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| #6 by motherhead 03/12/2003, 1:13am PST | ||||
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| Thank you, I thought this was my own special act of passive self-destruction. I am the only person I know that has this down pathologically. I have good jobs; I have become the most well to do deadbeat I know. The money is in the bank; I want the various parties to receive payment. I would just rather do anything that is possible for humans to do, rather than sit down and pay the fuckers. Auto debiting works only so far.
When the tele-collections come in and they expect a war of "I do not have any money," or " I do not have your money" or "I never bought all three midget porn DVDs, just the one special edition," I stun them by cheerfully stating I am retarded and would love to handle the payment immediately with a electronic transfer from my checking account: "Oh My God, We must correct this simple and perfectly understandable error immediately!" I say. "Is there a specific reason why you have opted to pay your Amex bill net 90 since 1998 sir?" "Nope, do you take checks over the phone, I am fabulously well to do you know, just a little bit retarded." (I sneak in the 'well to do' bit so they don't terminate my credit completely, it works, as they are in the greed business.) This eagerness to make their shitty collection job go smoothly and painlessly also makes them not give me any excess guilt. Also: they usually wave the late fee. Why do they encourage me? This has to stop if I am to someday My solutions: Plan A. A change of perception, I need to abstract the entire mess. I am going to assure that my bank is wired up for ebanking and then get that new game "Quicken." The object of Quicken is to increase personal wealth while mitigating loss. It is a turn based strategy game. I have heard good things about it. Upside: I learn what I have and what I am pissing away stupidly. Downside: Requires learning things associated with responsibility. Awareness of what I have been pissing away on stupidity. Effort. Plan B. Or let the accountant handle it. Upside: I get to do what I have been doing this whole time with less guilt. Downside: I have to trust another human, one made keenly aware of my gross stupidity. I am going to implement one of these soon, probably. |
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