Forum Overview :: Rants
 
You sound just like me, it's so cute by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 10:15pm PST
mrs. johnson wrote:

I'm in college. Oh yeah, education, entertainment and eloping. Rock on? Well sort of. I live off campus, so the entertainment is restricted. I don't meet any women because a. I'm too lazy and b. I mostly have lecture classes. But that isn't the future. It's the present. I'm ok with it. At least I get the summer to tramp around in. But shit: I don't want to do anything. I mean, I'm getting a degree in Information Systems, but I don't want to program or be a Systems Analyst. I don't want to be anything or any profession. I want to write, but I'm too lazy and not good enough. What the fuck? Am I destined to live out a life of boring jobs? Do I only have three more summers before I'm forced to slave for the capitalist system? FUCKING FUCK: I DON'T LIKE THE FUTURE AT ALL. Ok here's what I'm going to do. As soon as it won't affect anybody I know, I'll commit suicide, I guess. Yeah that's it. First college, then alienation of everyone I know, then suicide. Don't cry for me: I'm already dead.

Not sure if he's joking,
the mrs.


Hi young Barbie, here's some advice from the future:

a) DO NOT GO INTO IS OR IT OR PROGRAMMING OR ANY 'HI-TECH' (to pronounce it as DeVry Technical College commercials like to) INDUSTRY OF ANY KIND. THEY WILL BE FILLED TO OVERFLOWING WITH AN ABUNDANCE OF WORKFORCE SLAVERING FOR ANY JOB OPPORTUNITY AND ALL OF THEM SMARTER THAN YOU UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE. Go into engineering - electrical or something. If you imagine your potential future involves managing networks then prepare to starve to death and I do mean that. Here in Seattle there are kids with their BS in CompSci serving coffee at fucking Starbucks. Think about that.

b) There is no consequence of not dying worse than the known consequence of dying (complete existential failure). If you have to fuck over EVERYBODY in your life, sell them as slaves, butcher their children with your bare hands, for just five more minutes of breathing time you do it. Committing suicide is the antithesis of logical or rational thought. All that matters is living one second more.

c) If you can stomach it, become a trader on the market. There are two kinds of people in America with real honest-to-God rights: those with money and those with a degree in law. I know a 19-year-old who realized this at 14 and is about to break one million in total worth before his 20th birthday. He can already tell you what his worth will be at a given age. Wouldn't you like to have hundreds of millions by your late 30s? It's not too late to start right now.

d) If all else fails, jerk off. It will calm you down (and believe me you need to calm down more than you realize) and help you concentrate.

--SB
There, everything I wish I could have told myself at age 19.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Why I hate the future. by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 10:00pm PST NEW
    You sound just like me, it's so cute by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 10:15pm PST NEW
        Re: You sound just like me, it's so cute by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 10:16pm PST NEW
            Re: You sound just like me, it's so cute by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 10:54pm PST NEW
                Re: You sound just like me, it's so cute by creativepig 01/29/2003, 11:38pm PST NEW
    Your answer lies... by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 11:04pm PST NEW
        Oh god, that isn't helping. I'm getting nervous. n/T NT by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 11:15pm PST NEW
            Did you finish it yet? -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 11:19pm PST NEW
                Yes. This guy codes HTML. What will I do in 3 years? n/T NT by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 11:33pm PST NEW
                    I think the key is to not get a job at Apple -nt- by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 11:45pm PST NEW
                        I get it. Someone out there wants revenge. n/T NT by mrs. johnson 01/30/2003, 1:00am PST NEW
        Re: Your answer lies... by laudablepuss 01/30/2003, 1:40pm PST NEW
    Re: Why I hate the future. by Bill Dungsroman 01/30/2003, 5:30pm PST NEW
        Ham-handed (but true) generalization: English majors are fruits. by laudablepuss 01/30/2003, 6:02pm PST NEW
        Re: Why I hate the future. by mrs. johnson 01/30/2003, 6:12pm PST NEW
        You give good advice, however by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:51pm PST NEW
            Collector's Post: 1st appearance of SB's Doomsday device? (nt) by Luis Ortega-Lopez 01/30/2003, 10:14pm PST NEW
                Selling 1st ed BB (85,000cal or 4 Bare Walls) | NR=NS | -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 10:47pm PST NEW
            Can I work that into my mutual fund portfolio? by Fussbett 01/31/2003, 2:47pm PST NEW
                The US government is doing this by Senor Barborito 01/31/2003, 4:05pm PST NEW
        Re: Why I hate the future. by up with pod people 01/30/2003, 9:39pm PST NEW
    How triangles saved me and other sub-thoughts by mark 01/30/2003, 9:24pm PST NEW
        Re: How triangles saved me and other sub-thoughts by veronica 01/31/2003, 1:23am PST NEW
        Re: How triangles saved me and other sub-thoughts by mrs. johnson 01/31/2003, 2:50am PST NEW
    I hope it worked out for you, mrs. johnson. by Dr. Foughtrough 01/09/2023, 1:46pm PST NEW
 
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