Forum Overview :: Alan Wake
 
Re: Alan Wake had too much same-y gameplay of killing shadows in between by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/02/2023, 2:53pm PDT
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

but this is crazy wrote:

Four hours in and I've had like 15-20 minutes of action, two hours of dialogue, and an hour of unnecessarily staring at particle board detective trees putting up post-its of information I JUST HEARD IN A CUTSCENE 30 seconds ago and pondering "Hmmm I wonder what he meant by that"?


There's a moment in Oneyplays when they're doing Forspoken, the character summarizes everything that's happened for the past 30 minutes and Zach yells "WE KNOW THE FUCKING PLOT!" in that screechy Goblin voice of his and this might've been a decent game if there had been someone to yell that in Sam Lake's ear every time they thought about implementing this stupid "Mind Palace" mechanic.


I got it free from getting a new video card. I will try it out over lunch. I just hope it looks nice.


It looks nice. I have no idea what the screenshot is on the awful Epic Game Launcher so I can't inline a picture.

The thing is stupid waste of time though. I'm already in a bad mood because I have to "link" my Epic account to this game and when I clicked that I didn't want to do that, because fuck Tim Sweeney, the game closed. OK, so it's not a choice after all, why bother asking me.

We then have three cover Tim's ass screens filled with legalese that I suppose waives my rights to send all my metrics to an organ harvesting dictatorship. Why even ask, Tim. When this dumb game starts, we begin with a brief cinematic and they don't have the subtitles lining up with the speech. I guess the world's greatest video card doesn't quite have the technology to keep up with a pre-rendered .mov file. We pivot to a naked middle aged guy wandering around a beautiful but totally bounded and constrained forest. You can't jump or interact with the logs that you should be able to jump over or move. There is apparently one "correct" direction I am supposed to go. I guess I encountered a boyfriend and girlfriend couple that correctly ran away from my character and me on a hill I couldn't get to.

So I'm just aimlessly wandering around a BSP. Who has time for this? Every 10 seconds in a computer game the computer game should answer the question "what is stopping the player from just quitting?" Holy shit this fails at that. Design your opening level better so I can't help but go to the "right" spot because I can fucking tell you I don't need PRACTICE at moving a shambling unathletic body with WASD, I do that every day of my life on my own. I bet in the new RoboCop game I'm shooting 10 guys in the dick at this point. Not here in Alan Wake 2.

80 GB for this nonsense too, btw.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Alan Wake II is pretentious, overbearing and boring by Mysterio 10/30/2023, 8:28pm PDT NEW
    Heard it's beautiful. by Ray Gun Gunray 10/30/2023, 9:03pm PDT NEW
        Alan Wake had too much same-y gameplay of killing shadows in between story beats by but this is crazy 10/31/2023, 7:46am PDT NEW
            Re: Alan Wake had too much same-y gameplay of killing shadows in between by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/02/2023, 10:57am PDT NEW
                Re: Alan Wake had too much same-y gameplay of killing shadows in between by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/02/2023, 2:53pm PDT NEW
                    The last thing I'll ever say about Epic, I hope. by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/02/2023, 3:40pm PDT NEW
                        And their stupid, worthless store puts up notifications/ADS on the bottom right NT by of my PC 11/02/2023, 5:55pm PDT NEW
                            Helped themselves right to Startup on Boot too of course NT by what a great platform 11/02/2023, 6:22pm PDT NEW
                                Ahhh, it's a good app. it's doing its best. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/02/2023, 8:09pm PDT NEW
    Pleased to know that Yahtzee's first new vid confirms that Sam Lake's head by is up his own ass 11/15/2023, 12:51pm PST NEW
        "Fully Ramblomatic" not since the change in theme music NT by have I been more ashamed of Yaht 11/15/2023, 4:51pm PST NEW
            That's what it was called before it was on The Escapist NT by Mysterio 11/15/2023, 5:20pm PST NEW
                :/ NT by -_- 11/15/2023, 5:36pm PST NEW
                Ah. All right then. NT by Gaige Grosskreutz 11/16/2023, 7:37am PST NEW
        The designer put himself in? That's really dumb. by VORPoster 11/16/2023, 9:26am PST NEW
    Naturally Pig & Bald love it by dr. no 11/15/2023, 4:17pm PST NEW
        Re: Naturally Pig & Bald love it by Ruf 11/15/2023, 5:18pm PST NEW
 
powered by pointy