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It's time to talk about porn! by Fussbett 01/18/2003, 12:01pm PST
Senor Barborito wrote:

First and only porno flick I watched

Fag!


anal is a huge turnoff to me...good shit

I just truncated for comic effect.


...even the leading male is pretty decent-looking.

Better or worse than Orlando Bloom on your fuckability scale? (also: fag!)

The first porn movie (notice that Bill and I used the term "porn movie" while you fresh faced lads embarassingly call them "pornos") I ever saw was something about Greek mythology and not only was it terrible, but I flashback to it everytime I play Age of Mythology -- instead of raining down lighting, I expect Zeus to give the other team "...a good fucking now, baby!". Forget that, though, and lets discuss the LAST full-length porn I saw. Does anyone really rent or buy porn here in the days of Kazaa and IRC? My latest viewing is also my only porn DVD experience: CHRISTOPH CLARK'S EURO HARDBALL. (The "SPECIAL FETISH MENU" is just a shortcut to all the grouped scenes featuring: ass to mouth, anal dildos, toe in ass insertions, etc)

Thanks to the Stile Project and rotten.com and American McGee's Alice, I'm pretty unshockable but Chrisoph Clark's Euro Hardball did offer some surprises. I mean sure, stretching out your woman's asshole with your hand is common practice for most of us, but for Chrisoph Clark it's STEP ONE. Foreplay is a finger in the ass, and while the woman is allowed to give a blowjob, Christoph and his gang of rectum enthusiasts proceed to systematically turn the rosebud into a cavern. It's ritualistic at times, there are no real surprises, and ultimately the inside of everyone's rectum (like black people) looks the same to me.

The most heartbreaking scene for me was when "Monic", possibly the hottest porn actress I've ever seen, walks up to Christoph and... gets her anus stretched in the most anti-erotic manner possible -- her face and body are out of view for most of the proceedings -- it's just Christoph, a henchman, and a woman's ass in view. At least Rocco Siffredi has the decency to lick the girl's asshole before fucking it and then shoving her head in a toilet bowl.
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The Worst Porn Film I Ever Watched by Bill Dungsroman 01/17/2003, 2:23pm PST NEW
    Re: The Worst Porn Film I Ever Watched by laudablepuss 01/17/2003, 3:58pm PST NEW
        Re: The Worst Porn Film I Ever Watched by Jhoh Creexul 01/17/2003, 5:52pm PST NEW
            Norm MacDonald rules. -nt- NT by laudablepuss 01/18/2003, 3:29am PST NEW
            I guess once a comedian's dead it's open season on stealing his jokes. by Mischief Maker 11/13/2009, 12:11pm PST NEW
                No Norm is still alive. by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 11/13/2009, 12:23pm PST NEW
    Re: The Worst Porn Film I Ever Watched by Senor Barborito 01/17/2003, 5:56pm PST NEW
        It's time to talk about porn! by Fussbett 01/18/2003, 12:01pm PST NEW
            Re: It's time to talk about porn! by Jhoh Creexul 01/18/2003, 9:00pm PST NEW
    Re: The Worst Porn Film I Ever Watched by Cyrris 01/17/2003, 10:34pm PST NEW
        Re: DVD kid by Senor Barborito 01/18/2003, 6:59am PST NEW
            Re: DVD kid by Mr. Copy 11/13/2009, 8:21pm PST NEW
 
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