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by Jerry Whorebach 07/31/2019, 2:59am PDT |
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I could say I'm a drug dealer, but then she's going to want me to get her some drugs. I would have to sell the kind of drugs women don't use, like steroids. I could be the guy at the gym with a locker full of steroids. Every day I'd leave the apartment with my gym bag, but what she wouldn't know is it's actually full of sandwiches for me to eat in the park. It wouldn't work, though, because one of her friends is going to spot me feeding the birds when I'm supposed to be sticking needles in big beefy guys' asses, and my whole house of cards is going to come tumbling down. It would probably help if I had a model for a romantic relationship that didn't come from Must See TV. |
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