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by the one who infuriates you 06/06/2012, 8:56am PDT |
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...so he'll sell you her hand in marriage. Offer a women what her father wants, but what she doesn't want, and she won't want you.
laudablepuss wrote:
Dated a girl, let's call her Diane. She's a cute mouse of a girl, and it was the best first date ever. (No sex, best first date that I've had I mean.) After two dates and talking every day for a month, I was ready to call her my girlfriend. But nobody who says they are "looking for a relationship" online means that. Other than me, I mean. They mean "just dating" but they can't SAY that because if they SAY "just dating" that means "down to fuck" or some shit. *nods wisely* *shrugs carelessly* Whatever.
Do you want to fuck?
Anyway, she gets quite distant for no apparent reason.
...because she thinks you don't want to fuck her. Why do you suppose she thinks that?
So, I'm severely bummed out. Then another girl sends me an email (happens sometimes, especially with my "ask me how I didn't die" profile hur hur), and we start talking. Let's call her Artemisia. She's somewhat exotic, but I won't go into details lest I give a clue to her identity. Somewhat exotic, and also older than I am. [...] Anyway, Artemisia was hot, awesome, and totally insane. To be perfectly fair, she warned me right at the outset and I was like PSH YOU WANT TO BE INSANE, LET'S BE INSANE!!! Please buy my upcoming book, "Terrible Decision-Making and Setting Yourself Up to Fail".
You are correct, but not in the way you think you are correct. You told her, "PSH YOU WANT TO BE INSANE, LET'S BE INSANE!!!" then failed to follow through with the insanity you promised her. Did you not want to be insane, or did you feel that doing what you and she wanted would have been inappropriate for the courting process?
In short, over IM and on the phone, Artemisia and I spend hours relating our entire biographies. And I provided sage advice about a major problem of hers (actually, one of my rare moments of real, helpful advice).
Giving advice that people don't ask for is an act of aggression one-upsmanship aggression. Often women want to relate their problems just to vent. Some hot women have figured out that if she simply mentions a problem around men, they will fall over themselves to fix her problem for free. These guys are thinking in "courting" mode that a valuable service will be rewarded by her father by her in bed.
Back to Diane, she discovers she probably has herpes. This is not the end of the world. It makes her the third girl I've known with this (that has told me) and the second I've still wanted to bang. But it puts a damper on things, and makes me want Artemisia even more. I do my best to raise her morale, and we read webMD together a bit.
What's raises your morale more? A doctor's appointment that mitigates the problems of your transplant, or a night out with someone fun who takes your mind completely off your liver?
I meet Artemisia and it was great. Solid second best first date . . . well distant second. But good! More talking and then a spontaneous visit to her house when she was in a terrible mood and asked if I wanted to come over. Sure, I said! She lived over an hour away, so I think she appreciated me driving up. We watched a movie but didn't do any smooching or anything.
How do you go from "good date" to "she was in a terrible mood?" I can guess at two possibilities:
A) Were you honestly enjoying the conversation? That is good. Nothing is more attractive than someone who is honestly interested in you and you should have been very attractive to her. If things were going swimmingly then her mood suddenly turned sour, it's probably because you weren't doing anything to demonstrate your attraction to her and she interpreted your actions as those of another fucking platonic heterosexual male friend.
B) You were not interested in her, but it was a big ego boost to be seen out and about with a hot woman. In this case you really shouldn't have been going out with her in the first place. She probably saw right through your bullshit and found herself once again with another fucking man who was trying to hustle her into thinking he actually liked her as a person, but really just wanted to flaunt her to his buddies, so that's why her mood soured.
You actually dodged a bullet in this case, Mr. Relationship. Because if she did buy your bullshit and start a committed relationship with you, she would have spent the whole time trying to change you into the kind of man you pretended to be in the courtship phase.
Diane next informs me that her best friend, a guy, wants to fuck her.
Unlike you, in her mind.
Yeah no shit?
Psh! Yeah! All men want to fuck women they're dating. Unless they're looking for relationships apparently.
But she didn't say that, she said she thinks she wants to try dating him for awhile.
There are two big reasons women have to talk about sex in tortured code:
A) The feminist movement is incomplete and we currently live in the worst of both worlds. While it's supposed to be men and women coming together because they honestly like and are attracted to one another, guys are still bringing their "impress her father" game, and women are still bringing their "I'm a virgin" game.
The whole stud/slut double standard serves a very pathetic game that dates back to antiquity. Nothing chaps the ass of a man who wasted his entire life doing work he doesn't enjoy to make himself rich more than the phrase, "you can't take it with you." The next best thing? Live a second life by proxy by giving all your money to your son, who is practically your clone. But how do you know he's a really your clone??? Marry a woman with an intact vagina, sequester her away from the world for several weeks to make sure nobody is fucking her but you (or, "go on honeymoon") then give all the money to the firstborn son, because that's the only kid you can trust is flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood. This is the one and only value of virginity, and women are programmed from birth to consider that to be their most important trait. Nobel prize winning scientist? Psh! Having the reputation of being a slut always trumps that.
B) Good sex (for both genders) depends on two factors: excitement and relaxation. Being funny, interesting, nudging the envelope of her comfort level, all these things generate excitement. Respecting her boundaries without flipping out, matching her pace, and taking the reigns to lead her where she wants to go generate relaxation. Taking you by the hand and explaining every step you must take to seduce and properly fuck her is neither exciting nor relaxing, so even if she's consciously resigned to performing this task, her body chemistry will be bored beyond belief. Some women have figured out that dropping hints (some less subtle than others) can allow her to gently direct a man smart enough to listen without spoiling the excitement or relaxation.
Okay, we decide to give gomer and Artemisia a month. Although my situation with Artemisia is nothing to brag about, we're basically friends at this point, and secretly, in my inmost thoughts, I feel it will go nowhere. But fuck inmost thoughts, let's get stupid!
Have you ever read a bestselling Harlequin romance novel? They're a billion dollar industry that caters entirely to the sexual desires of women. You'll never find one about a man and woman meeting cute in the park, going on a series of chaste dates, then getting married and finally consummating the marriage on their wedding night. And you definitely will never read one where a woman dates a succession of jerks who only want her for sex, only for a lightbulb to go off one day while she's getting free therapy from her hangdog platonic heterosexual male friend.
You may see that scenario in romantic comedies written by nerdy male screenwriters, but you'd be as poorly served by emulating those movies as you would be learning sex tips from pornos.
Did I mention that Artemisia can't pay the mortgage on her house and needs a room mate or to foreclose? She invited me to live with her, I politely declined. I still barely knew her, really, and it's far.
Good job having the self-respect not to pay her fools' tax, but a rolled up paper to the head for not having the self-respect to decline hanging out with someone you don't find interesting. If you still barely know her at this point she's not interesting to you as a person and that's definitely a turn-off for her.
I mean, I knew what she's told me I guess. Anyway, now she's seeing another guy, and he has her smoking and drinking and being crazy. She drank one glass of wine with me, she drank a bottle with this guy and smoked half a pack of cigarettes. Ooookay. I'm not exactly shocked, but very disappointed when she informs me that doofus (as opposed to Diane's gomer) is moving in. Just as friends.
Okay, I think my emotional well being at this point is pretty much non-existent but ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH!!! Big date planned with Artemisia, and I go all out. Waaaay too much alchohol is imbibed, and we make out. A lot. And it was great. But she stops it from going further . . . DAMN. I drive home. (I could write pages about this date, btw.)
Next day, in the evening, she calls to make sure I don't have the wrong idea. I'm pretty sure I haven't a clue what's going on at this point, but I know that I feel like SHIIIIIIIIIIT and I sit there for awhile trying to get my mind around this.
In case you haven't seen the common theme running throughout this commentary, it's that dishonesty was what derailed these two trains. Dishonesty to the women partially, but mainly dishonesty to yourself. Whose approval were you trying to gain by telling yourself you wanted a relationship with Artemisia?
If you date women by pretending to want things you don't want, and care about things you don't care about, and basically do anything other than "be yourself" you are telling yourself that you're not good enough. Even if you pull off the hustle and she sleep with you and falls madly in love with your assumed persona, it's still a knife in your heart because she doesn't love the real you. Read over your own post again and note to yourself all the times the cognitive dissonance caused you to do degrading and/or assholey things with/to these women. Is it any wonder acting like this makes you feel like SHIIIIIIIIIIT?
Dude, not only are you good enough, you're good enough not to settle for a woman you don't really like or aren't really attracted to. Until you grok this statement, you will always fail with women.
If you want to "empower" women you won't do it by desexualizing them and you definitely won't do it by telling them the lies you think they want to hear. The best way to empower a woman is by giving her the truth, which in turn gives her the power to make her own informed decision. "Take me or leave me" in other words.
Also chix are golddigging cunt hoors men are the real victims i dont need you beeyatches etc |
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Everyone raise your hand if you're not dead yet. by laudablepuss 05/30/2012, 2:46am PDT 
"Complete" is another word for "Finished" NT by Mischief Mindfuck 05/30/2012, 5:56am PDT 
Hey I finally got this. NT by laudablepuss 05/30/2012, 12:51pm PDT 
FINISH HIM! NT by Neil Clark Warren 05/30/2012, 5:31pm PDT 
How much prednisone are you still on? Serious question. NT by Just Another Mysterious Stranger 05/30/2012, 6:28am PDT 
5mg per day by laudablepuss 05/30/2012, 8:20am PDT 
Not to minimize your midlife crisis or anything by Fullofkittens 05/30/2012, 5:41pm PDT 
Agreeing with Mr. OfKittens here. by Just Another Mysterious Stranger 05/30/2012, 6:46pm PDT 
Re: Agreeing with Mr. OfKittens here. by laudablepuss 05/30/2012, 9:44pm PDT 
I take ALL OF THIS back. NT by laudablepuss 06/01/2012, 4:09am PDT 
Re: Not to minimize your midlife crisis or anything by laudablepuss 05/30/2012, 9:40pm PDT 
lol still alive! NT by Portal fag 05/30/2012, 1:22pm PDT 
Re: Everyone raise your hand if you're not dead yet. by Dr. Herb Sewell 05/30/2012, 9:37pm PDT 
Seconding photos. We can critique your wardrobe and more. NT by It will be harsh/fair. 05/31/2012, 3:17pm PDT 
you look fat ugly stupid gay and why are you wearing that and why did you decora NT by The Internet 05/31/2012, 4:41pm PDT 
Here's one by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 12:36am PDT 
Decent, but don't wear a baseball hat you can tuck your ears into, or a vest. NT by In fact, no baseball caps ever. 06/06/2012, 9:58am PDT 
Part I: the wild frontier by laudablepuss 05/30/2012, 9:39pm PDT 
If Caltrops had a "like" button, I'd be clicking it so hard right now. NT by Jonsey why doesn't Caltrops have a 05/30/2012, 10:26pm PDT 
we'll get that right after the rape button NT by Entropy Stew 05/31/2012, 4:03am PDT 
They should be the same button. NT by DR. PROBLEM SOLVER M.D. 05/31/2012, 3:35pm PDT 
is it pathetic to be just a little bit jealous right now? -nt- :( NT by Oom Shnibble 05/31/2012, 10:40am PDT 
Part V: what the fuck by laudablepuss 06/05/2012, 11:51pm PDT 
One day I might get the hang of verb tense. :( NT by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 12:39am PDT 
You broke a lot of rules, son by Don Juan 06/06/2012, 1:01am PDT 
Also. by Oom Shnibble 06/06/2012, 5:37am PDT 
Re: You broke a lot of rules, son by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 1:02pm PDT 
Re: You broke a lot of rules, son by I'm the Brogrammer 06/06/2012, 2:38pm PDT 
A lot of people online date the way a lot of people love Sex in the City by Don Juan 06/06/2012, 3:49pm PDT 
Re: A lot of people online date the way a lot of people love Sex in the City by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 4:26pm PDT 
Re: You broke a lot of rules, son by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 4:24pm PDT 
Re: You broke a lot of rules, son by I'm the Brogrammer 06/06/2012, 2:49pm PDT 
Traditional "Courting" is all about seducing the woman's father... by the one who infuriates you 06/06/2012, 8:56am PDT 
Bizarre! You're really wildly off base with 90% of this. by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 9:37am PDT 
No it was all spot on by fabio 06/06/2012, 11:44am PDT 
Re: No it was all spot on by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 12:14pm PDT 
Diseased? by fabio 06/06/2012, 12:40pm PDT 
Yes, *diseased* by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 12:52pm PDT 
Re: Yes, *diseased* by fabio 06/06/2012, 1:03pm PDT 
Theorizing that that post was by jsoh is a troll for the history books. NT by Fullofkittens 06/06/2012, 2:55pm PDT 
It was obviously Mischief Maker by fabio 06/06/2012, 4:00pm PDT 
It remains nonsense. by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 4:16pm PDT 
Re: It remains nonsense. by the one who infuriates you 06/06/2012, 6:25pm PDT 
Still NO. by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 7:01pm PDT 
Have you learned NOTHING? Update us with your eyes, and your body! NT by Jerry Whorebach 06/06/2012, 7:15pm PDT 
Let me repair that bit by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 7:21pm PDT 
D) Don't try to fuck her because you are immunosuppressed and herpes would be ba NT by Dignity, conscientiousness 06/07/2012, 12:11pm PDT 
stop this by fabio 06/06/2012, 10:12pm PDT 
Re: stop this by Souffle of Pain 06/06/2012, 10:19pm PDT 
Re: stop this by Black Phillip 06/06/2012, 10:25pm PDT 
Does posting as Black Phillip count as thread necromancy? NT by Mischief Maker 06/07/2012, 5:00am PDT 
wow, these two posters are both present at once, they must be different people by the one who notices your tells 06/07/2012, 9:44am PDT 
I am not Black Phillip. NT by Mischief Maker 06/07/2012, 8:22pm PDT 
of course patrice agrees with me by the one who infuriates you 06/07/2012, 7:18am PDT 
I thought it might have been pod people but maybe I dunno NT by Fullofkittens 06/06/2012, 4:36pm PDT 
Mischief Maker is the one who capitalizes random nouns NT by Herpes Conrad 06/06/2012, 7:57pm PDT 
I figured jsoh posted it to one of his red pill forums and he's copying response NT by s - Arbit 06/06/2012, 4:54pm PDT 
Cool. Good for him. NT by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 4:56pm PDT 
Re: Traditional "Courting" is all about seducing the woman's father... by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 9:43am PDT 
How long have you been back? Now I have to re-read some posts. NT by Last 06/06/2012, 12:20pm PDT 
I think this is too complex by Don't listen to MM 06/06/2012, 5:33pm PDT 
Now HERES a man who can support my daughter in the lifestyle to which she's accu NT by Father-in-Law 06/06/2012, 6:27pm PDT 
Re: Part V: what the fuck by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/06/2012, 12:23pm PDT 
Re: Part V: what the fuck by wagnerfuckerjamesauter 06/06/2012, 4:14pm PDT 
Part II: more of this by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 9:31pm PDT 
As you can see, I lied about editing this for clarity. Let the literary abomina NT by laudablepuss 06/06/2012, 9:37pm PDT 
Re: Part II: more of this by Black Phillip 06/06/2012, 10:16pm PDT 
This actually sounds decent. by MmmmmBop, by Hansen. 06/07/2012, 10:23am PDT 
How's it going laudiblepuss? Still alive? NT by Quentinbec Rewind 10/03/2012, 10:49pm PDT 
No. BooOOOooo! NT by laudableghost 10/04/2012, 2:42am PDT 
AH OMG O_O by laudablepuss 10/04/2012, 3:38pm PDT 
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