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by Dana Barros 08/29/2010, 10:30am PDT |
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I'm a 32 y/o truck driver from Lancashire, England. I'm going to write a story for you that is a complete lie. I've only once left England and I've never been to Thailand, nor do I ever intend to visit.
If the story reminds you of someone, please don't mention this. I won't reply to anyone accusing me of being somone else and if the accusations are persistent and OBVIOUS, I'll stop posting. Hopefully in time, I won't need to take such a hard line. For now I do.
The story is a complete fabrication involving no real places or people. You can criticize the behaviour of the CHARACTER in the story, but do NOT connect this character with anyone you may know or have known. Again, this story is a COMPLETE fabrication.
If you feel the need to reply, please do not change the subject heading to anything that would give away the nature of this thread. I don't want anyone getting hurt as a result of these untrue stories. If anyone is at any danger of being hurt as a result of this thread, I will not post again.
I know this is Caltrops but let's see if we can make this work. Zseni, if it's OK, I'll get your chat details off ICJ regardless of how things go here.
Again, the following story is a complete lie. Nothing about it is true.
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The following happened during my final two days in Bangkok:
Pool is a common activity in whore bars because it gives you a good chance to ogle the girl you're thinking about taking home as she's bending over to take her shot (you can also see her face under brighter, more revealing lights). Also, because whores practice a lot, they usually beat you (although I'm a below average pool player) and it's pretty sexy to be beaten by a girl at a sport. The whore who'd invited me to play wasn't anything fantastic, though, and I wanted something special for my second to last night in Bangkok, so I left after one game.
I decided to head for this courtyard thing which comes off the main strip of the largest western-targeted whore district in Bangkok and which has three stories of 'go-go' bars (naked whores dancing on stage). On the ground floor, there were bars in the open air around at the centre of the courtyard. At the first bar, a bar girl with no make up got in my face and told me to sit at her bar. I was impressed by her, but she wasn't beautiful, so I did a lap of the bottom floor before returning to her bar. There were about 6-8 whores at this bar and one old man on the other side. Unfortunately, the whore directly to the left of me (a short, chubby, round faced whore) took my return as a come on to her. Actually, I was much more interested in the lesbian bar tender who'd first approached me. The lesbian was wearing a black tank top, had a tattoo of a cool fish across her entire right shoulder (a normal looking fish, not some gay fierce or ethnic looking fish), jeans and grungy sneakers. She was dressed cool, which is unusual for Thai women. She said her name, "Pla" means fish. She also swaggered like a gangster. It's something I find attractive. That's one of the few cool things about whoring - it gives you a chance to spend time with people you'd never otherwise spend time with. I'd never date or marry someone who acted like the girl off the 5th season of the wire, but I love to sit down and talk shit with (and fuck) her.
So anyway, the girls at this bar turned out to be quite hilarious. They took out these games they play to kill the time. Mostly dice games. I was throwing quite a bit of money around at this stage. I was buying 5 girls drinks and ordered in overpriced sushi at their request. When I was drunk enough, I started talking about sex. I was very matter of fact about it. The lesbian was a bar tender. I wanted to fuck her for 3 reasons:
- she was a lesbian (it would be a different and hilarious thing to tell people... right?)
- she moved like a gangster
- she dressed well
- she was unlike any girl I'd ever met in Thailand
I also wanted to talk to her and spend time with her to see what makes her 'tick'. She told me she was on the bar and didn't like men. I was, like, "Do you think any of these girl like these men? What difference does it make?" She told me she'd only once fucked a 'customer' and that was some Japanese guy. I didn't believe her at the time. I asked her how much it would cost. She said 3,000 baht (~$100) for the night. I argued her down to 2,500. The other whores thought it was hilarious that I'd choose her.
I also found out that she had a mechanical engineering degree but got in trouble with the police for bringing meth into the country. From what I understand, she was no longer able to work legally in Thailand for two years and not able to leave the country for 10 years. Her story sounded weird. When someone tells me they're an engineer and I want to sound like I kind of know what engineering's about, I try to make a joke about differential equations. In her case, I wasn't sure she really was an engineer (although, it is a very strange thing for her to to lie about considering she seemed like she couldn't give a fuck about impressing me) so I was trying to think of a way of asking her about differential equations to test her but I was very drunk and couldn't remember the words 'differential equations' - I could only think of quadratic equations which are much easier, right? Hahaha. Anyway, I think she thought we'd just talk after we got back to the hotel (because a big part of our conversation was how people think I'm gay) but I insisted we fuck. Like all whore sex, it was awful. She was very tight which makes me believe her claim about only having fucked one other guy, though. After we finished, she checked her phone and said her Mum needed to be picked up. It was 2am and I thought this was a total fob-off as she was supposed to stay the night, so I paid her 1500 and said goodbye. Later, I freaked out that she'd stolen my passport but I'd actually put it on top of the cupboard. Chill the fuck out, man.
The next day when I was thinking about it, I started to worry if maybe she was a ladyboy. Four things convince me she wasn't. Firstly, she wasn't wearing any make up unlike a ladyboy; secondly, she acted like a man unlike a ladyboy; thirdly, he pussy became wetter as the fuck progressed; forthly, she sounded like a girl.
On my final night, I went back to the first bar on the ground of the go-go bar courtyard. The lesbian wasn't there. The girl at the till said she'd had problems with her family so hadn't been in all day. Perhaps she was telling the truth that night? It doesn't matter.
I was playing connect 4 with a whore from last night there. After a few games, I suggested to make things more interesting, we put two chips down at at a time. She was like, "[OMG!] We've never played like that before!!" I shit you not: a crowd of whores gathered to watch this new style of connect four! Hahaha. It got embarrassing, even, because someone would win and they'd all scream like it was really important and give high fives and draw attention to us playing this stupid game and make me feel like a fag.
Anyway, after I got a bit drunker, I told connect 4 whore my plan - to find a girl at a go-go bar. She said she'd go to help me, but her 'mama-san' (who you can tell as the only woman who won't smile at you when you look at her) said she could only go to the bars downstairs (because one of the short time hotels was on the second floor and I guess she was scared we'd go off to negotiate a fuck privately without paying the bar fine).
So, we we went to three of these go-go bars downstairs. The girls were good to great but not fantastic. Here's the point I'm at with whoring right now: I want something special. A lesbian was special. A lesbian isn't something you get to fuck everyday. I don't want to pay for a girl I could fuck for free in a normal country.
The girl I was with kept talking to me about ladyboys. As much as I thought she'd be helpful, it was too hard to understand her in the go-go bars because the music was so loud. After the third bar, we went back to our bar to drink and talk about things. After that, I went to the second story by myself. The mamasan recommended a particular place.
Once there, a waitress selling pingpong balls came over. It's not what you'd think. It costs 100 baht for a basket of 5 pingpong balls. You throw these to girls you like and they can redeem them at the bar for 20 baht.
Two girls at this bar stood out to me: a young girl sitting next to an Asian 'guy' and a very exotic(?) looking girl on the stage. So, I ask this fat lady what the procedure is. She asks me which girl I like and I try to describe where the girl I like is standing on stage without pointing at her. So, the fat lady pulls out a laser pointer and lasers the girl, and I was like, "NO! DON'T DO THAT! DON'T POINT AT HER!" Hahahahahhaha! The fat lady thought I was a freak.
I then ask her if the other young girl is with that guy. She says the guy is a mamasan. So I ask if we can talk to that girl. The girl comes over. Her English is fucking TERRIBLE.
Points about this girl:
I'd seen her eating downstairs earlier. She struck me as strange because she was very young but was caked with makeup. Why do you need so much make up when you're young? This is something that freaked me out the next day.
She had kind of a retro-60's haircut which - again - seemed weird for someone so young.
She had tits and a nice body (although, because she wasn't on the stage, I hadn't seen her tits out at the time I agreed to go with her.)
There were quite a few old men around and I hated them. I wanted to put them to shame so when the waitress came back with the change from the barfine (400 baht) I put all the change into pingpong balls (20 balls). When my balls arrived, I gave them to nearby whores and told them to throw the balls onto the stage. Some didn't and just kept theirs. But my whore was selective about who she threw the balls to which I thought was cool. That way, if anyone had been bitchy to her, she could punish them. I ended up buying shitloads more balls while we were finishing our drinks. I poured one basket on stage. That shit caused a raucus. Like throwing bread to pigeons. Pretty hilarious. I probably spent $100 on ping pong balls that night.
Once my girl finished her drink, she got 'changed' so we could go. She put on a silk dressing gown like a boxer would wear - I guess with the name of the bar on it. Quite embarrassing for me to walk with her but fortunately the hotel was on the same floor as the bar, so it was only a short walk.
I shower and then she showers. I'm pretty drunk. I'd drunk a lot at the first bar, and then I had to have at least a couple of drinks at every other go-go bar.
She comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. I'm in a towel too. She just lies on the bed with the towel on her. I tried to talk to her but her English was too bad. I asked her how old she was. She said, "I lie." I said, "I'm 28. So how old are you?" Again, she said, "I lie." I said, "That's OK. All whores lie about their age." She wouldn't have understood me. I stopped asking questions then to prevent moral issues arising.
Reasons I don't think she was underage:
1. She had a tit job. That was evident after she took off her bra and I got to play with them. Who'd give a girl under 16 years a tit job?
That's it, really. Her pussy was pretty loose. She looked young, but she had a tit job and was working at a 'respectable' go-go bar. So.... all good, right?
She fucked me without lubricant (which seems to be the norm in Bangkok and is probably the reason so many condoms break (I had three breakages over ~15 fucks with 6 women)). It was an awful fuck. She did nothing. My dick was pretty limp from all the drinking and her lack of effort.
There was a standout moment during the fuck that has been fucking with my head ever since. She was looking away when I was about to cum. I said I wanted to see her face. She didn't understand so I grabbed her by the chin so I could look at her face, but when I let go of her chin, she turned it from me very quickly. I remember thinking shortly after that I should be very affected by what just happened but I wasn't. Perhaps because I was drunk. But the next day, and even now, I think about her turning away and what it means and who she really was and how old she was and why she started doing this and what she thought of me.
The condom broke. It was a weird break though because it broke at the tip. Usually when they break, you're left with the bottom half of a condom on your dick or it disappears up the girl. When I showed her this, she rushed to the bathroom.
At the entrance of the hotel, I shook her hand as I said goodbye. I then went downstairs to talk discuss what had happened with the whores at the first bar. They told me not to worry and again ordered overpriced sushi at my expense.
At about 12, I left them and made my way to the soapy massage parlour. At this parlour, all the girls were in bikinis sitting on big wooden steps like in a sauna. The woman at 'reception' led me and said, "Don't be shy, they can't see you. This is a two way mirror." I thought she was joking but there was actually a very clear two way mirror in front of them. She said there were two groups of girls: one for 2500baht (that I'd just been looking at) and another group for 1700 baht (that I hadn't noticed to the side). However, the cheaper group to the side had its door open, so half the girls could see me looking at them. Fuck that! Also, this is my last night in Bangkok. I'm not looking to save money.
So, I try to choose. I'm disappointed that they all look shittier than the girls in the go-go bars. There are probably 15 girls in the 2500 baht room. I ask the boss lady which one she thinks I should have. I say that she knows them better than me. She says, "If you want experience..." and then she presses the intercom and talks in Thai and this older whore stands up ready to answer my questions. I was like, "NO! You don't need to do that!" It was just creepy. So, I told her I'd take 'P' (they all had red badges with letters on them).
I'm writing way too much so to summarize the soapy massage: you bath together. She covers herself in oil or soap or something and rubs herself against you in the bath. She had a tough time with me because I was drunk, very tired, and fresh from a pretty bad fuck. I couldn't get an erection in the bath. Fortuantely, she then lay me on the bed and gave me a massage for 45 minutes.
After that, she sucked my dick; I got hard and we fucked. Then we talked for the final 30 minutes about her job, this massage parlour, and her future.
The end.
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I hope you enjoyed my completely ficitonal story. Let's be discreet now. |
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Inception 2 release date announced by Dana Barros 08/29/2010, 10:30am PDT 
You never learn. You are the stupidest wanker on the planet. NT by Caltrops 08/29/2010, 2:10pm PDT 
Quetinbec Claire Irene Bahrain? by Sword of Justice 08/29/2010, 2:14pm PDT 
No personal information on possible posters, please! NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/29/2010, 4:28pm PDT 
Maybe he was just mad that no release date for Inception 2 was posted. NT by Souffle of Pain 08/29/2010, 8:19pm PDT 
This is why we can't have nice things. NT by Noi Dau Don 08/29/2010, 5:01pm PDT 
please ip ban the cables NT by mysterio swarm 08/29/2010, 5:09pm PDT 
wrom is now so delusional he's replying to his own ators as other ators NT by Sword of Justice 08/30/2010, 10:39pm PDT 
WROMROMROMRORMOWMRORMOWRMOWMROWMRWOMROOMSMOSMROSMMSMM NT by Gourd of Sustenance 08/30/2010, 10:52pm PDT 
And it looks like he's lost the capacity for rational thought. :3 NT by Jhoh Cause..... 2 08/31/2010, 1:59am PDT 
Do you faggots answer the door screaming "WROM?" NT by Worm 08/31/2010, 9:22am PDT 
We don't answer the door. :( NT by Jhoh Cause..... 2 08/31/2010, 6:30pm PDT 
Story sounds like it's at fanfiction-level. by Groiny 08/29/2010, 6:06pm PDT 
That's true, Cuba does have a strict no-AIDS policy NT by Oh wait, he was in Thailand 08/29/2010, 8:38pm PDT 
HOLY SHIT YOU CRACKED THE CASE WITH YOUR NERD RESEARCH NT by GROINY'S JOKE IS NOW WORTHLESS TRAS 08/29/2010, 8:40pm PDT 
Oh, that was a joke? I thought groiny was just a fucking retard NT by Oh wait, he was in Thailand 08/30/2010, 7:59am PDT 
But then it turned out that you were the fucking retard. NT by Today is full of surprises. 08/30/2010, 8:43am PDT 
So you liked the "not admitted because of AIDS" joke? NT by Jokes smart people like 08/30/2010, 10:36am PDT 
Pool's closed! NT by (July 2006) 08/30/2010, 10:51am PDT 
No, but it's way better than the guy who's fact checking it. NT by Like a goddamn nerd. 08/30/2010, 10:54am PDT 
They're just getting mad at each other now. :3 NT by Jhoh Cause..... 2 08/30/2010, 10:22pm PDT 
Sometimes the anonymous posts NT by have nothing to do with you. 08/30/2010, 11:26pm PDT 
But this one sure does (hooooo). NT by Jhoh Cause..... 2 08/31/2010, 2:02am PDT 
So goddamned cool people defend jokes they don't even like? NT by Helpful tips 08/31/2010, 12:56am PDT 
Pedantic tiresome NT by nerd 08/31/2010, 2:28am PDT 
Yeah, the nerd volley was much more erudite NT by Why can't anyone lose gracefully? 08/31/2010, 8:34am PDT 
Here it is a again, never more true. by You're a nerd. 08/31/2010, 9:49pm PDT 
So you're insisting on calling that a joke, then? NT by What's NOT a joke to geniuses? 09/01/2010, 11:01am PDT 
Are you autistic or have aspergers? NT by The nerdiest of the nerds. 09/01/2010, 12:12pm PDT 
Are YOU have aspergers?? NT by Think about what you're defending. 09/01/2010, 10:59pm PDT 
I was disappointed the soapy massage got glossed over for time. by Fussbett 08/30/2010, 7:20pm PDT 
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