|
by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 9:59am PST |
|
 |
|
 |
|
What is this, your first car accident? That shit has happened to me so many times, I really have lost count. (Though, thinking back, I've only been in 3-4 car vs.car accidents. The other 9-10 were Me vs. Icy Roads and their evil allies Big Trees). The best one was where my mom got distracted, ran a red light, and we got hit by somebody that never even touched the brake. I was in the hospital for three days on that one (my mom, two weeks). My skeleton saved my life on that one. (Thanks, Mr Skull! Sorry about the fracture!)
The funniest one was, my sister and I were waiting to turn left off a very very icy main road after picking up some pizzas. My sister looks up in the rear view mirror and starts going "Shit... SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!" BAM! The person behind us didn't leave enough room to stop on the 10-on-Slickter-Scale road. So, we're totaled, broken glass is everywhere, we're checking our bodies for missing appendages, and a knocking comes on the window. It's the fat kid that was the passenger in the At Fault Vehicle.
"Can you guys take me to my party?"
"No, we're not taking you to any party! We're waiting for the cops."
So, we walk back to make sure the driver is okay. This 300 lb woman is PINNED UNDER HER STEERING WHEEL. She's going to need jaws of life to exit her car. The car is dumping its gasoline all over the road.
Me: "Are you okay lady? I'm going to go call the cops and, I guess an ambulance!"
Fat lady: "Can you take him to his party first? It's his first dance!"
Me and sister: (unison) "NO!"
Cops are called, we sit back in our brokeass car. Might as well eat the pizza. ("Mind that broken glass, there.")
Cops arrive: "Wow! We've got an ambulance on the way. Everything is going to be all right."
Me: "Good, good."
Cop: "Where is the bleeding coming from?"
Me: "Bl...bleeding?"
Cop: "Your hands are covered in blood."
Me: "No sir, that's um... pizza sauce."
(The kid got a random stranger that stopped to see if he could help to take him to his dance. When he left [and when we left] his mom was still pinned in the dangerously fucked up car.) |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Fussbett 01/28/2003, 6:48am PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 8:03am PST 
Newbie! That's a rookie accident! by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 9:59am PST 
Yeah, but did you have your camera with you? NO (nt) NT by Choson 01/28/2003, 10:08am PST 
No, and I didn't write a funny article about it. Nice visual aids. NT by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 4:18pm PST 
You want a newbie? Try me. by Senor Barborito 01/28/2003, 10:38am PST 
I've never been in a car accident, because I'm afraid of driving. (nt) by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 11:10am PST 
update by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 2:44am PST 
Re: update by laudablepuss 01/29/2003, 3:34am PST 
How Zseni got taken into custody. by Zseni 01/28/2003, 11:32am PST 
Whenever the cops bust me for shit like that... by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 1:37pm PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Motherhead 01/28/2003, 2:18pm PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Entropy Stew 01/28/2003, 5:06pm PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by laudablepuss 01/28/2003, 6:57pm PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by veronica 01/28/2003, 9:12pm PST 
Stupid Teenage Driving by creativepig 01/28/2003, 11:52pm PST 
You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 12:59am PST 
Physician, heal thyself by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 1:20am PST 
Re: You guys suck by veronica 01/29/2003, 1:40am PST 
Just remember, honey: when they tease you it means they like you. by Zseni 01/29/2003, 2:17am PST 
And when they follow from #ga to tease, I ban (more) by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 2:43am PST 
Chet is dead, long live Chet [nt] NT by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 2:47am PST 
Fag -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 3:33pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 3:24am PST 
shut the fuck up, you worthless troll -nt- NT by ydrt 01/29/2003, 4:25am PST 
I've trolled before, plenty of times, and this guy is not a troll. by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:57am PST 
Re: You guys suck by motherhead 01/29/2003, 7:26am PST 
Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 1:27pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by spanky 01/30/2003, 7:25pm PST 
Rule 1? by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 10:15pm PST 
Re: You guys suck- yes i just noticed this. by motherhead 01/31/2003, 6:39am PST 
For what it's worth . . . by Senor Barborito 01/31/2003, 8:42am PST 
You're both fags. I'ms starting to agree with that other faggot -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/31/2003, 12:12pm PST 
Stop. Seriously, stop. by I need clarification 02/01/2003, 7:14pm PST 
Re: Stop. Seriously, stop. by RichardSimmonshead 02/02/2003, 1:43am PST 
The '04 Motherhead comes standard with crumple zones and its own cock garage-nt- NT by Entropy Stew 02/02/2003, 5:45am PST 
heated seats too... by motherhead 02/02/2003, 6:50am PST 
I didn't even touch you this time! by Lurker390 02/02/2003, 11:52am PST 
This was lame when I was Ninja :< NT by Ninja 02/03/2003, 4:13am PST 
Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:54am PST 
Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 12:22pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 1:31pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 2:58pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 3:13pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 3:33pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 3:36pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 3:59pm PST 
Excuse me, what did you say? by laudablepuss 01/29/2003, 6:08pm PST 
clarification by a spectator 01/30/2003, 6:43pm PST 
Re: clarification by laudablepuss 01/30/2003, 7:01pm PST 
Re: clarification by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 7:38pm PST 
Minor Chet defense (!) by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:16pm PST 
Yes. by mrs. johnson 01/30/2003, 8:21pm PST 
'Gothiest Post Of The Year Award' winner right here -NT- NT by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:31pm PST 
something makes more sense now - BONUS: recap of final OMM posts by a spectator 01/30/2003, 9:15pm PST 
Man, can we move on yet? (Nt) NT by Choson 01/30/2003, 10:17pm PST 
I agree with this masked man. It's embarassing. (NT) by Fussbett 01/30/2003, 10:36pm PST 
Put it in a FAQ and let's shut up about it already. by Bill Dungsroman 01/31/2003, 11:16am PST 
Too easy for me to fall into this trap by Entropy Stew 01/31/2003, 1:12pm PST 
Yeah, this is getting too retarded even for me. by laudablepuss 01/31/2003, 11:37am PST 
Re: You guys suck by E. L. Koba 01/29/2003, 11:04pm PST 
Too early to render judgement by no one you'd know 02/02/2003, 12:13pm PST 
Actually, once I calmed down by Senor Barborito 02/02/2003, 7:54pm PST 
I need Atorification by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 3:21pm PST 
Worst reply ever by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 3:51pm PST 
Nah, I've made worse replies by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 4:15pm PST 
Re: Nah, I've made worse replies by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 4:26pm PST 
Then this is a convenient time to mention your ass tastes funny anyway by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 5:08pm PST 
ARGH USURPED AGAIN - DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! -NT NT by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 5:10pm PST 
MY SECRET: A BOX OF ARM 'N' HAMMER -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 5:33pm PST 
I was going to call all of you fags, but... by Bill Dungsroman 01/29/2003, 5:52pm PST 
You had me at 'histrionic' . . . *sniffle* -NT- by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 6:02pm PST 
Now I need clarification by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 6:39pm PST 
(sigh) okay, I'll do it for you... by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 5:40pm PST 
The faggot unmasked! by Columbo 01/29/2003, 6:17pm PST 
Re: The faggot unmasked! by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 6:25pm PST 
Keep trying by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:07pm PST 
Argue? About what? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:33pm PST 
Re: Argue? About what? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:42pm PST 
Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:10pm PST 
Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:24pm PST 
Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:39pm PST 
Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 10:18pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:43am PST 
Re: You guys suck by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 3:02pm PST 
Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 4:37pm PST 
Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 4:52pm PST 
Re: Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 10:23pm PST 
Re: Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 10:58pm PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Mischief Maker 01/28/2003, 7:36pm PST 
You drove a Mazda? Jesus Fuck. n/T NT by mrs. johnson 01/28/2003, 9:04pm PST 
As I will again in the summer when the Mazda RX-8 comes out. by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 2:55am PST 
Well... by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 9:47pm PST 
Aerosmith video from early 90's claims latest copycat victim. by Bodybag 01/28/2003, 11:18pm PST 
Re: Aerosmith video from early 90's claims latest copycat victim. by veronica 01/29/2003, 12:20am PST 
Now THIS is how you wreck by Bodybag not copy+pasting from PoE 01/29/2003, 11:08pm PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by I bet that bitch would have stopped 01/30/2003, 10:59pm PST 
MC sighting $counter++ by not mc 02/02/2003, 12:22pm PST 
|
|