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by bombMexico 03/31/2009, 5:05pm PDT |
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That the Post A Reply button links to and spoiled for me the BSG finale is barely even worth mentioning.
In fact, just to make you feel less guilty I'm going to spoil April 15th for you. You buy OutRun Arcade and sit in the lobby with everyone eager to play a 20 year old racing game (the lobby is empty). As you shoot Jerry a quick WTF MAN he informs you that unless it comes out of a cereal box Live Gold isn't really something he can afford, but he appreciates the effort and now you can both share thoughts on how much fun the single player is.
This will take a few moments to sink in before the anger washes over you and you run over to the computer and delete Caltrops as hard as you possibly can. There's a reason this nightmare scenario seems so eerily realistic, replace OutRun with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and ICJ with a slimmer more handsome man and that fool is me, and i didn't even have the power to delete Caltrops for revenge. On April 16th when people are midly put off or kind of indifferent to the disappearance of Caltrops, this guy will be nodding his head wisely, calling people cunts and bemoaning the state of affairs on neogaf or something :)
ALSO, if i can continue writing a longer complaint than the actual article, certain people might question whether a post that is at least 3/4 in-joke is appropriate for new (heh) posters cruising the front page. Certain people who thrived less on attention that is! I guess, psh, if you wanted, you could replace the part of the first sentence with
slow spiral of self destruction,
That would provide a quick crash course on Jerry Whorebach and also make the whole thing less of a fun post and more of a personal attack, which was my original intention before i got sidetracked.
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The Caltrops 100,000 Post Contest by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 9:47am PDT 
Man, that guy can't STOP winning. NT by Fussbett 03/18/2009, 9:50am PDT 
HE'S WINNIN ANY FUCKIN WAY *lights up menthol* NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 9:52am PDT 
I think Jerry is the best person to give that to. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 10:18am PDT 
100K, now out of curiosity ~how many were lost in the deletion NT by up with pod people 03/18/2009, 11:33am PDT 
All the good ones NT by CALTROPS PEAKED IN 2003 03/18/2009, 12:31pm PDT 
But we have the 2003 posts. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 1:42pm PDT 
HOORAY, THEN! NT by CALTROPS PEAKED IN 2003 03/18/2009, 1:48pm PDT 
Re: 100K, now out of curiosity ~how many were lost in the deletion by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 8:00pm PDT 
Awesome. I had a feeling not buying Braid would pay off for me! by Jerry Whorebach 03/18/2009, 5:44pm PDT 
Well $15 I mean come on, that's stupid, what dipshit would pay that? by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 5:53pm PDT 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( NT by Bald 03/18/2009, 7:15pm PDT 
How the fuck do I gift Braid to Jerry in Xbox Live? THIS IS BULLSHIT NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 8:20pm PDT 
You can gift him the points, but not the game itself. NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/18/2009, 8:24pm PDT 
Xbawcks should learn from Meast. O_O by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 8:50pm PDT 
Sorry, I need all my points for those sweet sweet Rock Band DLC tracks. NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/18/2009, 9:29pm PDT 
I wonder if ICJ has spare points. O_O NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 5:41am PDT 
GOT SOME POINTS MAN? I GOT THESE CHEESE BURGERS, I WILL SUCK YOU COCK NT by Homeless Guy who doesn't exist 03/19/2009, 7:11am PDT 
He was given cheeseburgers and doesn't even like them, but by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2009, 8:00am PDT 
Jerry doesn't need your money; he needs your love. NT by Quétinbec 03/19/2009, 5:23pm PDT 
(But he'll take the money.) NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2009, 5:27pm PDT 
Re: (But he'll take the money.) by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2009, 8:30pm PDT 
Jerry, do the right thing and turn down the points! NT by Quétinbec 03/19/2009, 9:14pm PDT 
Hey guys Quentin Beck has some advice for me, it's about doing the right thing. by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2009, 11:33pm PDT 
This is my new desktop background NT by E. L. Koba 03/20/2009, 12:56am PDT 
You know ICJ would have insisted and you could've looked like a gentleman. NT by Quétinbec 03/20/2009, 7:15pm PDT 
This isn't personal, this is CONTEST BUSINESS, and I take it VERY SERIOUSLY. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/20/2009, 10:31pm PDT 
Update: it's gonna be on Steam on March 30. I can wait if you can. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/21/2009, 1:36pm PDT 
Tell him you've got a doctor's appointment on the 30th. Play up the liver thing. NT by Metroplex 03/21/2009, 6:16pm PDT 
I can do Youtubes now, but Braid might be pushing it (my video card). by Jerry Whorebach 03/21/2009, 6:31pm PDT 
THIS IS A TRAP, dear god I hope I'm in time by bombMexico 03/22/2009, 2:08am PDT 
He's trying to trade his gift in for friendship! How cheap do you come, ICJ? NT by Quétinbec 03/22/2009, 4:04am PDT 
What? Jerry's STILL trying to kill himself? by Mischief Maker 03/22/2009, 8:07am PDT 
Choice of method is a fairly reliable indicator of gender by Ray of Light 03/22/2009, 9:36am PDT 
Suicide! by Quétinbec 03/22/2009, 5:24pm PDT 
Street rat! by Zsenitan 03/23/2009, 5:52am PDT 
Comedy GOLD by Where do I send the check? 03/23/2009, 8:20am PDT 
It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Milk 03/23/2009, 3:30pm PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 03/23/2009, 4:43pm PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/23/2009, 11:16pm PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 1:02am PDT 
Urm... Peace. NT by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 1:03am PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Choson 03/24/2009, 7:26am PDT 
I probably would misspell it "hey fever." I'm lazy that way. by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 10:34am PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 1:08am PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Vested Id 04/01/2009, 1:30am PDT 
Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 3:40am PDT 
the question is WHERE does he have it? NT by gruman 04/01/2009, 8:14am PDT 
How can you will yourself to have willpower? NT by bink 03/23/2009, 6:14am PDT 
British Columbia water by Fussbett 03/23/2009, 9:48pm PDT 
I'm gonna go against the grain and recommend that Jerry does kill himself. by I need clarification 03/23/2009, 10:59pm PDT 
The best ATOR of me yet. I'm nothing but flattered!! by I need clarification 03/23/2009, 11:25pm PDT 
I love how this thread turned into a celebration of life. Specifically, my life. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/24/2009, 9:37am PDT 
I'm sure everyone's just kidding you to avoid guilt from your potential suicide by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 5:09pm PDT 
Almost like getting a new girlfriend, am I right? NT by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 6:08pm PDT 
I'd rather be getting pity fucks than giving them.Does your wife thank you after NT by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 6:53pm PDT 
It's more of a cash transaction. NT by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 6:54pm PDT 
So, your landlord - you think it was him pitying you? by Curious Minds 03/25/2009, 11:17am PDT 
He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 6:08pm PDT 
Re: He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Mischief Maker 03/25/2009, 7:50pm PDT 
More legal advice like this, plz. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/25/2009, 8:21pm PDT 
Re: He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 10:17pm PDT 
Do you wish us to send you money? NT by Gert Fröbe 03/25/2009, 11:01pm PDT 
No, I have people for that. I want your sympathies. NT by Quétinbec 03/26/2009, 1:53am PDT 
Vital excess. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/24/2009, 6:42pm PDT 
I'm as serious as a pill popping self induced heart attack my friend :( by bombMexico 03/25/2009, 12:42am PDT 
Frontpage material here^ by laudablepuss 03/25/2009, 8:06am PDT 
I would agree, thanks bm NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/25/2009, 7:48pm PDT 
The pictures are broken! by laudablepuss 03/27/2009, 3:14pm PDT 
Re: The pictures are broken! by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 3:42pm PDT 
also broken here, plus: by up with pod people 03/27/2009, 3:55pm PDT 
You're using backslashes. BACKSLASHES?! NT by Fussbett 03/27/2009, 4:07pm PDT 
Uh-oh NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 4:10pm PDT 
SO FIRED! NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/27/2009, 4:14pm PDT 
All set now an-- did I just get fired from my web gig??? What will I tell Gram!? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 5:30pm PDT 
hey I'm published now it feels so good, ROYALTIES PLZ by bombMexico 03/31/2009, 5:05pm PDT 
Thanks by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/01/2009, 9:20am PDT 
Yeah, i'm going to need to call in that favor now. by bombMexico 04/09/2009, 10:30pm PDT 
Unlike Gandhi, you are a hero. NT by mark 03/25/2009, 8:44am PDT 
First prize is consolation. Consolation prize is you're fired. NT by Ray of Light 03/24/2009, 7:31pm PDT 
I don't have to do anything until April 15th? I'm in. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/23/2009, 3:44pm PDT 
This is all Jonathan Blow(JOB)'s fault. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 9:37pm PDT 
..................EW, GET OUT OF HERE MAN NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 9:19am PDT 
Thanks. That's bullshit, but you saved me a lot of time determining that. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 9:01pm PDT 
Now make him promise to buy Braid with your points and not something he wants NT by bombMexico 03/18/2009, 10:26pm PDT 
Yeah, look Jerry, if I ever figure this out, I'm gonna need your word that you d NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 10:37pm PDT 
on't get Discs of Tron or something. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 10:38pm PDT 
Give him a l/p to whole new account that only has Braid. Braid: worth logging ou NT by Ray of Light 03/18/2009, 10:44pm PDT 
Whoooooooop! NT by Mischief Maker 03/19/2009, 6:37am PDT 
This is now fixed? by The Happiness Engine 04/09/2009, 11:20am PDT 
Re: This is now fixed? by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/14/2009, 11:34am PDT 
We must bomb Jerry day and night. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/14/2009, 11:36am PDT 
We must confound Jerry at every turn! NT by Entropy Stew 04/14/2009, 7:15pm PDT 
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