Caltrops - Review Requests!

Forum Overview :: Review Requests!

by Number Man (Wacky intro caption!) 06/16/2024, 4:54am PDT

Mysterio wrote:

Also, note to the art director. It's ok for Iron Man to leave his helmet on.

Also fine: letting one goddamn line go by without being a quip

Number of Iron Man lines that are quips: 28/28

I went back and kept count. Out of his first 28 lines, every single one was some "funny" quip. I stopped counting then.

Everyone else is about 75%. When a line is quip-less, it's usually the one designated straight character for the scene, almost always the main character, Strange, or the old Caretaker bitch. Even they can't go quipless.

Number of times I meant to try some more since yesterday, but lost interest once I remembered the load times: 3

Seriously the load times and resource hogging in this game. Every other cutscene takes nearly a full minute to load. I haven't seen constant long loading screens like this since the Playstation 1 days. I've also never seen a bigger memory hog. This thing consistently takes up 5 gig of memory when all other games I've checked are 2-3. I tried running full screen on all low settings where it barely looks better than the first Dragon Age and it still gives my system a workout.

The one decent point is I can see where this kind of combat system could be really fun. Knocking out one-hit mooks all over the place to build a power meter to use on elites. The problem is there are only 2-4 mooks at once. They need to spam this cannon fodder everywhere so you're mowing them down like bowling pins and laughing, not knock one mook into the only other mook then waiting to hit end turn for another two to spawn. On the other end of the spectrum, the elites need to be more special and stronger. A typical wave will be 2 mooks, 2 elites. Seriously? There's very little visual difference between the two (demons are identical except the mook versions have a black torso, HYDRA elites are so indistinguishable from mooks the only way I can tell them apart is to hover over them to check for a lifebar). Combat animations also play in their entirety against mooks. I wouldn't get that tired of them if they only played against elites, but it's for everything.

Mooks should outnumber elites like 4 to 1. There should be at least a dozen at once. They should have reinforcements pour in as soon as they're defeated. The power bar should also fill up based on the number of mooks you KO, not a set number per card played. Give me those dopamine dings and bars when I pull off a crazy move that sends tons of them sprawling. I should be imagining the sound of bowling pins getting knocked over every time I take them out. All attacks against mooks should be sped to no more than one full second, then full animations against elites would have more impact.

I thought of all this shit to improve your game in the first 10 minutes (of actual playing, not load screens). Fuck sake.