Forum Overview :: Rants
 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by veronica 01/28/2003, 9:12pm PST
laudablepuss wrote:

Glad you're okay, Fusbett. Also: brilliant post. All you're lacking in the funny department is a Catholic schoolgirl touching herself in a suspicious manner.

I have no accident reports, thankfully. I've spun out twice in the past while driving on ice, but I didn't hit anyone or anything. Pretty lucky. I've learned a little about driving on slick roads since then. Everyone should be as fortunate as me.


I learned this lesson when my car lost its tenuous grip on the ice and found a tree. I should preface by saying that I was a stupid teenage driver, and managed to do stupid teenage things, some of them resulting in accidents. The tree one happened when I decided to play "let's make the car fishtail!" on a back road. I'd done it in parking lots, but somehow basic geometry failed me, and I didn't grasp that a road isn't as wide and object-free as a parking lot. The only thing that made me feel like less of a jackass was when the police car, driving carefully across the ice, also managed to slide almost into the tow truck.

My passenger, who was a friend of mine at the time, managed to barely survive since we slammed into the tree right behind where he was sitting. This is a very unfortunate thing. He would later go on to rape one of my other friends. My boyfriend at the time was highly proficient in several forms of martial arts (and a form of Japanese sword, Zseni), and after the incident, while "play" fighting with this guy, he kicked him on the side of the face, causing a jaw fracture and a small waterfall of blood to come out of his ear - nice touch.

I hung around with the misfits, the punks, what have you, and in a small town like mine that was enough probable cause to be pulled over. I was stopped several times with the "So who's in your car? What are you doing? Where are you going?" line of questioning. I only ever once got a speeding ticket, and that was in Massachusetts (of course)...I contested it in court, and got it cut in half. Woo!

I've never been in any bad accidents though (yet?). I don't drive now, but I am nearly mauled daily by drivers who are on a mission to hit me as I walk to and from work. Many of them on their cell phones, grr.

v
Closest possibility for a bad accident: The only time ever that I haven't swerved for an animal in the road was when I was moving from California to Massachusetts. I was driving 85mph on I-80 at night time. Everything myself and my ex owned was in the one-ton Chevy van I was driving. It was fully loaded. And look, there's a bunny. I guess there are times when I choose my own life, the life of my ex, and the lives of anyone right behind us, over a rabbit...but seeing the blood on the side of the van when we stopped for gas didn't make me happy.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Fussbett 01/28/2003, 6:48am PST NEW
    Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 8:03am PST NEW
    Newbie! That's a rookie accident! by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 9:59am PST NEW
        Yeah, but did you have your camera with you? NO (nt) NT by Choson 01/28/2003, 10:08am PST NEW
            No, and I didn't write a funny article about it. Nice visual aids. NT by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 4:18pm PST NEW
        You want a newbie? Try me. by Senor Barborito 01/28/2003, 10:38am PST NEW
            I've never been in a car accident, because I'm afraid of driving. (nt) by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 11:10am PST NEW
        update by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 2:44am PST NEW
            Re: update by laudablepuss 01/29/2003, 3:34am PST NEW
    How Zseni got taken into custody. by Zseni 01/28/2003, 11:32am PST NEW
        Whenever the cops bust me for shit like that... by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 1:37pm PST NEW
    Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Motherhead 01/28/2003, 2:18pm PST NEW
    Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Entropy Stew 01/28/2003, 5:06pm PST NEW
    Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by laudablepuss 01/28/2003, 6:57pm PST NEW
        Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by veronica 01/28/2003, 9:12pm PST NEW
            Stupid Teenage Driving by creativepig 01/28/2003, 11:52pm PST NEW
            You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 12:59am PST NEW
                Physician, heal thyself by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 1:20am PST NEW
                Re: You guys suck by veronica 01/29/2003, 1:40am PST NEW
                    Just remember, honey: when they tease you it means they like you. by Zseni 01/29/2003, 2:17am PST NEW
                        And when they follow from #ga to tease, I ban (more) by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 2:43am PST NEW
                            Chet is dead, long live Chet [nt] NT by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 2:47am PST NEW
                            Fag -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 3:33pm PST NEW
                    Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 3:24am PST NEW
                        shut the fuck up, you worthless troll -nt- NT by ydrt 01/29/2003, 4:25am PST NEW
                            I've trolled before, plenty of times, and this guy is not a troll. by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:57am PST NEW
                        Re: You guys suck by motherhead 01/29/2003, 7:26am PST NEW
                            Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 1:27pm PST NEW
                                Re: You guys suck by spanky 01/30/2003, 7:25pm PST NEW
                                    Rule 1? by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 10:15pm PST NEW
                                Re: You guys suck- yes i just noticed this. by motherhead 01/31/2003, 6:39am PST NEW
                                    For what it's worth . . . by Senor Barborito 01/31/2003, 8:42am PST NEW
                                        You're both fags. I'ms starting to agree with that other faggot -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/31/2003, 12:12pm PST NEW
                                    Stop. Seriously, stop. by I need clarification 02/01/2003, 7:14pm PST NEW
                                        Re: Stop. Seriously, stop. by RichardSimmonshead 02/02/2003, 1:43am PST NEW
                                            The '04 Motherhead comes standard with crumple zones and its own cock garage-nt- NT by Entropy Stew 02/02/2003, 5:45am PST NEW
                                                heated seats too... by motherhead 02/02/2003, 6:50am PST NEW
                                            I didn't even touch you this time! by Lurker390 02/02/2003, 11:52am PST NEW
                                                This was lame when I was Ninja :< NT by Ninja 02/03/2003, 4:13am PST NEW
                        Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:54am PST NEW
                        Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 12:22pm PST NEW
                            Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 1:31pm PST NEW
                            Re: You guys suck by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 2:58pm PST NEW
                                Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 3:13pm PST NEW
                                    Re: You guys suck by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 3:33pm PST NEW
                                    Re: You guys suck by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 3:36pm PST NEW
                                        Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 3:59pm PST NEW
                                            Excuse me, what did you say? by laudablepuss 01/29/2003, 6:08pm PST NEW
                                                clarification by a spectator 01/30/2003, 6:43pm PST NEW
                                                    Re: clarification by laudablepuss 01/30/2003, 7:01pm PST NEW
                                                        Re: clarification by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 7:38pm PST NEW
                                                            Minor Chet defense (!) by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:16pm PST NEW
                                                                Yes. by mrs. johnson 01/30/2003, 8:21pm PST NEW
                                                                    'Gothiest Post Of The Year Award' winner right here -NT- NT by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:31pm PST NEW
                                                            something makes more sense now - BONUS: recap of final OMM posts by a spectator 01/30/2003, 9:15pm PST NEW
                                                                Man, can we move on yet? (Nt) NT by Choson 01/30/2003, 10:17pm PST NEW
                                                                    I agree with this masked man. It's embarassing. (NT) by Fussbett 01/30/2003, 10:36pm PST NEW
                                                                        Put it in a FAQ and let's shut up about it already. by Bill Dungsroman 01/31/2003, 11:16am PST NEW
                                                                            Too easy for me to fall into this trap by Entropy Stew 01/31/2003, 1:12pm PST NEW
                                                                        Yeah, this is getting too retarded even for me. by laudablepuss 01/31/2003, 11:37am PST NEW
                                            Re: You guys suck by E. L. Koba 01/29/2003, 11:04pm PST NEW
                            Too early to render judgement by no one you'd know 02/02/2003, 12:13pm PST NEW
                                Actually, once I calmed down by Senor Barborito 02/02/2003, 7:54pm PST NEW
                        I need Atorification by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 3:21pm PST NEW
                            Worst reply ever by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 3:51pm PST NEW
                                Nah, I've made worse replies by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 4:15pm PST NEW
                                    Re: Nah, I've made worse replies by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 4:26pm PST NEW
                                        Then this is a convenient time to mention your ass tastes funny anyway by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 5:08pm PST NEW
                                            ARGH USURPED AGAIN - DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! -NT NT by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 5:10pm PST NEW
                                                MY SECRET: A BOX OF ARM 'N' HAMMER -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 5:33pm PST NEW
                                                    I was going to call all of you fags, but... by Bill Dungsroman 01/29/2003, 5:52pm PST NEW
                                                        You had me at 'histrionic' . . . *sniffle* -NT- by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 6:02pm PST NEW
                                                        Now I need clarification by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 6:39pm PST NEW
                                (sigh) okay, I'll do it for you... by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 5:40pm PST NEW
                                    The faggot unmasked! by Columbo 01/29/2003, 6:17pm PST NEW
                                        Re: The faggot unmasked! by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 6:25pm PST NEW
                                            Keep trying by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:07pm PST NEW
                                                Argue? About what? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:33pm PST NEW
                                                    Re: Argue? About what? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:42pm PST NEW
                                                        Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:10pm PST NEW
                                                            Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:24pm PST NEW
                                                                Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:39pm PST NEW
                                                                    Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 10:18pm PST NEW
                Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:43am PST NEW
                    Re: You guys suck by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 3:02pm PST NEW
                        Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 4:37pm PST NEW
                            Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 4:52pm PST NEW
                                Re: Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 10:23pm PST NEW
                                    Re: Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 10:58pm PST NEW
    Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Mischief Maker 01/28/2003, 7:36pm PST NEW
    You drove a Mazda? Jesus Fuck. n/T NT by mrs. johnson 01/28/2003, 9:04pm PST NEW
        As I will again in the summer when the Mazda RX-8 comes out. by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 2:55am PST NEW
            Well... by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 9:47pm PST NEW
    Aerosmith video from early 90's claims latest copycat victim. by Bodybag 01/28/2003, 11:18pm PST NEW
        Re: Aerosmith video from early 90's claims latest copycat victim. by veronica 01/29/2003, 12:20am PST NEW
    Now THIS is how you wreck by Bodybag not copy+pasting from PoE 01/29/2003, 11:08pm PST NEW
    Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by I bet that bitch would have stopped 01/30/2003, 10:59pm PST NEW
        MC sighting $counter++ by not mc 02/02/2003, 12:22pm PST NEW
 
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