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by FABIO 03/02/2005, 11:16pm PST |
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Bill Dungsroman wrote:
HOWEVER! Taking what you say at face value, it is funny that you can take a female (seemingly) at random, instruct her to write about whatever she wants, and that's the crap you get. But what do dudes commonly write about? Anything?
The guys were pretty much just rehashes of done to death fiction plots. The big difference between them and the women was that the women could only rehash the Liftetime channel vault.
One was some extended 1984'ish torture scene, then the TWIST turned out to be it was just to get information on a game of battleship two dictators were playing against each other (seriously).
Another was some group of friends working at a coffee shop that they decide to rob so they hide out in some motel in the desert. He just ended it there with "this is a work in progress" which was always shorthand for "I had an incomplete idea and couldn't come up with a conclusion".
One was about a breakup, but instead of the usual dreary wrist-slitting drama fare of the chick authors, this one was a comedy because the guy was a snivelling pussy apologettically trying to break up with his girlfriend. So of course he deserves to get punched and knocked out by her. No cheating on her, no screwing her over, just an honest upfront breakup. Every girl in the class, including the female TA, saw nothing wrong with this after dozens of tales about horrible horrible MEN who were drunken wife beaters that deserved to be shot. I pointed this out and the TA actually asked me, "Why? Do you think he (the honest breaking guy who got knocked out) didn't deserve that?"
Another was about a man inventing a new series of robot. The first series died off because they didn't have a reason to live. The second series had a "religion chip" installed in them by "Doctor Theocroces" (he swore he wasn't going for any play on words in the name) by King Wenschalis (again no intention) to give them faith, but they ended up killing each other over religious differences. So the current series was being given a "reason chip" and.....they reasoned that they didn't need humans! ONOS! Strangely this story came only a month or two after I, Robot hit theaters.
There was one about a guy akwardly meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. Did somebody make a movie about that?
I remember there was one guy who would always write in his peer feedback to everyone that they should set their stories in an alternate reality, no matter what the genre.
The stories the TA handed out to us to read by published authors weren't much better. One thing I remember that without fail not a single one of them could write characters of the opposite gender. Every time they tried it was just a collection of the most played out stereotypes. Male authors would have their female characters bouncing around with glee at shopping, telepathically plot against men with other women, and be inflicted with severe daddy issues. Female authors would have their male characters get drunk and punch things while trying to pick up women and ruining their lives in the process. The exception was the ONE impossibly saintly and understanding man in the story who would be there to support someone no matter how fucked up things got, in other words the 'nice guy" with a shoulder to cry on after the asshole man kicks her out of bed. Another page from the Lifetime network.
One story we had to read sent me into a near Laudablepuss rage. Some guy (George Saunders I think) who was supposedly an established author wrote a collection of short stories entitled Civil War land in Decline, and we had to read the title short. Good fucking lord what awful fiction. Mrs Johnson awful. It tried to be a Catch 22/Dr. Strangelove situation with characters acting non-chalantly to an insane setting. The thing that made Strangelove work though was that the characters were ridiculous as they could be while still retaining believability. Saunders' shit was entirely looneytoons. I can say without pride that my fucking Catch-22 knockoff was better than his shit. I encourage anyone to find a copy online just to see how bad it is. It's pretty short so the pain won't last long.
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Question for the LADIES of caltrops by FABIO 03/01/2005, 11:13pm PST 
Your writing class was built on an INDIAN BURIAL GROUND! NT by conflictNo 03/01/2005, 11:34pm PST
I know the answer but I'm not telling by Ray of Light 03/02/2005, 1:34am PST
0 of 2 people found the following review helpful by Amazon 03/02/2005, 3:33pm PST
Re: 0 of 2 people found the following review helpful by Construction Worker 03/02/2005, 5:25pm PST
MEN are stupid; REAL MEN are not. NT by Dr. Phil 03/02/2005, 6:16am PST
Sampling Error by Bill Dungsroman 03/02/2005, 3:21pm PST
english and psychology are the top 2 female majors so I guess they're ALL fruity NT by FABIO 03/02/2005, 5:46pm PST
I think I might have just answered my own question there NT by FABIO 03/02/2005, 10:32pm PST
Mostly, but I'd have to say that about people in general. by Bill Dungsroman 03/02/2005, 10:32pm PST
the men by FABIO 03/02/2005, 11:16pm PST
the men: en espanol! by bombMexico 03/03/2005, 12:36am PST
my class was pretty much all white, yes by FABIO 03/03/2005, 12:47am PST
Re: my class was pretty much all white, yes by bombMexico 03/03/2005, 1:11am PST
My creative writing class made us write poetry. ABOUT SPORTS. by Fullofkittens 03/03/2005, 7:41am PST
Re: My creative writing class made us write poetry. ABOUT SPORTS. by Casual observer 03/03/2005, 1:34pm PST
Re: My creative writing class made us write poetry. ABOUT SPORTS. by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 4:21pm PST
I'VE GOT A STORY by Fussbett 03/05/2005, 9:51pm PST
Re: I'VE GOT A STORY by Entropy Stew 03/07/2005, 2:12pm PST
Re: Mostly, but I'd have to say that about people in general. by laudablepuss 03/03/2005, 12:50am PST
What about sociology? NT by Lizard_King 03/04/2005, 11:57am PST
We're dealing with majors that (non-athletic) people actually finish. NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 4:23pm PST
Here's the problem. by laudablepuss 03/02/2005, 6:17pm PST
Re: Here's the problem. by FABIO 03/02/2005, 10:31pm PST
Gayness posted one minute apart :( NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/02/2005, 10:33pm PST
Just to clarify by laudablepuss 03/03/2005, 12:38am PST
Re: Here's the problem. by E. L. Koba 03/03/2005, 3:04am PST
OH SNAP NT by OH SNAP Guy 03/03/2005, 5:35am PST
English classes and writing. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/03/2005, 11:18am PST
What does INC have that I don't have?! NT by mrs. johnson 03/03/2005, 12:03pm PST
A spine, hooked nose and circumsized penis. NT by Just a guy. 03/03/2005, 12:13pm PST
Talent, experience, effort and style, to name a few things. by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 4:31pm PST
Re: Talent, experience, effort and style, to name a few things. by Fussbett 03/05/2005, 10:01pm PST
Re: English classes and writing. by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/03/2005, 12:19pm PST
Re: English classes and writing. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 4:43pm PST
Re: Here's the problem. by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/03/2005, 11:12am PST
I'm taking a writing class as we speak. by William H. Hayt, Jr. 03/02/2005, 11:42pm PST
Fine, I'll chime in. by bink 03/03/2005, 5:07am PST
Your teacher, as if you didn't know, is a fuckhead. NT by Casual observer 03/03/2005, 1:55pm PST
Yeah fuck that guy! by laudablepuss 03/03/2005, 3:35pm PST
No, he was actually fairly cool. by bink 03/03/2005, 5:18pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 3:46am PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/04/2005, 11:42am PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Ray of Light 03/04/2005, 12:16pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Creexul :( 03/04/2005, 1:48pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 4:31pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 5:04pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Ray of Light 03/05/2005, 10:42pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:03am PST
Arer we disagreeing? I can't see where. by Ray of Light 03/06/2005, 4:18am PST
Re: Arer we disagreeing? I can't see where. by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:20pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 12:38pm PST
This is a FAG forum, BITCH by friend of motheruckerfordoearter 03/06/2005, 6:18pm PST
Objection! Subject goes to heart of why we play. NT by SUSTAINED 03/06/2005, 7:45pm PST
Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Closing Credits of Your Life 03/06/2005, 6:43pm PST
Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 5:00pm PST
Re: Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 6:10pm PST
More memories. by Fussbett 03/05/2005, 9:58pm PST
Re: More memories. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 12:42pm PST
y'all NT by :( 03/06/2005, 1:16pm PST
Re: More memories. by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:38pm PST
Loot = Lute. WoW much? Nah. NT by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:39pm PST
Re: More memories. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 10:24pm PST
Re: More memories. by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 10:36pm PST
Re: More memories. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 10:57pm PST
Disappointing. NT by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 11:31pm PST
You get what you give. NT by Helpful Mysterio Man 03/07/2005, 9:48am PST
Since when? NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/10/2005, 12:31pm PST
Re: More memories. by bink 03/07/2005, 3:14am PST
Re: More memories. by Quentin Beck 03/07/2005, 7:43am PST
I stand corrected. by bink 03/07/2005, 7:45am PST
What's this! by E. L. Koba 03/07/2005, 11:25am PST
I felt sorry for that dude. by bink 03/07/2005, 5:32pm PST
Re: What's this! by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/10/2005, 8:20pm PST
Math question for Zseni by Tony 03/08/2005, 12:40am PST
Statistics 95 makes you brain bleed. by Drummer from Whitesnake 03/14/2005, 2:45pm PST
Re: Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by Fullofkittens 03/06/2005, 2:52pm PST
Re: Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by Bill Dungsroman 03/10/2005, 12:30pm PST
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