Re: I don't understand why you guys are such cunts about this gameby Mischief Maker 02/22/2013, 10:23am PST
Arbit wrote:
Well well, you've selected a theory that casts you as the voice of reason in a sea of insanity and as having superior reflexes and speed...
...to Tom Chick and Yahtzee? Yes.
In Yahtzee's DMC5 video he straight out says that no matter the game, he's gonna mash buttons and that damn well better work or he'll blame the game. DMC5 is the first DMC game where not only did that strategy work but it gave him a SSS ranking. In return he gives DMC5 a "recommended" with the nicest review he's given probably since Psychonauts. Oh how the harsh unforgiving critic purrs when you rub his belly!
Strike Suit Zeo is a space sim with a simple concept: you're flying an absurdly over-powered ship, so the missions throw over-the-top challenges at you that require pushing your ship to the absolute limit. The professional reviewers try to breeze through it like it's fucking Freelancer, get their asses handed to them, and they throw 3/10 hissy fits.
If nothing, Caltrops is about pointing out the terrible state of professional video game criticism. Everyone knows they're bought and paid for by advertising dollars. A new detail that's coming out more and more these days is they're no longer covering up the fact that they suck at games. Some of them even proclaim it proudly. "I'm not Japanese!!!" I remember a time when Nintendo Power used to try and hype up its whores by listing their greatest game achievements (finished Zelda without a sword!) I think it's time to start pointing out that if these reviewers can't play worth shit, they probably shouldn't get paid to write reviews.
ANYWAY,
I can't speak for Fabio, but the reason I'm such a cunt about System Shock 2 is because it's one of my original gaming disappointments, alongside Might and Magic VI. I liked System Shock 1, I loved Thief, and I was PUMPED for a merging of the two. Unfortunately the game failed to live up to its hype and I think the main reason its hype has lasted for so long is because it's been in copyright hell and difficult to acquire for so long.
AND, the main point I would add to Fabio's review is that by midgame you reach a point where worrying about resources is no longer an issue and the game becomes pathetically easy, taking away the scares and tension. At that point the plot is the only thing carrying the game (it certainly isn't the dark engine's graphics) and the plot ends on a real "fuck you" low note. To me, that all adds up to a bad game, and people calling it "THE GREATEST FPS OF ALL TIME!" are in need of some Serious correction.
