Caltrops - Cabaret Voltron - Humo en el Auga

Forum Overview :: Cabaret Voltron

by The Happiness Engine 01/19/2005, 3:40am PST

Troubled Teen: Man, Jesus is boring. I'd rather ride my BMX bicycle, smoke reefer, and get handjobs.

Missionary: Whoa, there! You think Jesus is boring?! Well, peep this, homeslice. One time Jesus was chilling at this party, when ... what? Aw, hell no. The guy throwing the party didn't buy enough wine. Everybody was about to leave, when out of nowhere, Jesus made a whole grip of wine, and some tasty-ass snacks. Having a guy around who can create a keg out of thin air would be pretty helpful to somebody who can't buy beer, yo.

Troubled Teen: I never knew Jesus liked to party.

Missionary: Word. (Of the Lord!)

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Feminist: Jesus is the figurehead of a patriarchal religion that teaches women that they are second to men in all things.

Missionary: You're really pretty.

Feminist: What? Really?

Missionary: Yeah, I mean, it's not an obvious kind of prettiness—it's subtler. You look a little like Kate Winslet.

Feminist: (sobs) Nobody has ever said that to me before. That's why I'm so angry.

Missionary: I bet you've had some pretty bad experiences with men. But I'd like to give you a good one. What are you doing on Friday?

Feminist: I was going to go to a Take Back The Night march but ...

Missionary: ... you'd rather go to Applebee's and get to know me better? You don't mind if I bring my wingman do you? His name is Our Lord.