Caltrops - A Mind Forever Voyaging - Re: Beating the beatin'

Forum Overview :: A Mind Forever Voyaging

by Mysterio 01/18/2005, 9:46pm PST

Last night, a guy came over to try out an internet poker scam he'd thought up. After he left, all I could think about was him, so I didn't want to wank and couldn't test my masturbation piss-dodge.
The meeting in the morning went poorly, yet I did not wank?!?! How am I supposed to make sense of that? There should be more important factors when (God/karma is?) determining my success in a meeting than how recently I've masturbated, but I'm paranoid enough about my wanks that they become a pretty big deal in everything I do. They're the main reason anyting goes wrong. The reason Bush won the election was because I masturbated three times that night. Do you see how that works?!? Do you see who's really running the show here? I know it's crazy thinking, but there are parts of my brain that seem pretty convinced. When I do not wank, I feel better about myself, God or Karma feels better about me, and the cum in my balls makes me fiesty and daring. I should have been a shoe in at this meeting. But, as I later reasoned, we're only talking about two days worth of cum, here. I guarantee you Sir Edmond Hilary climbed everest with more than two days worth of cum in his balls. You hear of coaches who ban sex before the night of a big game. They know the score. Whether god is counting the drops, or it's just purely biological, cum counts.
Maybe that's all there is to it. The amount of cum in your balls at a particular time and a particular place. That makes things a lot simpler. Then I can just 'empty the tank' when I don't have a lot of living to do, and break out the piss dodge when something important comes up. I'd probably have to stop believing in God, though, because I'd basically be making a plan to jerk off for the rest of my life, and that kinda flies in the face of a lot of his stuff. Up until now, I've been giving myself and him the impression that every wank will be my last. I don't delete my porn archive after 'giving up' wanking because it's such a precious monument, not because I plan on wanking to it again in the future like a thousand times before. Even Hitler, a total asshole, didn't blow up the Eifel tower after he gave up Paris. If I deleted my porn, in that regard, I would be worse than hitler. My self esteem is a big part of the decision to give up wanking, and unfavorable Hitler comparisons damage it, so the archive stays. That's logic, motherfuckers!
Anyway, we'll see how the piss-dodge goes later tonight. I picked up 150MB of some pretty racy porn on emule and, as you know, I've now got three days worth of the white stuff down my pants.