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| Re: No title, but it's fairly brief. by mrs. johnson 07/22/2003, 5:12am PDT | ||||
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| I like it, but you have to be careful about your descriptions. For example, the bit about the sun shining is too tame, it's dull even. I sort of understand how you are structuring your sentences and the descriptions, but you need to give them more thought and possibly make them more abstract to attract more interest. On the plot side, I really enjoyed it. Doing something else with time besides time travel is original. The open-endedness of it allows the thing to stand on its own, while leaving room for more.
Keep on rocking. the mrs. |
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No title, but it's fairly brief. by 07/22/2003, 3:23am PDT  I love the uniform descriptions NT by 07/22/2003, 4:28am PDT Re: No title, but it's fairly brief. by 07/22/2003, 5:12am PDT Thanks. by 07/22/2003, 7:37am PDT |
