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by Jerry Whorebach 04/26/2019, 12:42am PDT |
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Mischief Maker wrote:
But if instead of small talk you tried some "perfect" pickup line then yes, she probably would tell everyone the story of meeting you and how horrible your pickup line was. So stay away from those things.
The perfect pickup line wouldn't do me much good, anyway, because I'd have absolutely no followup. I'd be setting the bar way too high out of the gate. My immediate goal is just to try and respond the next time a woman talks to me. But even when I manage that, my first instinct is always to end the conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible, like pulling my hand out of a fire. The ironic thing is, I would hold my hand in an actual fire until the flesh starts to slough off like greasy fried chicken if that's all it took to get a date. Which is precisely the sort of desperate psycho talk I should try not to lead with.
Here's an anecdote that would be more at home in a Gene Wilder movie than real life. One evening last summer, a girl stopped me on a bridge. She was exotic, Indian maybe, slender, with a black pony tail that went all the way down her back. The lights were off in the German Hall, and from where we were standing we could see someone moving around inside with a flashlight. She asked me if I'd like to go investigate with her. I said I'd love to... but I had somewhere I needed to be. The first part was true - I love investigations! And I bet I'd love girls, too, if I got to know one. Only the second part was a lie: I've never needed to be anywhere in my life. I took off and finished my run, metaphorically kicking myself with every step, then went home and fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons.
I'm absolutely convinced that no matter how badly that experience could have gone, it would've at least made a better story than an episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Even one with Aquaman in it. I feel like I'm standing on the precipice of change, I just need to push myself over the edge. But not in a desperate psycho way. |
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Adventures in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy by Jerry Whorebach 06/03/2018, 9:46pm PDT 
ACTUALLY I think you'll find it's Sex AND the City NT by diaf 06/04/2018, 6:24am PDT
I thought it was about reprograming the mind? by No, the OTHER CBT! 06/04/2018, 8:27pm PDT
It's a set up. by Motherhead 06/09/2018, 7:09am PDT
Thought about a support group, got intimidated by the photo of a support group. by Jerry Whorebach 04/21/2019, 10:07pm PDT
Re: Thought about a support group by Mysteriobama 04/22/2019, 8:46am PDT
I'm probably being too hard on the girls, but sitting next to Warrick from CSI by is doing them no favours. 04/22/2019, 12:05pm PDT
Re: I'm probably being too hard on the girls, but sitting next to Warrick by Mysteriobama 04/22/2019, 9:34pm PDT
According to my doctor, I'm 5'7½". by Jerry Whorebach 04/22/2019, 10:50pm PDT
I'm pretty certain Peter Dinklage gets pussy. by Mischief Maker 04/23/2019, 6:26am PDT
Realistically? by Jerry Whorebach 04/23/2019, 10:57pm PDT
I've heard it said that smart people have the hardest time with small talk. by Mischief Maker 04/24/2019, 12:03am PDT
I appreciate the advice, everyone. by Jerry Whorebach 04/26/2019, 12:42am PDT
Bunch of old farts not even mentioning Tindr or Grindr by Roop 04/26/2019, 6:52pm PDT
Re: I appreciate the advice, everyone. by Mischief Shai-hulud 04/27/2019, 7:56am PDT
LARPing as relationship counsellors NT by Caltrops sole content in 2019? 04/27/2019, 8:36am PDT
Are we doing this? Is this a thing? by blackwater 04/27/2019, 2:44pm PDT
You're funny and buff. by That one dickhead Mysterio 04/24/2019, 10:38am PDT
TFW you expose vulnerabilities on a forum of cretinous reprobates to seek abuse, NT by but get nothing but support. 04/24/2019, 3:58pm PDT
RPS released their article guidelines by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/25/2019, 9:03am PDT
Re: Realistically? by Mysteriobama 04/25/2019, 3:57pm PDT
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