Caltrops - The Zionist Media Conspiracy

Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy

by Caltrops Fact Checker 10/08/2015, 9:35am PDT

Let the Right One In. TL/DR: Young boy meets a girl vampire his age. TYPE: Vampire movie Scariness: 6/10. Gore: 6/10. A wonderful and original story of a vampire and her minion.

Yep, great movie. Definitely watch the original.

Pontypool– TL/DR: Radio station besieged by contagious insanity. TYPE: Zombie. Scariness: 7/10. Gore: 6/10. An interesting Canadian horror film about language, memes, and murder zombies.

Never seen it, might check it out tonight!

The Host– TL/DR: Mutant monster menaces Seoul. TYPE: Sea monster. Scariness: 8/10. Gore: 5/10. JoonHo Bongs terrific, Spielbergian story that focuses on one family trying to make it through the rampage of a giant mutant monster.

This is worth seeing though I enjoyed it more for the hilarious gallumphing fish monster than for any alleged 8/10 scariness.

Hellraiser– TL/DR: Puzzle box summons torture demons. TYPE: Demon Scariness: 8/10. Gore: 10/10. The franchise-making debut of Clive Barker to cinema, which unleashed an ongoing cinematic fad with mixed results.

Essential classic, everyone's seen this.

The Nameless TL/DR: Detective investigates a missing girl. TYPE: Cult. Scariness: 8/10. Gore 6/10. A Spanish adaptation of a Ramsay Cambell story, Los Sin Nombre gets the genre of cosmic horror down better than almost any tentacle monster. You could call it the Spanish forerunner of True Detective.

Never seen it, interested though.

Sleepy Hollow– TL/DR: New England town terrorized by Headless Horsemen. TYPE: Gothic/ghost. Scariness: 6/10. Gore 8/10. Tim Burton does an homage to the 1960s Hammer Horror Films, and largely succeeds.

Stylish horror comedy. Only a tiny baby would find this scary. For Burton completists only.

Troll Hunter– TL/DR: Found footage of film students following a man who hunts trolls. TYPE: Monster. Scarine 5/10. Gore 4/10. One of the better of the found footage sub-genre.

Great found-footage satirical comedy, it's hilarious. Not a horror movie in any way shape or form.

The House of the Devil– TL/DR- Co-ed accepts contract to take care of old woman in a rural house. TYPE: Cult. Scariness: 7/10. Gore: 7/10. A wonderful throwback to 1980s horror.

I discussed this at length when it first hit Netflix. I don't know how scary it is but it's definitely worth seeing.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer– TL/DR: Dramatized account of the atrocities of serial killers Henry Lee Lucas and Otis Toole. TYPE: Serial killer. Scariness: 10/10. Gore: 9/10.

Never seen it. Looking for corroboration on how good it is.

H. P. Lovecrafts Re-Animator– TL/DR: Med student finds a means to re-animate dead bodies. Type: Zombie. Scariness: 4/10. Gore: 10/10. Stuart Gordon’s campy zombie masterpiece.

Stuart Gordon’s campy zombie masterpiece is accurate.

The Babadook– TL/DR: Woman is haunted by a nightmarish children’s book, and the creature therein. TYPE: Evil spirit. Scariness: 8/10. Gore: 3/10. Ossie Davis does for mothers what Jack Nicholson did for dads in The Shining.

Everybody tells me not to believe the hype about this movie.

The Prophecy– TL/DR: Angels can be just as scary as demons. TYPE: Demons/satanic. Scariness: 5/10. Gore: 6/10. Christopher Walken is the archangel Gabriel- no more need be said.

This movie is terrible. You might think it would be worth it to see Christopher Walken as an evil angel or Aragorn from LOTR as the devil, but no. So boring and terrible.

Wes Cravens New Nightmare– TL,DR: Freddy Tries to break out of the film business. Scariness: 6/10. Gore 7/10. An important transition point in Wes Craven’s career, marking the border between the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and the meta-horror of Scream.

It's alright, better than Scream IMO. The original is on Netflix right now, it's clearly better than any of its sequels. I'd recommend the Freddy documentary that's on Netflix, too.

Mimic– TL,DR: Somethings eating people in the NY sewers. Type: Monster. Scariness: 7/10. Gore: 8/10. Guillermo Del Toros first Hollywood film.

I like this movie but I wouldn't call it a good movie or recommend it to anyone.

VHS– TL/DR: Anthology of found footage short films. TYPE: Mixed/ anthology. Scariness: 7/10. Gore: 10/10. A showcase of various trends in modern horror cinema.

We've discussed these at length.

Overall: pickins are so extremely thin on Netflix right now. =(