Mischief Maker wrote:

Firstly, I have seen "Manhunter" and "Silence of the Lambs." I've read none of the books and have not seen "Hannibal." I assume Hannibal was so unfuckingbelievably godawful that, in comparison, the sheer mediocrity of Red Dragon seemed beautiful to the eyes of all those whose reviews praised it. Kinda like if "The Last Starfighter" was marketed as a prequel to "Battlefield Earth."

I think the mishandling of this film epitomized in its opening scene. A professional orchestra is playing some song, with Hannibal in the audience. This one flutist gives a fumbled performance, setting him up to be Hannibal's next victim. Is he a little off tune? Does he miss a single note? Does he make some small—but human—mistake that the evil perfectionist would find fatally intolerable? And, finding it so, show the kind of callous disregard for life that might make the audience uncomfortable?

Of course not! He's off key, off tempo, hits wrong note after wrong note, and flubs his way through mistakes instead of shutting up. This motherfucker wouldn't pass for a high school pep band apprentice, much less a professional musician. But here he is, doing everything short of shitting his pants to get the audience rooting for hannibal. This film has no balls.


I'm not one to notice soundtracks, but this soundtrack's ceaseless assault on my intelligence has left a lasting and painful impression. Dude turns on the light to a bedroom revealing blood splattered all over the walls? Shrieking violins. Hannibal leans close to the glass in his cell? Shrieking violins. Special agent Grahm sailing the beautiful Atlantic? Shrieking vi– huh? What? I guess that was so the audience doesn't forget they just finished watching a movie that's freaky shit, dude! Lesson to those attending the Hannibal school of soundtrackery: HUNDREDS OF VIOLINS SAWING WILDLY AT HIGH DISSONANT NOTES leave little room for interpretation, and none for suspense.

There's a technique used in bad movies, called an "informed attribute," whereby a character is described by others as "smart" or "beautiful" or "a great dancer," to compensate for the story's failure to show this on its own. In "Manhunter," it's made clear that Grahm is called out of retirement because of a unique talent: he can set himself into the mindset of serial killers, a process that's left him with deep emotional scars. In "Red Dragon," we have people saying Ed Norton has "imagination" (that everyone else lacks), yet all he does is notice some scraps of evidence that the forensic team should have seen in the first place. Norton's portrayal doesn't so much evoke a tortured-yet-driven soul, as it does a whinier version of IKEA boy without the sense of irony.

They do have Anthony Hopkins. Unfortunately, he's a minor character, but one who costs a bajillion dollars, and so Dino De Laurentis crams as much of him into the movie as possible. To make matters worse, this movie forgets that there's more to what made him scary in "Lambs" than freaky eyes and cannibalism. So, we get CLOSEUPS! Talk about food! Him eating a gourmet meal in his cell! Shrieking violins!!! There're a few scenes of loud noises and sudden cuts to hannibal for a cheap scare, turning Sir Anthony into a high-class version of the "spring-loaded cat" from B-horror films. Worse, they actually have Hannibal repeating the most clichéd psycho-to-cop line in history, "You're scared because you're very much like me. As a killer, that is. I'm implying that there's a fine line separating criminals from the detectives who pursue them. Very fine. Also deep. Can we cue the violins?" He comes off only slightly scarier than Jason Voorhees in "Jason X" (which, despite terrible reviews, is a much smarter horror deconstruction than self-congratulatory crapfest "Scream").

"Manhunter" suffered from a lame Hannibal, ridiculous sets, and a burning-itching case of "the 80s" worse than Buckaroo Banzai, and still it was superior to this tired cash grab. Ralph Fiennes' killer is just Norman Bates with crazy tatoos. Every scene with Dr. Chilton is painfully bad (you see, he's a terrible psychologist and Hannibal constantly outdoes him! Wah-wah-wah). And, of course, those goddamn violins.

As a bonus, it comes on one of the most obnoxious DVDs I've ever watched. A loooong unskippable cutscene before the menu gives away important scenes from the movie, and then when you play the movie IT RUNS PREVIEWS YOU CAN'T FFWD PAST!!! Imagine the sound of shrieking violins. This is to let you know that the DVD is irritating. Got it?