Forum Overview :: Reviews
La Mulana by Lurker 58913 01/23/2013, 3:10am PST
I saw this game on Steam Greenlight, so I went ahead and bought it on GOG. I know there's still a freeware version on the official website, but it looked like they had changed enough to warrant a purchase.

The game plays like any other Metroidvania, but with the original Castlevania's inertia jumps and a Dark Souls sense of pushing as far as you can without getting murdered. For the first couple of hours, you're solving clever puzzles, figuring shit out, exploring, finding cash money, and getting your ass handed to you by bosses. At some point, maybe at the 7-8 hour mark when you start to explore all of the mirror world areas, the puzzles start to turn into obscure bullshit that's just impossible to figure out without a guide or the willingness to hit absolutely every single thing with your whip. BUT WATCH OUT! For some reason, they decided it'd be a great idea to have certain "Holy Elements" (puzzle objects) be protected so that if you even nick them with the top of your attack, you'll get lightning blasted for 1/3 of your life. I'll admit this still makes me freak out and jump in my seat sometimes, but when the lightning eye isn't even anywhere on screen and the "Holy Object" is completely indistinguishable from the rest of the level, it gets old fast.

I'm currently in an area called the Gate of Illusion (by in the area I mean that's where I assume I'm supposed to be since it encourages you to spread out a little bit in every direction at once). Normally, you solve puzzles by reading tablets for riddles and checking your map (every area has exactly 20 rooms, with no more than 4 rooms in one row or 5 in one column) to figure out secrets. For this section, however, the game decides to up the bullshit and make it more or less impossible to progress without a walkthrough. Apparently, the puzzles were even HARDER in the freeware version while the updated versions opted for harder boss fights. I'll probably go back and finish it after this, but after getting one shotted by a lightning trap after spending an hour running back and forth, my spirit is broken.

Some other quick points:
-There's so many fucking bats. In every single stage. With at least 5 on screen at once. There's supposed to be an item that lets you walk through them without taking any damage, but by the time you get it I figure it'll be too late anyway.
-There's a caltrops sub-weapon (Updated version only).
-The bosses require perfect pattern memorization and exact timing to beat. Your mileage may vary depending on how much you like that sort of thing (I loves it).
-There's an easy to accidentally discover money exploit once you unlock a certain ability. This is actually a HUGE positive since once a breakable container drops money once, it'll be empty no matter how many times you reload and break it again, meaning money is a limited resource despite it being the only way to reload your sometimes required sub-weapons.
-For the most part, it's incredibly refreshing to be thrown into a giant puzzle world with absolutely nobody there to grab you by the hand and pull you to the next goal.
-It managed to completely ruin my sleep schedule for a week.
-READ THE MANUAL FIRST. Holy shit will you hate this game right away if you don't get through that. There's way too much Engrish, but I guess you can just roleplay archaeologist and pretend you're reading an imperfect translation of an ancient language (kind of true?).

I know this sounds like a lot of bitching and complaining, but it really is a great game. If you go for the updated version, you'll definitely be getting your money's worth (I'm already at the 9 hour mark and I've only killed half the bosses). It's a 2D Dark Souls with a focus on puzzle solving.
The January Short Review Classic Contest by Ice Cream Jonsey 01/04/2013, 7:49am PST
    Colossal Cave Adventure by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 01/04/2013, 8:41am PST
        You're in the hunt! NT by Bill Burr 01/04/2013, 4:52pm PST
        I am going to correct this review by Ice Cream Jonsey 01/05/2013, 1:55pm PST
    Massive Assault, Phantom Renaissance by Mischief Maxim 01/04/2013, 8:47am PST
        That review reads harsher than I intended, I actually really love this game. by Mischief Maker 01/04/2013, 8:19pm PST
            I disliked it. by WITTGENSTEIN 01/04/2013, 9:36pm PST
                If you weren't playing World War, you weren't playing the real game. NT by Mischief Maker 01/04/2013, 10:11pm PST
        Update by MM 10/16/2016, 7:25pm PDT
    8 more days for this by Ice Cream Jonsey 01/22/2013, 11:21pm PST
    La Mulana by Lurker 58913 01/23/2013, 3:10am PST
        This game was ruined by the ridiculous puzzles by Arbit 01/23/2013, 9:09am PST
            Agreed. by Lizard_King 06/12/2013, 11:53am PDT
    Devil May Cry 4 Redux by Mischief Maker 01/23/2013, 11:38am PST
        Re: Devil May Cry 4 Redux by Foil 06/07/2013, 1:37pm PDT
            What's hilarious is icycalm's terrible opinions NT by SLURRRRRRRRP 06/07/2013, 1:48pm PDT
            Please elaborate on the depth of DMC 1/3 that I missed! NT by Mischief Maker 06/07/2013, 2:03pm PDT
                ...nothing? by Mischief Maker 06/07/2013, 6:57pm PDT
                    Were you trying to cow me by implication alone, you fucking girl? by Mischief Maker 06/12/2013, 10:42am PDT
            What's the difference between horribly shallow and laughably shallow? NT by we already know you don't laugh 06/07/2013, 3:33pm PDT
    Another Video Game Review: Duke Nukem 3D by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 01/25/2013, 4:49pm PST
        This is going to sound retarded, but I actually wanted to read your Duke review. by Jerry Whorebach 01/25/2013, 6:55pm PST
            Duke set the stage for American McGee's Alice. NT by Mischief Maker 01/26/2013, 10:30pm PST
            Why I still play with Duke Nukem by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/06/2013, 5:06pm PST
                Okay, this is pretty good. by Jerry Whorebach 02/07/2013, 11:45am PST
        One more Half Life/Duke Nukem connection by Vested Id 01/25/2013, 8:12pm PST
    WELL??? by Mischief Maker 02/03/2013, 10:19am PST
    RESULTS by Ice Cream Jonsey 02/03/2013, 11:55am PST
        Nice payoff, icecream >:( by fabio 02/03/2013, 1:18pm PST
            Great, now I've got the mental image of TDARCOS in a wet T-Shirt. :( by Mischief Maker 02/04/2013, 8:09am PST
            World's most loathsome profession by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/06/2013, 4:57pm PST
                Undertakers? by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/06/2013, 10:16pm PST
                    Yes, Undertakers. by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/07/2013, 11:35am PST
                        You are making this bad rap up. Bad rap maker upper. by Fullofkittens 02/07/2013, 12:57pm PST
                        Is there a Ralph's around here? NT by Tansin A. Sobchak 02/10/2013, 7:02pm PST
            Re: Nice payoff, icecream >:( by Ice Cream Jonsey 02/10/2013, 11:14am PST
                Re: Nice payoff, icecream >:( by fabio 02/10/2013, 12:17pm PST
                Re: Nice payoff, icecream >:( by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/16/2016, 8:39pm PDT
        Re: RESULTS by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/06/2013, 5:09pm PST
            Re: RESULTS by Ice Cream Jonsey 02/06/2013, 8:45pm PST
                What do you mean "Ridiculous e-mail address"? by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/07/2013, 11:25am PST
                    It's ridiculous because your name is ridiculous. And so's your face. by now go motherfuck yourself. Also: 02/07/2013, 2:28pm PST
                        You are a piece of garbage, Mr. Motherfucker. Stop bothering Tdarcos, then NT by get cancer and die 02/07/2013, 5:06pm PST
                            Uh, thanks but I don't need help, I can do my own insults NT by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/07/2013, 5:08pm PST
                                I'll wait two minutes before replying to myself. that'll fool em. NT by Thoughts from an aspie dumbass. 02/07/2013, 8:11pm PST
                                    Pahah really. That was so sad it was almost cute. by Almost. 02/08/2013, 11:00am PST
                                    Or better yet: make a post then make another one faking my handle NT by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/19/2013, 10:02pm PST
    About the Bill Burr special "You people are all the same" by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/19/2013, 11:22pm PST
        A "C". Okay, you are officially insane. by Souffle of Pain 02/20/2013, 7:34am PST
            BUS. Bus! Bus! I like the part when I saw a bus on screen. Public transit. by However, I didn't get the jokes. 02/20/2013, 9:13am PST
        What the fuck are you going on about, you insane masturbator? A bus? Whuh? by YOU CRETINOUS CRETIN 02/20/2013, 12:43pm PST
            I object to that nasty word; please do not use it again by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/21/2013, 8:48am PST
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