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by Senor Barborito 01/16/2005, 11:43am PST |
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So this is a game about SB.
One of the first long conversations I ever had with SB was about swords. This was years ago, like back when his chatroom was still up or something. Anyway he wanted to know if the Weaponsmith would make him a couple of swords. What kind, I asked. He described what he wanted. The closest actual cutting weapon approximation to what he was talking about were the thick hatchet-like knives/swords that was used to crack open helmets or armor on already dead men in feudal Japan. What on earth would you want with a pair of those, SB?
They're ninja swords, he explained. I explained back that they were too thick, heavy, slow, and short to do anybody any good against anything but a dead man's armor, or possibly a very hard cheese. No, he enthused. They're ninja swords. If you cross them, a certain way of course but if you cross them, you can create the perfect defense. (I will never forget this conversation ever for the rest of my life.)
Perfect defense? In The Book of Five Rings Musashi describes the usefulness of short swords in closed surroundings, there are some well-developed iaido short sword maneuvers, etc. etc., I continued, but nothing I've heard of, even in the fruitiest reaches of what gets taught now as "ninjutsu", involves two slow-ass armor crackers. Well, he said...
You have to move really fast.
That's the secret. If you cross the swords and move really fast you can beat anything.
After I stopped laughing, and calling over the Weaponsmith so he could laugh, and calling my brother and father so they could laugh, I tried to tell him that not even in a straight up sword-vs-sword fight would that shit ever work - much less against, you know, a gun. A perfect defense is being the first guy to sign a urinal, not dicking around with some sharpened mallets.
It wasn't until a year and a half later that he finally admitted I was right about that. Up to that point he would still, from time to time, attempt to draw me into a discussion about the viability of his crossed ninja swords theory - always in the strict confidence of IRC or AIM, never where men could see it.
Then there was the time veronica (who fucked Umberto) was certain I was trying to steal her man. |
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Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by FABIO 01/13/2005, 2:26pm PST 
Beyond Good & Evil OR Psi-ops NT by FABIO 01/13/2005, 2:27pm PST
If someone has this beaten, I'd appreciate a total plot summary. NT by William H. Hayt, Jr. 01/13/2005, 2:48pm PST
1 problem, those games look awful :( NT by Question Asker 01/13/2005, 11:14pm PST
Your loss. PSI-Ops is awesome (except for the last stage). by whydirt 01/13/2005, 11:51pm PST
beauty fades, gameplay is forever NT by FABIO 01/14/2005, 1:03am PST
Final Fantasy VI's beauty never faded :( NT by Question Asker 01/14/2005, 1:23am PST
All the Final Fantasy games suck by whydirt 01/14/2005, 1:41am PST
try playing the opera sequence again today :( NT by FABIO 01/14/2005, 1:59am PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by Mysterio 01/13/2005, 3:01pm PST
yup NT by FABIO 01/13/2005, 3:17pm PST
You're pretty much right. Oddworld: Stranger is the best stealth game yet. by Eyo 01/13/2005, 3:12pm PST
I think it's about time the industry admitted by FABIO 01/13/2005, 3:28pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Eyo 01/13/2005, 3:53pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by FABIO 01/13/2005, 10:30pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Creexul :( 01/13/2005, 10:59pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Mysterio 01/13/2005, 11:15pm PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Creexul :( 01/14/2005, 12:58am PST
Re: I think it's about time the industry admitted by Mysterio 01/14/2005, 2:37am PST
doesn't seem that bad by FABIO 01/14/2005, 9:35am PST
if you REALLY want to take a look at scary MGS3 fanboys by FABIO 01/14/2005, 2:33pm PST
That is where no one is being ironic. IRONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! NT by Creexul :( 01/14/2005, 3:18pm PST
That's POE news, I don't know how much that counts as "anyone." :( NT by Creexul :( 01/14/2005, 3:15pm PST
The stealth isnt even that hard by The Joosh 01/14/2005, 8:31pm PST
Thief 3 is bearable, and Riddick by Lurker Shoomoser 01/14/2005, 12:10am PST
"Robbing The Cradle" alone makes Thief 3 my favorite stealth-oriented game ever NT by curst 01/14/2005, 9:26am PST
Re: "Robbing The Cradle" by who knows 03/26/2005, 12:12pm PST
Also try "Fallout" and "Quake" good too they much sing. NT by Torgor Thermopopopopstosholous 03/26/2005, 12:35pm PST
Hahahaha yeah that guy was STUPID. NT by Creexul :( 03/26/2005, 12:42pm PST
great review. most accurate and succinct MGS3 review i've ever read. by Question Asker 01/13/2005, 11:06pm PST
It helps to beat the game once so you know where the guards are by The Joosh 01/14/2005, 7:13pm PST
review of the controls by FABIO 01/16/2005, 8:59am PST
Summary: Video games still too hard for Fabio. by Lizard_King 02/13/2005, 7:19pm PST
breakdown of the cutscenes for William Hayt Jr. by FABIO 01/16/2005, 9:19am PST
Re: breakdown of the cutscenes for William Hayt Jr. by The Joosh 01/16/2005, 11:07am PST
more counter-intuitiveness by FABIO 01/16/2005, 12:13pm PST
Re: more counter-intuitiveness by Creexul :( 01/17/2005, 11:43pm PST
Re: breakdown of the cutscenes for William Hayt Jr. by Senor Barborito 01/16/2005, 11:43am PST
that pretty much sums up every SB debate ever by FABIO 01/16/2005, 12:20pm PST
Excellent post NT by Mysterio 01/16/2005, 5:23pm PST
This should be archived somehow. LIKE WIKIPEDIA NT by Creexul :( 01/18/2005, 2:03am PST
I just checked the Wikipedia entry for Senor Barborito. by whydirt 01/18/2005, 2:19am PST
Ah, the memories (tear) NT by Lizard_King 02/13/2005, 7:26pm PST
Thank you. NT by William H. Hayt, Jr. 01/16/2005, 2:57pm PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by somari 01/27/2005, 5:45pm PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by Mister Helper 01/27/2005, 6:56pm PST
Re: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by stoli bomb 02/13/2005, 4:02pm PST
not worth $50 game purchase credit ----> Stoli Bomb NT by FABIO 02/13/2005, 5:22pm PST
Re: not worth $50 game purchase credit ----> Stoli Bomb by stoli bomb 02/13/2005, 5:25pm PST
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