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English classes and writing. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/03/2005, 11:18am PST
E. L. Koba wrote:

FABIO wrote:

My favorite was still some 300 pound otaku Japophile girl who insisted on making everyone in her stories Japanese, giving them all Japanese names, and sprinkling kanji phrases around at random for absolutely no reason.


What was Zseni doing in your class?

Haha. While that is hilarious, and in no way a tepid hackneyed rehash of ancient and circumstantial criticisms, I was the guy in the writing classes who communed with the professor after class. The professors loved me and cherished me, and in return I wrote them papers about how advertising and photography made me feel, because those were the papers I was assigned to write. However, this wasn't in creative writing class. I took the required English composition classes. Actually, it took a while to complete the three class sequence because I kept walking out of them.

Here are two of the writing classes I walked out of:

In one, the class was taught by a blowsy fat woman in a caftan who waltzed in on the first day and gave us all a sheet of paper containing information all about her, herself. It touched only lightly on her qualifications for teaching English, and labored very heavily on details about her home, cats, hobbies, and favorite authors (I will only say that Dickens was on it and you can tell yourself the rest.) It took up both sides of the pastel green page. Then she asked us all to go ahead and write a little about ourselves on fresh blank pastel green sheets of paper that she handed out while panting softly - insisting on navigating her floral bulk through the maze of desks to hand each student his paper individually, rather than passing them down rows like any sensible fatty would do. We had 30 minutes to just go crazy on that page! I wrote three or four sentences and waited for everyone else to finish. Really, I wasn't being a smartass. That was all I felt like writing about me, all I wanted to tell her, and above all it was all she needed to know. She came to hover at my shoulder: what are you waiting for, dear? I'm done, I explained. You have another 25 minutes to write more! she replied. That's all I mean to write, I rebutted. She didn't like that and asked me to please write some more, at which point I picked up my backpack and left.

Another class was taught by a painfully authentic frump in all brown, glasses, curly hair pulled severely back. This class, she told the assembled students briskly, would involve a lot of Writing. Good, I've taken so many English classes that Didn't. This would make a pleasant Change. She then detailed the major assignments to be done in the term, with chalk bullet points upon the board to assist note-takers, and she had scratch paper in case anyone had come unprepared to take notes, and that such a mistake shouldn't be repeated in this class. We would, over the course of the term, pick two women - friends, family, neighbors, strangers - one old, and one young, interview them thoroughly about their life experiences, and write papers about them. As women. I don't remember if she said that actual part but I mentally inserted it. The professor was expecting to see the raw interview transcription, our personal notes, several outlines and drafts, and, of course, she would be assigning readings to assist us with our work. Anyone who didn't feel they could do all that work was invited to leave now, so the rest of the class could continue. I walked; I was the only female to walk, incidentally, and I felt patronizing feelings towards all the girls who stayed.

I have never in my life received what I would consider a serious critique of my Writing writing; I've never received, actually, a negative review of any kind for my Writing writing. Except the Weaponsmith, who summed up the many papers I had written for his sociology and psychology classes one day with "...and at the end you had no idea what you'd just read, but you felt really good about it. It's the best bullshit writing I've ever seen." I have no particular passion for writing. I enjoy it when it comes easily, but find anything longer than a sonnet hard going. I enjoy collaborative writing more than any other kind. I love good amateur writers and I want to meet more of them and drag them into obscure writing competitions, but, alas, they're usually too busy actually writing to waste time with me. Of the many writers at OMM/GA/Caltrops whose work I have read, the best writer is INC and the worst, sadly and predictably, is mrs. johnson.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Question for the LADIES of caltrops by FABIO 03/01/2005, 11:13pm PST NEW
    Your writing class was built on an INDIAN BURIAL GROUND! NT by conflictNo 03/01/2005, 11:34pm PST NEW
    I know the answer but I'm not telling by Ray of Light 03/02/2005, 1:34am PST NEW
        0 of 2 people found the following review helpful by Amazon 03/02/2005, 3:33pm PST NEW
            Re: 0 of 2 people found the following review helpful by Construction Worker 03/02/2005, 5:25pm PST NEW
    MEN are stupid; REAL MEN are not. NT by Dr. Phil 03/02/2005, 6:16am PST NEW
    Sampling Error by Bill Dungsroman 03/02/2005, 3:21pm PST NEW
        english and psychology are the top 2 female majors so I guess they're ALL fruity NT by FABIO 03/02/2005, 5:46pm PST NEW
            I think I might have just answered my own question there NT by FABIO 03/02/2005, 10:32pm PST NEW
            Mostly, but I'd have to say that about people in general. by Bill Dungsroman 03/02/2005, 10:32pm PST NEW
                the men by FABIO 03/02/2005, 11:16pm PST NEW
                    the men: en espanol! by bombMexico 03/03/2005, 12:36am PST NEW
                        my class was pretty much all white, yes by FABIO 03/03/2005, 12:47am PST NEW
                            Re: my class was pretty much all white, yes by bombMexico 03/03/2005, 1:11am PST NEW
                                My creative writing class made us write poetry. ABOUT SPORTS. by Fullofkittens 03/03/2005, 7:41am PST NEW
                                    Re: My creative writing class made us write poetry. ABOUT SPORTS. by Casual observer 03/03/2005, 1:34pm PST NEW
                                        Re: My creative writing class made us write poetry. ABOUT SPORTS. by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 4:21pm PST NEW
                        I'VE GOT A STORY by Fussbett 03/05/2005, 9:51pm PST NEW
                            Re: I'VE GOT A STORY by Entropy Stew 03/07/2005, 2:12pm PST NEW
                Re: Mostly, but I'd have to say that about people in general. by laudablepuss 03/03/2005, 12:50am PST NEW
            What about sociology? NT by Lizard_King 03/04/2005, 11:57am PST NEW
                We're dealing with majors that (non-athletic) people actually finish. NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 4:23pm PST NEW
    Here's the problem. by laudablepuss 03/02/2005, 6:17pm PST NEW
        Re: Here's the problem. by FABIO 03/02/2005, 10:31pm PST NEW
            Gayness posted one minute apart :( NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/02/2005, 10:33pm PST NEW
            Just to clarify by laudablepuss 03/03/2005, 12:38am PST NEW
            Re: Here's the problem. by E. L. Koba 03/03/2005, 3:04am PST NEW
                OH SNAP NT by OH SNAP Guy 03/03/2005, 5:35am PST NEW
                English classes and writing. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/03/2005, 11:18am PST NEW
                    What does INC have that I don't have?! NT by mrs. johnson 03/03/2005, 12:03pm PST NEW
                        A spine, hooked nose and circumsized penis. NT by Just a guy. 03/03/2005, 12:13pm PST NEW
                        Talent, experience, effort and style, to name a few things. by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 4:31pm PST NEW
                            Re: Talent, experience, effort and style, to name a few things. by Fussbett 03/05/2005, 10:01pm PST NEW
                    Re: English classes and writing. by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/03/2005, 12:19pm PST NEW
                        Re: English classes and writing. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 4:43pm PST NEW
            Re: Here's the problem. by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/03/2005, 11:12am PST NEW
    I'm taking a writing class as we speak. by William H. Hayt, Jr. 03/02/2005, 11:42pm PST NEW
    Fine, I'll chime in. by bink 03/03/2005, 5:07am PST NEW
        Your teacher, as if you didn't know, is a fuckhead. NT by Casual observer 03/03/2005, 1:55pm PST NEW
            Yeah fuck that guy! by laudablepuss 03/03/2005, 3:35pm PST NEW
                No, he was actually fairly cool. by bink 03/03/2005, 5:18pm PST NEW
    Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 3:46am PST NEW
        Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/04/2005, 11:42am PST NEW
            Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Ray of Light 03/04/2005, 12:16pm PST NEW
            Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Creexul :( 03/04/2005, 1:48pm PST NEW
            Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 4:31pm PST NEW
                Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 5:04pm PST NEW
                Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Ray of Light 03/05/2005, 10:42pm PST NEW
                    Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:03am PST NEW
                        Arer we disagreeing? I can't see where. by Ray of Light 03/06/2005, 4:18am PST NEW
                            Re: Arer we disagreeing? I can't see where. by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:20pm PST NEW
                    Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 12:38pm PST NEW
                        This is a FAG forum, BITCH by friend of motheruckerfordoearter 03/06/2005, 6:18pm PST NEW
                        Objection! Subject goes to heart of why we play. NT by SUSTAINED 03/06/2005, 7:45pm PST NEW
                Re: Question for the LADIES of caltrops by The Closing Credits of Your Life 03/06/2005, 6:43pm PST NEW
        Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by Bill Dungsroman 03/04/2005, 5:00pm PST NEW
            Re: Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/04/2005, 6:10pm PST NEW
                More memories. by Fussbett 03/05/2005, 9:58pm PST NEW
                    Re: More memories. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 12:42pm PST NEW
                        y'all NT by :( 03/06/2005, 1:16pm PST NEW
                        Re: More memories. by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:38pm PST NEW
                            Loot = Lute. WoW much? Nah. NT by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 2:39pm PST NEW
                            Re: More memories. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 10:24pm PST NEW
                                Re: More memories. by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 10:36pm PST NEW
                                    Re: More memories. by The Cheap Zseni Machine 03/06/2005, 10:57pm PST NEW
                                        Disappointing. NT by Casual observer 03/06/2005, 11:31pm PST NEW
                                            You get what you give. NT by Helpful Mysterio Man 03/07/2005, 9:48am PST NEW
                                                Since when? NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/10/2005, 12:31pm PST NEW
                                    Re: More memories. by bink 03/07/2005, 3:14am PST NEW
                                        Re: More memories. by Quentin Beck 03/07/2005, 7:43am PST NEW
                                            I stand corrected. by bink 03/07/2005, 7:45am PST NEW
                                    What's this! by E. L. Koba 03/07/2005, 11:25am PST NEW
                                        I felt sorry for that dude. by bink 03/07/2005, 5:32pm PST NEW
                                        Re: What's this! by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/10/2005, 8:20pm PST NEW
                                Math question for Zseni by Tony 03/08/2005, 12:40am PST NEW
                                    Statistics 95 makes you brain bleed. by Drummer from Whitesnake 03/14/2005, 2:45pm PST NEW
                Re: Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by Fullofkittens 03/06/2005, 2:52pm PST NEW
                    Re: Oh, yeah. My original Sampling Error post had a second point. by Bill Dungsroman 03/10/2005, 12:30pm PST NEW
 
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