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Castlevania by Mischief Maker 10/29/2018, 5:17pm PDT
Half-assed.

There is only one episode worth watching. It's the second to last episode of season 2 where they have Trevor with the morningstar whip, Alucard with his sword, and Sypha with her ice platform take on a room full of vampires to a symphonic rendition of a classic Castlevania song.

The rest of the show is a sloooooooooow buildup to that moment. Whole episodes go by where the heroes are just sitting in a giant library reading books and sharpening weapons. Dracula sits in his chair in front of the fireplace in a depressed funk. Disloyal vampires from Dracula's court hatch schemes that don't even get a chance to even begin.

Trevor is supposed to be the reluctant hero, but he's so dumb and such a douche he never becomes likeable. Alucard is just an inscrutable Bishonen whose only sign of a personality is he jokingly tells Trevor "fuck you" from time to time. Sypha, well she's the smart chick, so they didn't feel the need to give her a personality. On the flipside they wanted to make Dracula sympathetic, but he does nothing but wallow in depression over the death of Alucard's mother, and in the end the only thing the show does to show why all the other vampires are so terrified of him is that he's taller and physically stronger than them. The only characters that are somewhat interesting are Dracula's scheming and bickering lieutenants.

The one thing the show does have in spades is vampires and bat monsters tearing apart human bodies in a zillion different ways while making it abundantly clear they are killing children and babies in the process. Also someone in the art department has a really unhealthy obsession with vampires stomping on people's heads and bursting their skulls open like a rotten pumpkin.

As a drama it's half-assed because the characters are all 2 dimensional stereotypes. As an action show it's half-assed. And even as a collection of videogame fanservice it's half-assed. The heroes spend almost no time inside castlevania itself, barely any of the iconic rooms show up (there's a brief moment where trevor climbs on some gears) the monsters are all a bunch of giant were-bats, at best you might see one scene in an episode where Trevor throws an axe in an arcing trajectory and I guess I was supposed to come at the sight of it.

Bleh.
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