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| Splinter Cell - Convictions for PC NEGATIVE! by Fortinbras 11/28/2010, 8:46pm PST | ||||
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| In one sentence: Maxime Béland (who was also responsible for the abortion that is Rainbow Six: Vegas) ruined Splinter Cell.
It's way too late at night to write a coherent review so I'll just put it like this: - I don't know you make stealth optional in a Splinter Cell game, but except for one tiny portion of the game, it is. Have fun. - Following the "stealth is optional" tract, you have infinite ammunition for your pistol. Go find the loudest, most powerful handgun you can and stick with it and mash that trigger button like it was a machine gun. - The controls are shit, Sam Fisher moves like a man his age. Quick-strikes to knock out enemies will leave you standing there like an idiot for 5 seconds. Sticking to cover is sluggish and the walk/run is toggled on a keyboard so the game always makes you walk when you pull out of cover. - There are some lights in the game that are UNSHOOTABLE. That's right. In a Splinter Cell game, where LIGHTING IS A KEY GAMEPLAY ELEMENT, there are some lights that just won't fucking break or shut off no matter how many EMP grenades or rounds you put into them. And when I say unshootable, I don't mean that bullets ping harmlessly off them, I mean the game ACTUALLY RESTRICTS YOU from firing when your aim comes over them. What fucking ridiculous bullshit is this?! - Sam's signature goggles are the shittiest iteration yet. The display scrambles every few seconds and is obnoxiously grainy, removing whatever use the sonar-pulse detection of enemies might offer. Besides, you get them when the game's 3/4ths over anyway. - The segues to black and white whenever you're in shadow are jarring and throw off my ability to discern cameras, light sources, or enemies. - Level design is highly linear. Your "stealth" options such as they are are usually limited to one path for each room, the environments are mostly boxy office buildings. There are way too many lights in each area to shoot out, so you'll be relying on your EMP grenades and EMP panic button. Too bad those are limited to 3 each. - The interrogation crap is a complete gimmick. I was left unimpressed after my first attempt to drag a guy over to a conveniently located minibar and smash a beer bottle over his head/smash his head into the beer bottles did not work and I just wound up punching him in the face. To summarize: Press C to punch guy in face until he talks. Drag guy to object and press C to have him hit his head on a sharp angle. There are a couple of interrogations where you can actually do some damage, mostly smashing someones' head through a TV or dropping him through a table like an episode of WWF, but it's still very disappointing. Missed Interrogation Opportunities: Slamming a guy's head in a car door repeatedly, beer bottles and broken glass, sticking a guy's head in a cotton candy machine, etc. - Anna Grimsdottir, one of my favorite characters, was turned into a Bond girl. Just fucking terrible. - The plot, such as it is, is boring and contrived. No explanation is really offered. Sam Fisher smolders with generic rage. - WE'RE GOING TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, FISHER. I DON'T LIKE MEN BUT IN YOUR CASE I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION. COME ON OUT, FISHER! QUIT HIDING! - Further supporting my opinion that the developers didn't intend to make a stealth game, there are many MANY scripted events where you'll be forced into a gunfight with 10-15 guys. The only method of evasion is throwing a flashbang and running like a little girl. The AI's too stupid to give effective chase, and you can bypass some sections if you're quick enough and can dodge the bullets. - I don't usually like to accuse developers of "dumbing a game down", but, well, that's pretty much what the asshole has said in interviews - I've heard that the co-op and multiplayer modes are much much better than the single player portion. I guess that's great if you live at home with your brother or spend your time on XBOX Live. On PC it means dealing with the shitty fucking Ubisoft service. I didn't even mention the bullshit DRM hoops I had to jump through to get this thing going even after I bought it on Steam. CONCLUSION: Splinter Cell peaked with Chaos Theory. It is still the best Splinter Cell game ever made. Max Beland should be fucking fired because this guy turns everything he touches to shit. |
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Splinter Cell - Convictions for PC NEGATIVE! by 11/28/2010, 8:46pm PST  Re: Splinter Cell - Convictions for PC NEGATIVE! by 12/07/2010, 8:52pm PST |
