Forum Overview :: Breath of Death VII
 
Re: A shocking discovery! by laudablepuss 07/10/2022, 3:40pm PDT
Mysteriobama wrote:

Serious suggestion, look into doing decluttering for others who have lost a partner when you're ready. As a semi-pro wrangler of do gooders, I see a huge need for this, and it takes someone who's been there to do it right for another shattered person. Any church can hook you up, I would say. Except Westboro Baptist, who hate fags.


Long, boring reply follows.

It seems unlikely that I'll ever have the energy to do that, but I can mention how I'm going about it. I have a "memory box" for papers and cards and odds and ends that remind me of Mandy -- stuff like her name tag bracelets from some of her hospital stays, or notes she'd give me to read at work. When I discovered that she had a ton of stuff from before we ever met that she never mentioned, stuff that had stayed in boxes our entire relationship, I decided she needed a memory box (or two) also. Band medals, vacation pictures, her high school diary (!) -- things that I can't understand fully without her telling me about then but were clearly important to her. So that stuff goes in there for the most part. Some of this might go to her family at some point. These are small items that might be nice to have. Her Dad lives in a trailer home so I can't send him a ton of crap.

(Her Dad had said, "I want her keyboard" (meaning her Toshiba electric piano) and I said, "uh, no?" First of all, like I said, where the hell would he put it, second, I bought it and if she's not using it, it's mine. And third, HE ALREADY HAS AN AWESOME KEYBOARD. We got this one because she loved his keyboard and this was similar. Good grief.)

Then things that maybe she liked but I have no use for, like purely decorative jars or certain stuffed animals or whatever, can go to the thrift store. After two years, it's a little easier to part with some of these things. For awhile I was keeping them because in the back of my mind, I thought maybe she'd come back and I could show her that I was keeping her stuff faithfully. It's insane, I know.

She had a ton of work-related or CNA (certified nursing assistant -- she went and got this all on her own to try and change careers) related items too -- almost all from before we met -- and it's harder to know what to do with those. She loved one particular job, so I'm displaying some of her stuff from that on a shelf for now. She'd appreciate that. Her stethoscope and other medical things are in a tupperware organizer drawer thingy. I guess it's an iterative thing, right? Maybe someday I'll be able to part with some of this.

The last thing I try to keep in mind is that the needs of the living are more important than the needs of the dead. I gotta take care of myself and the doggie as best I can. She'd understand that.
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A shocking discovery! by laudablepuss 07/07/2022, 9:12am PDT NEW
    Re: A shocking discovery! by Mysteriobama 07/07/2022, 6:50pm PDT NEW
        Fag NT by The Phelpses 07/07/2022, 10:43pm PDT NEW
        Re: A shocking discovery! by laudablepuss 07/10/2022, 3:40pm PDT NEW
            Re: A shocking discovery! by Mysteriobama 07/10/2022, 6:16pm PDT NEW
            Re: A shocking discovery! by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/10/2022, 9:52pm PDT NEW
 
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