Forum Overview :: Rants
I found some abandoned clothes in my yard. by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/22/2009, 9:16pm PDT
Back in January, an odd thing happened - there was a homeless guy that decided to make the area between my hedges his home base. I'll admit it was a bit creepy! However, the last seven months have been relatively drama-free in my little area of Colorado since then.

We've had an extremely wet May and June, and it only recently started drying out. I didn't bother to turn my sprinkler system on until this last weekend. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the kind of plastic used in sprinkler necks, but the simple act of walking by them is enough to cause them to shatter into a million pieces, and/or practically explode.

The sprinklers ran a couple times, but I was able to hear them go last night and one had clearly broken - the sound of water simply being pumped and not sprayed was obvious. I definitely wanted to fix it tonight.

While all this is going on, I've been shooting photos around town, at dusk, for Cryptozookeeper each night. The idea was to fix the sprinkler in the backyard, leave via the gate, and take pics as I walk towards downtown.

First up was the sunflower, which I finally decided was big enough for a game about tampering with genetics:

I see now that I didn't include the ground, so you can't tell how tall it really is. I live in a bi-level, and it's almost as tall as my house. Gardening's a good hobby, mates. It's out of doors, challenging work, plant the right stuff an' I'll guarantee you'll not go hungry.

I put the new sprinkler head in, and went inside to verify that it worked. That station ran correctly for a few minutes. Satisfied, I continued, and the next photo was towards the gate.

OHHH, I said after the flash went off and my eyes adjusted. What the fuck was back there? You can't see it in that photo, and I was a bit surprised, but essentially, there was a few sets of abandoned clothes back there.

I gathered them up and threw them on the patio. They are all size 5 or 6, and the tags read "girls." What the fuck! Here are a couple pics:

So I've got no idea what's going on. I know for a fact that they weren't there on Monday, the last day I was out doing stuff in the lawn back there. My theories are basically as follows:

1. Some girls decided to hop the fence and run through my sprinklers last night. At four in the morning. Why they didn't retrieve their clothes, I have no idea.
2. Someone wanted to get rid of some clothes and just said, "heheh" and threw them over my fence.
3. The homeless guy is killing neighborhood females, and trying to implicate me by throwing the clothes onto my property.

The other thing is that they smell strongly of fabric softener. Last year, when I lived with a woman, she did all that stuff regarding laundry, which a single guy never would. I think the Snuggle bear was involved? But yeah, they positively reek of the love of a caring mother. Which I know makes me sound like a psycho who immediately thrust the garmets into his face, but I feel this clue will be valuable to my defense when I get dragged into a court for this, somehow.

I am interested in any theories as to what's going on here.

the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
I found some abandoned clothes in my yard. by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/22/2009, 9:16pm PDT NEW
    Your Sunflower is actually a Triffid. NT by Mischief Maker 07/22/2009, 9:19pm PDT NEW
    You might've missed some naked skanks running through your yard. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/22/2009, 9:26pm PDT NEW
    We found your DNA on those girls clothes, Jonesy. Tell us where you buried them NT by Lenny Briscoe 07/22/2009, 10:24pm PDT NEW
        *fidgets nervously* NT by Giant Fucking Sunflower 07/23/2009, 12:47am PDT NEW
    War of The Worlds passed through your yard (way to sleep in, GARFIELD) by bombMexico 07/23/2009, 1:31am PDT NEW
    T-shirts: "I'm so perfect it scares me" "Tell me something I DON'T already know" NT by Justifiable homicide, no jury would 07/23/2009, 5:23am PDT NEW
        haha, I thought that, too by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/23/2009, 7:59pm PDT NEW
    Oh yeah sorry, that was me. by Zsenitan 07/23/2009, 6:05am PDT NEW
    Probably those awful Finch children again NT by Siskel and Ebert 07/23/2009, 9:40am PDT NEW
    Oh yeah? Well I have a thistle taller than I am! by Entropy Stew 07/23/2009, 11:48am PDT NEW
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