILL SUCK YOU COCK NT by Homeless Guy who doesn't exist 03/19/2009, 7:11am PDT                             He was given cheeseburgers and doesn't even like them, but by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2009, 8:00am PDT                                 Jerry doesn't need your money; he needs your love. NT by Quétinbec 03/19/2009, 5:23pm PDT                                     (But he'll take the money.) NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2009, 5:27pm PDT                                         Re: (But he'll take the money.) by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2009, 8:30pm PDT                                             Jerry, do the right thing and turn down the points! NT by Quétinbec 03/19/2009, 9:14pm PDT                                                 Hey guys Quentin Beck has some advice for me, it's about doing the right thing. by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2009, 11:33pm PDT                                                     This is my new desktop background NT by E. L. Koba 03/20/2009, 12:56am PDT                                                     You know ICJ would have insisted and you could've looked like a gentleman. NT by Quétinbec 03/20/2009, 7:15pm PDT                                                         This isn't personal, this is CONTEST BUSINESS, and I take it VERY SERIOUSLY. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/20/2009, 10:31pm PDT                                                             Update: it's gonna be on Steam on March 30. I can wait if you can. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/21/2009, 1:36pm PDT                                                                 Tell him you've got a doctor's appointment on the 30th. Play up the liver thing. NT by Metroplex 03/21/2009, 6:16pm PDT                                                                 I can do Youtubes now, but Braid might be pushing it (my video card). by Jerry Whorebach 03/21/2009, 6:31pm PDT                                                                     THIS IS A TRAP, dear god I hope I'm in time by bombMexico 03/22/2009, 2:08am PDT                                                                         He's trying to trade his gift in for friendship! How cheap do you come, ICJ? NT by Quétinbec 03/22/2009, 4:04am PDT                                                                         What? Jerry's STILL trying to kill himself? by Mischief Maker 03/22/2009, 8:07am PDT                                                                             Choice of method is a fairly reliable indicator of gender by Ray of Light 03/22/2009, 9:36am PDT                                                                             Suicide! by Quétinbec 03/22/2009, 5:24pm PDT                                                                                 Street rat! by Zsenitan 03/23/2009, 5:52am PDT                                                                                     Comedy GOLD by Where do I send the check? 03/23/2009, 8:20am PDT                                                                                 It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Milk 03/23/2009, 3:30pm PDT                                                                                     Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 03/23/2009, 4:43pm PDT                                                                                         Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/23/2009, 11:16pm PDT                                                                                             Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 1:02am PDT                                                                                                 Urm... Peace. NT by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 1:03am PDT                                                                                                 Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Choson 03/24/2009, 7:26am PDT                                                                                                 I probably would misspell it "hey fever." I'm lazy that way. by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 10:34am PDT                                                                                                 Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 1:08am PDT                                                                                                 Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Vested Id 04/01/2009, 1:30am PDT                                                                                                     Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 3:40am PDT                                                                                                         the question is WHERE does he have it? NT by gruman 04/01/2009, 8:14am PDT                                                                             How can you will yourself to have willpower? NT by bink 03/23/2009, 6:14am PDT                                                                             British Columbia water by Fussbett 03/23/2009, 9:48pm PDT                                                                                 I'm gonna go against the grain and recommend that Jerry does kill himself. by I need clarification 03/23/2009, 10:59pm PDT                                                                                     The best ATOR of me yet. I'm nothing but flattered!! by I need clarification 03/23/2009, 11:25pm PDT                                                                                         I love how this thread turned into a celebration of life. Specifically, my life. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/24/2009, 9:37am PDT                                                                                             I'm sure everyone's just kidding you to avoid guilt from your potential suicide by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 5:09pm PDT                                                                                                 Almost like getting a new girlfriend, am I right? NT by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 6:08pm PDT                                                                                                     I'd rather be getting pity fucks than giving them.Does your wife thank you after NT by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 6:53pm PDT                                                                                                         It's more of a cash transaction. NT by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 6:54pm PDT                                                                                                         So, your landlord - you think it was him pitying you? by Curious Minds 03/25/2009, 11:17am PDT                                                                                                             He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 6:08pm PDT                                                                                                                 Re: He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Mischief Maker 03/25/2009, 7:50pm PDT                                                                                                                     More legal advice like this, plz. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/25/2009, 8:21pm PDT                                                                                                                     Re: He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 10:17pm PDT                                                                                                                         Do you wish us to send you money? NT by Gert Fröbe 03/25/2009, 11:01pm PDT                                                                                                                             No, I have people for that. I want your sympathies. NT by Quétinbec 03/26/2009, 1:53am PDT                                                                                             Vital excess. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/24/2009, 6:42pm PDT                                                                                 I'm as serious as a pill popping self induced heart attack my friend :( by bombMexico 03/25/2009, 12:42am PDT                                                                                     Frontpage material here^ by laudablepuss 03/25/2009, 8:06am PDT                                                                                         I would agree, thanks bm NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/25/2009, 7:48pm PDT                                                                                             The pictures are broken! by laudablepuss 03/27/2009, 3:14pm PDT                                                                                                 Re: The pictures are broken! by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 3:42pm PDT                                                                                                     also broken here, plus: by up with pod people 03/27/2009, 3:55pm PDT                                                                                                     You're using backslashes. BACKSLASHES?! NT by Fussbett 03/27/2009, 4:07pm PDT                                                                                                         Uh-oh NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 4:10pm PDT                                                                                                             SO FIRED! NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/27/2009, 4:14pm PDT                                                                                                                 All set now an-- did I just get fired from my web gig??? What will I tell Gram!? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 5:30pm PDT                                                                                             hey I'm published now it feels so good, ROYALTIES PLZ by bombMexico 03/31/2009, 5:05pm PDT                                                                                                 Thanks by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/01/2009, 9:20am PDT                                                                                                     Yeah, i'm going to need to call in that favor now. by bombMexico 04/09/2009, 10:30pm PDT                                                                                     Unlike Gandhi, you are a hero. NT by mark 03/25/2009, 8:44am PDT                                                                         First prize is consolation. Consolation prize is you're fired. NT by Ray of Light 03/24/2009, 7:31pm PDT                                                                     I don't have to do anything until April 15th? I'm in. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/23/2009, 3:44pm PDT                                             This is all Jonathan Blow(JOB)'s fault. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 9:37pm PDT                             ..................EW, GET OUT OF HERE MAN NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 9:19am PDT             Thanks. That's bullshit, but you saved me a lot of time determining that. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 9:01pm PDT                 Now make him promise to buy Braid with your points and not something he wants NT by bombMexico 03/18/2009, 10:26pm PDT                     Yeah, look Jerry, if I ever figure this out, I'm gonna need your word that you d NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 10:37pm PDT                         on't get Discs of Tron or something. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 10:38pm PDT                             Give him a l/p to whole new account that only has Braid. Braid: worth logging ou NT by Ray of Light 03/18/2009, 10:44pm PDT                                 Whoooooooop! NT by Mischief Maker 03/19/2009, 6:37am PDT             This is now fixed? by The Happiness Engine 04/09/2009, 11:20am PDT                 Re: This is now fixed? by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/14/2009, 11:34am PDT                     We must bomb Jerry day and night. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/14/2009, 11:36am PDT                         We must confound Jerry at every turn! NT by Entropy Stew 04/14/2009, 7:15pm PDT